


Kim is a bi mess pass it on

by disaster_top



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon), Overwatch (Video Game), Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Kimberly Hart, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, I might mix two more fandoms with this, I'll add tags as they appear, Jason is tired, Kim is in fact a bi disaster, M/M, Memes, Multi, No Plot, Non-binary Tommy Oliver, Other, Sombra likes to fuck shit up, Some Humor, Team as Family, Texting, The gang respects women, Trans Female Character, Trini is an oblivious gay, because I said so, billy is pure, ch 16 and onwards focuses only on the rangers, fuckery and shitposting, groupchat, kim panics too much, to keep things interesting, zack tried to be a wingman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:48:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 32,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25114168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disaster_top/pseuds/disaster_top
Summary: Zack: get in losersKimberly: We’re going shoppingTommy: No------------------Or, the Rangers have a group chat and people keep entering without being invited.
Relationships: Emily/Lena "Tracer" Oxton/Widowmaker | Amélie Lacroix, Fareeha "Pharah" Amari/Moira O'Deorain/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, Kim Possible/Shego, Kimberly Hart & Trini, Kimberly Hart & Zack Taylor, Kimberly Hart/Trini, Satya "Symmetra" Vaswani/Widowmaker | Amélie Lacroix, Sombra | Olivia Colomar/Hana "D.Va" Song, Tommy Oliver/Zack Taylor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	1. When in doubt, use WikiHow

**[9:37 am]**

**[Zack created {Chat}]**

Zack: Now to invite the others

**[Zack added Kimberly, Billy, Jason, and Tommy to {Chat}]**

Zack: get in losers

Kimberly: We’re going shopping

Tommy: No

**[Kimberly changed Kimberly to Bibibi]**

Jason: Why are you two like this?

**[Bibibi changed Jason to MomFriend]**

**[Bibibi changed Billy to SonBoy]**

MomFriend: Stop

Bibibi: Ur welcome asshole

Tommy: bitch

MomFriend: Language

Tommy: English

SonBoy: he’s screeching

Tommy: ignore him

Tommy: Hey Kim, Remember when u got drunk yesterday and ranted about how pretty Trini was?

Bibibi: Yeah???

**[Tommy changed Bibibi to Imcrushingonafreshmen]**

Imcrushingonafreshmen: You little binch

**[MomFriend added Trini to {Chat}]**

**[MomFriend left {Chat}]**

Imcrushingonafreshmen: biTCH!!!

Trini: Hey

Zack: Hiiiii

Tommy: How wholesome

Trini: What’s this?

Imcrushingonafreshmen: A chat

Trini: Ah

Imcrushinonafrechmen: asdfghjkl;

**[11:38 am]**

Imcrushinonafrechmen: guys, the flag on the moon was waving but there’s no wind on the moon

Trini: the moon landing was faked

Zack: ffs Kim

**[1:27 pm]**

**[Trini changed the chat name to {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Imcrushinonafrechmen: iVE bEEn ATTacKeD bY my OWn kIND

Trini: chill, it’s nothing

Zack: yeah Kim, wheres ur chill????

Imcrushinonafrechmen: When u find it tell me

Trini: wow

Trini: okay then

Zack: u could cut urself on that edge

SonBoy: who’s phone keeps going off in class?

Zack: not it

Zack: it’s not Jason either

Trini: it’s Kim

Imcrushinonafrechmen: wHAT?!!!??!?1

Trini: we all usually mute our phones

Trini: buT KIMBERLY “mY PHOne hAS a vOLuMe bUTToN????” HART DIDN’T

Imcrushinonafrechmen: chill

Tommy: let’s start a band

Trini: no

Imcrushinonafrechmen: No

SonBoy: sorry but no

**[MomFriend entered {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

MomFriend: No

**[MomFriend left {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Tommy: wow okay

Tommy: fake ass friends

Zack: wait hold up

Zack: if we did start a band who would the girls be throwing their bras at?

Trini: it would be Kim

Imcrushinonafrechmen: Wow

Imcrushinonafrechmen: A compliment

Imcrushinonafrechmen: From u Trini?

Imcrushinonafrechmen: it means the world to me

Trini: uh, thanks Kim

Trini: this is what friends r for zACK

Imcrushinonafrechmen: ...yeah

Zack: …

**[Zack created {beT ON IT}]**

**[Zack added Kimberly to {beT ON IT}]**

Zack: what the actual fuck was that

Zack THiS iS wHAT friENdS arE For zACk

Zack: ...YEaH

Kimberly: I don’t know

Zack: y did u sat that to her u uSSELesS BISeXuaL diSAStEr?!!

Kimberly: LEAVE ME ALONE

Zack: u know lesbians get such a bad rep for being useless but the one who is actually useless is yOUR SLOW BISEXUAL ASS!!!

Zack: U TWO ARE LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF GALS BEING PALS

Zack: MAKE AN ACTUAL MOVE U Bi dUMBasS

Kimberly: RELATIONSHIPS TAKE TIME ZACK

Zack: U AREN’T EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH TRINI YET

Kimberly: sHUT UP IT’S A SLOWBURN

Zack: wELL TICK TOCK BITCH, WE’RE ALL WAITING FOR U 2 TO JUST BONE ALREADY

Kimberly: dON’T RUSH ME

Zack: u better ask her out Kim or istg

Zack: u still hold doors open for her like ur roMEO LOOKING FOR HIS JULIET

Zack: U KEEP GIVING HER HEART EYES 24/7 AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT

Kimberly: YEAH BUT WHEN I TRY TO HIT ON HER SHE ACTS SOOOOOO GODDAMN OBLIVIOUS. LIKE IT S URP RISES ME THAT SHE FIGURED OUT THAT SHE WAS GAY

Kimberly: AT THIS PACE SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN STR8 FOR FUCKING YEARS!!

Zack: up ur game

Zack: MAKE THE GAY TENTION STRONGER AND PIN HER AGAINST THE WALL AND KISS HER!!!

Kimberly: thatS LITERALLY SEXUAL ASSAULT TAYloR

Kimberly: im bocking u

Zack: do it u wont

Kimberly: try me bINcH

**[Zack changer Kimberly to My nAME is GAy]**

My nAME is GAy: how dare u

**[My nAME is GAy changed Zack to Trailer]**

**[Trailer changed My nAME is GAy to Bi mess]**

Bi mess: truce?

Trailer: truce

**[{Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Trini: what’s wrong with Kim?

**[MomFriend entered {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

MomFriend: she likes you, go for it

**[MomFriend left {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Zack: another truly memorable moment from one Jason Lee Scott

Tommy: screenshoitted

Zack: the tea? Spilt

Tommy: My wig? Snatched

Zack: hotel?

Tommy: trivago

Trini: why is he like this?

Tommy: Kim is going through this

Tommy:

Zack: okay?

Trini: oh

**[12:52 pm]**

**[trailer added Tommy to {beT ON IT}]**

Tommy: it’s time to join us

Trailer: it’s time to join us

Bi mess: it’s time to die

Tommy: aSK

Trailer: Trini

Tommy: oUT

**[Bi mess left {beT ON IT}]**

Tommy: smh sore subject I guess

**[{Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Trini: wheres kim?

Tommy: she’s being a little bitch

Zack: agreed

**[9:26 am]**

Imcrushinonafrechmen: This is the place where fun comes to die

Zack: WELl thAT IS noT a fuN WAy to StarT The evENINg JESsiCA

Trini: fuck off jANET

Imcrushinonafrechmen: im not going to ur fucking baby shower

Trini: god I love u

Imcrushinonafrechmen: asdFGHJKL

Zack: ah yes

Zack: ur daily dose of dumb bi energy has been provided by the one and only

Zack: Kimberly “Bi mess” Hart

**[{beT ON IT}]**

Trailer: how do u feel about crazy girl’s outfit?

Tommy: istg Trini walked into bio and Kim chocked

Bi mess: no one has the right to be that attractive

Trailer: wow, okay

Trailer: overacting much?

Bi mess: shit up zack

Trailer: shit up?

Trailer: I don’t think that’s anatomically possible

Bi mess: shut up

Bi mess: imma google how to ask a girl out and ask trini on a date

Tommy: when in doubt use WikiHow

**[1:28 pm]**

**[{Kim is a bi disaster}]**

Imcrushinonafrechmen: @Trini

Trini: whut?

Imcrushinonafrechmen: um, we’ve been friends for a while right?

Trini: yes Kim, we have

Imcrushinonafrechmen: and I appreciate ur company

Imcrushinonafrechmen: I like u, a lot

Trini: oh

Zack: nOW KISS

Imcrushingonafreshmen: whAT?

Trini: y not?

Imcrushingonafreshmen: …

Trini: I’ll meet u at lunch yeah?

Imcrushingonafreshmen: ...yeah, sure of course

Trini: Cool, see u

**[Trini left {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Zack: Get some Hart!

Imcrushingonafreshmen: Fuck u

**[5:36 pm]**

Imcrushingonafreshmen: Guess who has a girlfriend?! This bitch right here!

**[Zack changed Imcrushingonafreshmen to Taken]**

Taken: That’s right binch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has absolutely no plot, I just wrote this because I am bored.
> 
> Some of this is pre-written so most events might not appear in a logical order (Ex: COVID-19)
> 
> I don't have a schedule for this so I'll just update when I feel like it.


	2. Who invited Spiderman & Co?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Widowmaker: Why was I added?
> 
> Sombra: C’mon chica, give me something to work with
> 
> Widowmaker: I fucked ur pute

**[11:12 am]**

**[Zack added Shego and Kim to {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Shego: y?

**[Taken changed Shego to Kims’ property]**

**[Taken changed Kim to Shegos’ property]**

Kims’ property: How wholesome. What do u think Kimmie?

Shegos’ property: Shego I’m trying to work if u have something important to tell me, ask later

Taken: rekt

**[12:54 am]**

**[Sombra entered {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Sombra: Wazzup pendejos

Tommy: Hi, excuse me, the fuck?

Taken: New phone, who dis?

**[Sombra added Widowmaker to {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Widowmaker: Quoi?

SonBoy: Oh, French

Widowmaker: Why was I added?

Sombra: C’mon chica, give me something to work with

Widowmaker: I fucked ur pute

Sombra: …

Kims’ property: I’m whEEZING

Taken: I am so happy I was here for that

**[Trini entered {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Trini: What happened?

Taken: Scroll up babe

Trini: Oh, lmao

Widowmaker: Désolé, I just finished my work

Taken: What work?

Widowmaker: Ta mère

Zack: The baguette strikes again

Taken: I honestly came out to have a good time but I’m feeling so attacked rn

Widowmaker: u know what else was a good time chérie?

Widowmaker: Sodomising ur mom

Zack: Baguettes going in for the kill

Kims’ property: Take no prisoners baguette

Taken: jokes on u i don’t have a mom

Tommy: yes u do

Taken: fuk

Kims’ property: Holy shit baguette

**[Sombra changed Widowmaker to Spiderman]**

Taken: The evil has been defeated, thank u for ur time

Spiderman: What?

Sombra: Ja Ja Ja

**[Tracer entered {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Zack: How do u motherfuckers keep entering without being invited?

Sombra: Will u put a leash on ur girlfriend?

Tracer: That’s Emilys’ job, Widow and I are free spirits

Taken: read up

Tracer: …

Spiderman: My apologies Lena. I was merely teasing them

Tracer: Love, that’s the best shit I’ve seen all-day

Spiderman: Oh...merci

Taken: Gay

Tommy: Gay

Zack: ur one to talk

**[Sombra changed Spiderman to Gay spider]**

Gay spider: I see ur humor is no better than ur fashion sense

Taken: Baguette is back at it again

**[Tracer added Emily to {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Tracer: Look at our girl go

Emily: Nice, will u two be coming back to help me cook?

Tracer: yep

Gay spider: Of course

Emily: Good

**[Emily left {Kim is a disaster bi}]**

Sombra: How about a little less domesticity

Taken: lol gay

Gay spider: Have u seen yourself?

**[Taken changed Gay spider to Gay tsunami]**

Gay tsunami: y

Taken: excUSE ME. yoU WERE GOING TO SODOmiSE, mY MOM!

**[5:12 am]**

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {Why weren’t u at gay practice?}]**

Gay tsunami: Not this again

Tracer: Amé come back, Em demands cuddles

Gay tsunami: omw

Sombra: ‘Not this again’ She says

Gay tsunami: La ferme petite pute

Taken: The chat name is a big mood

Kims’ property: And holy shit baguette

Gay tsunami: Baguette? Where?

Tracer: ur a baguette

Sombra: Do u shove the baguette up ur ass @Tracer?

Tracer: excuSE ME?

Tracer: The baguETTE IS PROBABLY A BETTER FUCK THAN U

Taken: I’ de fight tbh

Trini: Can u nOT?!!

**[Gay tsunami added Mercy, Pharah, Moira and D/VA to {Why weren’t u at gay practice?}]**

Mercy: y?

Moira: Love the chat name

Mercy: y are u talking about baguettes being shoved up someone’s rear?

Moira: y not?

Mercy: ur sleeping on the couch

Moira: waIT WHAT?

D/VA: get rekt

Pharah: u probably deserved it

**[Sombra changed Mercy to Gay doctor]**

**[Sombra changed Moira to Gay geneticist]**

**[Sombra changed Pharah to Gay rocket]**

**[Emily entered {Why weren’t u at gay practice?}]**

**[Emily changed the chat name to {To whoever stole my tea, ur moms a hoe}]**

Tracer: I didn’t take it

Emily: @Gay tsunami

Gay tsunami: Oui?

Emily: Did u take my tea?

Gay tsunami: Soudainement je ne peux pas lire

Gay tsunami: je n’ai jamais menti de toute ma vie

Gay tsunami: Qu’est ce même un mensonge?

Emily: Answer

Gay tsunami: I plead the fifth

Emily: Amélie Guillard!

Gay rocket: Care to explain y I just saw Widowmaker running across the base while being chased by Emily?

Emily: Lena, make sure that Amélie sleeps on the couch tonight

Tracer: Yes ma’am

**[Emily left {To whoever stole my tea, ur moms a hoe}]**

Taken: Ur girlfriend is scary

Tracer: So is urs

Taken: touché

**[Zack changed Taken to Bi mess]**

Trini: Kim, shut up

Gay tsunami: Je vais allez mourir maintenant, adieu.

**[12:32 pm]**

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {Gay studies}]**

Bi mess: Welcome to gay study

Trini: We’re all children of Sappho

Kims’ property: Kumbaya my lord

Tracer: ok then

Sombra: I am bored today so we’re going to take movie plots and make them gay

Bi mess: I am ready, depressed and sleep-deprived

Tommy: Same

Sombra: the first one is for Kim, Beauty and the beast

Bi mess: The beast was actually a princess but Belle still wants her after she becomes human.

Sombra: u get an A- for that

Sombra: Tracer, IT

Tracer: IT only attacks gay kids, so they kind of just go through the movie figuring out they’re gay while fighting the killer clown

Sombra: A, I would 100% watch that shit

Sombra: Imma give Moira fifty shades of grey

Bi mess: Dude

Tommy: She doesn’t deserve that

Trini: Even I couldn’t make that garbage gay

Gay tsunami: She isn’t responding

Tracer: U broke her

Gay rocket: She’s still typing

Bi mess: Oh god

Sombra: This is gonna be good

Gay geneticist: Grey asks what’s her face (Can’t remember her name) to sign the BDSM thingy but it’s not for him. Turns out it’s for his sister who he thinks is into that kind of stuff. She’s sent to greys sister but, plot twist, the sister isn’t into BDSM. It was all a ploy so that Grey could get his sister a date. The two women eventually start falling in love, with beach strolls and shit.

Gay tsunami: Wow

Bi mess: I need that to be a thing like right now

Sombra: Moira has officially graduated from Gay University with top marks and outstanding grades. She will do wonders in the world in the name of our dear Mistress, Sappho.

Gay geneticist: Yay

Gay rocket: Congrats Habibi, come back to bed. Angie is waiting

Gay geneticist: omw

Bi mess: At least one of us is getting some

Trini: Shut up Hart

**[10:04 am]**

Gay geneticist: @Everyone, I have a problem

**[Gay geneticist blocked Gay rocket and Gay doctor from {Gay studies} for 1:00:00 hour]**

Kim's property: WOw okAY. WHat’s wrONg?

Gay geneticist: It’s going to be our three year anniversary and I want to do something special

Tracer: kk, but y are u telling me this? I know I’m dating Emily and Amélie but that doesn’t mean I know how I did it

Bi mess: First, mood

Kims’ property: Second, just take them out to dinner after a movie, Cupcake loves when I do that

Shegos’ property: Can confirm

D/VA: Then take them to a paintball arena, Angela would like a good romance movie and Fareeha would like a paintball fight

Gay geneticist: thx guys

**[Gay geneticist left {Gay studies}]**

**[Gay tsunami changed the chat name to {Moira is a softie}]**

D/VA: ^ Truth

Tracer: We stan a bi mess

Bi mess: excUSE YOU, I trADMArkED thAT yOU LIttlE BinCH

Gay tsunami: What is it the kids say?

Gay tsunami: bEGONE THOT!

Tracer: ffs Amélie

Gay tsunami: Hey, u were enjoying yourself during our anniversary

Tracer: That’s because u were hammering into my pussy

Gay tsunami: Lena…

Tracer: Em was also sitting on my face so exCUSE YOU

Shegos’ property: TMI bitch

Tommy: Zack and I just got through our Buffy marathon, what happened?

Sombra: Moira is preparing her anniversary with Angela and Fareeha and Lena let Widowmaker fuck her with a strap-on while Emily rode her face

Tommy: Kay, bye

Tracer: For all u know, Widow has a dick

D/VA: Bruh…

MomFriend: What?

Tracer: U heard me

Zack: Huh?

Bi mess: Some peOPLe aRE TRAnS zACK

Zack: Oh yeah…

Gay tsunami: Although u do have a point, Kimberly, I am not Transgender. I informed Moira a while back that I did not feel at home in my body so she gave me something that would shape my body to be the way I wanted it to be and I somehow acquired a penis.

Zack: ...Those r too many words

Bi mess: It’s Moiras’ fault

Zack: Ah

Kims’ property: Oh how science has evolved...Giving dicks to emotionally challenged spiderman impersonators

Gay tsunami: Look at God, giving life to some stupid green arsonist woman who’s incapable of calling her girlfriends by her actual name

Sombra: Local angsty spiderman vs green plasma membrane

Sombra: Local angsty spiderman destroyes green plasma membrane

Kims’ property: …

Kims’ property: Fuck you

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {Local angsty spiderman ftw}]**

**[Kims’ property left {Local angsty spiderman ftw}]**

Tracer: Pussy

Bi mess: u r what u eat

Shegos’ property: Yeah, and she has some eating to get to so bye

**[Shegos’ property went idle]**

Bi mess: A queen honestly

Sombra: we will forever stan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overwatch joins the group, kind of...


	3. Angela needs a break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi mess: Trini u can have my Lexa and Raven Reyes funko pop but give my Wynonna Earp one to Tommy
> 
> Tommy: oop-

**[3:28 am]**

**[Tracer changed the chat name to {Help}]**

Tracer: I need help

Sombra: This sounds fucking familiar

Tracer: Okay so Emily is angry at Amé for something and Widow disappeared along with the Star Wars prequel trilogy and all of my chocolate

Sombra: It’s too early for this

Sombra: I need more coffee

Sombra: ffs

D/VA: Have u asked Emily y she’s mad

Tracer: no

D/VA: Do that. @Emily

**[Emily entered {Help}]**

Tracer: What did Widow do to u?

Emily: She knows what she’s done

Tracer: @Gay tsunami

Gay tsunami: What?

Tracer: What did u do to Em?

Gay tsunami: I left her alone since she didn’t want to see me

Emily: Amé I was sleepy

Gay tsunami: I thought u wanted alone time chérie

Emily: Amélie Guillard, if u don’t get ur delicate ass back here I will burn all of your coffee

Gay tsunami: omw

Bi mess: gay

Zack: Gay

Sombra: Wait, so Emily was sleepy and Widowmaker took it for PMSing and left with movies to watch?

D/VA: Yep

Sombra: Widow u useless woman

Gay tsunami: Useless? I killed Mondatta

Tracer: …

Sombra: I know that u get like a massive hard-on every time u talk about that kill but can u nOT?

Gay tsunami: I do not!

**[Kims’ property entered {Help}]**

Kims’ property: The fuck happened?

Gay tsunami: gtg

Tracer: gtg

Emily: They better be here quick

D/VA: Go back to sleep Sombra

Sombra: Whatever

Kims’ property: Guess I’ll die

**[4:21 pm]**

**[D/VA changed the chat name to {RIP in pieces Amélie Guillard}]**

Trini: What did she do now?

D/VA: So, you know how she was critically injured last mission?

Tracer: Yeah…

D/VA: Yes well, Ana challenged her to a sniping contest

Kims’ property: She accepted?

D/VA: Yeah

Tracer: Who won?

D/VA: They were tied until Emily burst in and scolded them

D/VA: It’s actually funny to see the Widowmaker and the Ana Amari getting yelled at by a civilian

Sombra: Seconded

Gay rocket: Thirded

Gay doctor: Fourthed

Gay geneticist: Fifthed

Bi mess: Sixthed

Zack: Seventhed

Tracer: Since when are you guys on base?

Bi mess: Don’t ask stupid questions

Trini: Why are u there Kim?

Bi mess: Sombra and Hana wanted to play Call of duty WWII so…

Tracer: is Widow okay?

Sombra: She’s currently getting yelled at by Emily as Angela heals her

Tracer: f

D/VA: ^

**[Sombra added Ana Amari to {RIP in pieces Amélie Guillard}]**

**[Ana Amari changed Ana Amari to Ana]**

Ana: Lena, why r u dating such a gay mess?

Gay rocket: Mother…

Ana: Daughter…

Gay doctor: Ana…

Gay geneticist: Angela…

Gay rocket: Moira…

Gay geneticist: Fareeha...

Gay doctor: Couch, both of you

Gay rocket: Worth it

Gay geneticist: Worth it

Ana: And u are?

Gay Geneticist: Moira O’Deorain, first of her name, former member of Blackwatch and master of this small but very present ass

Ana: I like her

D/VA: Ana...Approved?

Sombra: Well shit I was hoping for some drama

Emily: Amélie is currently sleeping so do keep the drama to a minimum

Tracer: Sleep dart?

Ana: Sleep dart

Sombra: f

Kims’ property: f

**[Sombra changed Ana to One-eyed willy]**

D/VA: u just can’t stop yourself can u?

Gay tsunami: Hon hon hon

Tracer: Did @Emily let u go?

Emily: :^)

Emily: I will find you

Bi mess: Giggity

Gay tsunami: merde

Tommy: mood

**[Gay tsunami went idle]**

One-eyed willy: RIP

One-eyed willy: that is what the kids say right?

Tommy: yeah

**[Emily went idle]**

Trini: RIIIP

**[2:23 am]**

D/VA: Guys, its been hours, where is she?

Gay doctor: Who?

Tommy: Amélie

Tracer: You’re back

Gay doctor: She went on a vacation in Spain with Jesse, Genji, and Kimberly

D/VA: Isn’t she wanted there?

Tracer: Compare to Emilys’ rath that’s nothing

Trini: wait what is Kim doing there?

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {Where is Widowmaker?}]**

**[Tommy changed the chat name to {Who is Widowmaker?}]**

**[Zack changed the chat name to {Why is Widowmaker?}]**

**[Sombra added Jesse, Genji, and Hanzo to {Why is Widowmaker?}]**

Genji: I need healing

Gay doctor: Stop

Jesse: I neED HEALING

Gay tsunami: I require healing

Bi mess: heALING!!

**[Gay doctor left {Why is Widowmaker?}]**

Zack: y r u joining in Kim?

Bi mess: I bonded with them and they are now my brothers so I shall help them

Genji: thx bro

Jesse: we love u too bro

Bi mess: that’s deep bro

Tommy: Giggity

Bi mess: shut up

Emily: Widow, I am currently in Spain. Where r u?

Gay tsunami: They always ask where is Widowmaker but never how is Widowmaker

Sombra: bitch u literally have no emotions I can’t

Gay geneticist: technically she still has some form of feelings

Sombra: irrelevant

Emily:...

Emily: When I find you, you can say goodbye to that extra appendage of yours

**[Emily went idle]**

Bi mess: amélIE RUN BITCH!!!

Jesse: Did she just threaten to cut off a part of your body

Sombra: Dude…

Trini: She’s not going to seriously cut off your dick right. According to Kim it hurts enough just being kicked

Genji: Nani the fuck?

Kims’ property: They don’t know

Sombra: Right, well Widow has a dick courtesy of Moira and I guess Kim is a trans woman and hasn’t gotten bottom surgery or smth?

Bi mess: Yeah, essentially

Genji: Neat

Jesse: Cool, we are a very accepting group so I don’t really mind as long as you aren’t a piece of shit

Bi mess: Thx bro

Bi mess: Even if u didn’t accept me Trini would have kicked ur ass

Trini: Straight up

Zack: We love a supportive gf

Sombra: Aww, how cute...Moving on

D/VA: r we forgetting the fact that Widow might get her dick cut off?

Jesse: Oh shit

Bi mess: rip

Genji: Fuck

**[Gay tsunami went idle]**

**[Jesse went idle]**

Sombra: What happened?

Genji: She’s here

**[Genji went idle]**

Bi mess: Trini u can have my Lexa and Raven Reyes funko pop but give my Wynonna Earp one to Tommy

**[Bi mess went idle]**

Tommy: oop-

D/VA: Wow

**[Tracer changed the chat name to {My girlfriend killed our girlfriend}]**

Sombra: press f to pay respect

D/VA: f

Trini: f

Zack: f

Tommy: f

Hanzo: f

Gay rocket: f

Gay geneticist: f

Kims’ property: fffff

**[Gay doctor entered {My girlfriend killed our girlfriend}]**

Genji: I need healing

Gay tsunami: I need healing

Jesse: I require healing

Gay tsunami: Sauve-Moi

Bi mess: You’re a doctor no? Heal me

Jesse: Heal

Genji: me

Gay tsunami: heALING

Bi mess: GImME tHE HEAlinG

Jesse: I REQUire heaLING

Genji: Angela

Gay tsunami: Dr. Ziegler

Jesse: Mercy

Bi mess: moMMY

**[Gay doctor left {My girlfriend killed our girlfriend}]**

Tracer: babe, r u okay?

Gay tsunami: All my appendages are still in place so yes

Emily: Come home, both of you

Trini: Can I still have the Lexa funko pop?

Bi mess: ¯\\_ **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)---⇒ “No”**

**[Gay tsunami went idle]**

**[Emily went idle]**

**[Tracer went idle]**

Sombra: On other news, Moira is being chased by Angela

D/VA: So nothing new?

Bi mess: lmao

Sombra: Amélie is a riot

Gay rocket: true, but I admire her determination

Sombra: Wut?

Gay rocket: She and Kim successfully went through my entire training regiment twice before collapsing

Trini: wHAT?

**[Bi mess went idle]**

Trini: Hol up, I’m gonna go confront a binch


	4. Get rekt n00b

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay tsunami: what does that mean?
> 
> Bi mess: u’ll figure it out
> 
> Bi mess: Gotta take out whatever is plugging ur hose if u know what I mean

**[12:53 am]**

**[Fuckmetoheal entered {My girlfriend killed our girlfriend}]**

Fuckmetoheal: why is it so quiet

Fuckmetoheal: Why are you like this?

A quickie: We waited for hours but it was worth it

Copper crotch: Nice going Sombra

Ghost sex: (¬‿¬)

Buns of steel: I am uncomfortable

Balls balls balls: It’s still kind of funny

Big dick energy: …

Big dick energy: Why?

The power bottom: huh?

The service top: I’m okay with this

The power bottom: Shut up Kim

Copper crotch: Widow, this copper crotch needs assistance

Big dick energy: Tracer and I are on our way

Sombras’ eater: Wait...

**[Big dick energy went idle]**

**[Copper crotch went idle]**

**[A quickie went idle]**

Shegos’ twunk: …

Shegos’ twunk: I thought this was only used for gay guys?

Kims’ twunk: Not today cupcake

Ghost sex: u going to say hi to ur mom Fareeha?

Buns of steel: Not with that username

MILF: coward

**[4:23 pm]**

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {You bitch}]**

Bi mess: what happened

Sombra: Moira

Bi mess: Okay lol

Big dick energy: She forgot Angelas’ birthday

Big dick energy: why is that still my name?

Sombra: sry

**[Sombra changed Big dick energy to One fuck one kill]**

One fuck one kill: I hate you petite pute

Sombra: Okay amiga, calmate

One fuck one kill: I am a chat monitor

Bi mess: Yeah, my bad

One fuck one kill: I will use my powers

Sombra: lol kk

**[7:36 pm]**

I need fucking: Hello

I need fucking: very funny Widowmaker

One fuck one kill: right?

Fuck this: …

Fuck this: Real creative

The fuckery is here: That’s funny

Emily: I am...Fine?

Justice rains from my ass: y?

Gay geneticist: lol, Angela

Hoes never die: What is it?

Sombra: Dios Mio

A beanie with a personality: lmFAO

I need fucking: LMAO

A bisexual: sDASFDGFHGJHK

The fuckery is here: Best day of my life

Fuck this: omg, I needed this

Hoes never die: Moira

Gay geneticist: wasn’t me

One fuck one kill: it was I

Stand still so I can fuck you: What about me

Justice rains from my ass: Mother y?

Emily: Jesus, I think I just lost a lung

**[4:02 am]**

Gay tsunami: …

Gay tsunami: Tout est normal, bien

Gay tsunami: @Gay geneticist, @Bi mess

Gay geneticist: Yeah?

Bi mess: Sup

Gay tsunami: It’s about my newly acquired appendage

Bi mess: u know u can just say dick right?

Gay tsunami: Id rather not

Gay tsunami: But I’ve been waking up with a strange situation…

Gay tsunami: It...Stands up so to speak

Gay geneticist: u mean morning wood?

Gay tsunami: Je suppose

Bi mess: That’s common, don’t worry about it

Gay tsunami: ok, how do I get rid of it

Gay geneticist: u can’t stop it from happening, but not touching it at night might help? idk

Gay tsunami: that is complicated

Gay geneticist: y

Gay tsunami: If u haven’t noticed my girlfriends have a hard time keeping their hands to themselves

Gay geneticist: ...I can’t help u

**[Gay geneticist went idle]**

  
  


Gay tsunami: merde

Bi mess: well, all I can say is that it’s better to get everything out

Gay tsunami: what does that mean?

Bi mess: u’ll figure it out

Bi mess: Gotta take out whatever is plugging ur hose if u know what I mean

**[Gay tsunami went idle]**

D/VA: Does she think this is a private chat?

Sombra: prob

Emily: is that y she’s been getting up early to take a shower

Sombra: right

Sombra: “Shower”

Bi mess: I mean, she could go to a sex club

Emily: no

Bi mess: Go big or go home

MomFriend: please for once in your life go home

Zack:

**[Bi mess went idle]**

MomFriend: kIM!!

Emily: Amélie, come home

Gay tsunami: Kimberly and I shall go big

Emily: Lena?

Tracer: yes

Emily: Get her

**[Tracer went idle]**

Gay tsunami: Putain

**[Gay tsunami went idle]**

Sombra: u ok with this?

Emily: ¯\\_(ಠ_ಠ)_/¯

D/VA: mood

Kims’ property: améLIE GUILLARD

Gay tsunami: first, thank u for spelling my name correctly

Gay tsunami: Secondly, what?

Kims’ property: I heard you and Hart are running away from ur girlfriends, I want in

Sombra: What did u do to Kim this time?

Kims’ property: :/

Gay tsunami: je t’attendrai

Kims’ property: Merci

**[Gay tsunami went idle]**

**[Kims’ property left {You bitch}]**

D/VA: Widow is such a chaotic gay

Shegos’ property: Where did they go?

Bi mess: We’re in India

Bi mess: oops

Sombra: oOPS??!??!

Bi mess:

Zack: I can’t believe u just outed urself like that

Sombra: Sucks to suck

D/VA: ^

**[11:58 am]**

**[Bi mess changed the chat name to {Amelie went to India}]**

Tracer: I can’t believe Satya took Widows’ side

Gay tsunami: She sees injustice

**[Gay tsunami added Satya]**

Satya: Hello.

Sombra: Wow okay

**[Sombra left {Amelie went to India}]**


	5. Rip Kim and Widowmaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack: and this is why you don't do school, stay in milk, get 8 hours of drugs and drink a glass of sleep kids

**[9:24 pm]**

Im blue: @Sombra

**[Sombra entered {Amelie went to India}]**

Sombra: Que?

Gottagofast: What is this?

Nyancat: bb y do you do this?

Sombra: my business is my business

Sombra: unless ur my thong don’t be up my ass

Im blue: je vais te tué

SherunlikeNarutowithhandsbacc: Not if I get her first

Sombra: Calmate, turn ur phone off and everything will reset

Gottagofast: I hope so

**[9:26 pm]**

Fish n’ chips: Hey

Fish n’ chips: Sombra :(

Honhonhon: (^ಠ_ಠ)>︻╦╤─

Fish n’ chips: I mean, she could have put baguettes

K-pop: Tru

Fish n’ chips: ur ok with urs?

K-pop: could be worse

Tacos: We’re both Mexican u son of a bitch

Tikka masala: I’m surprised u spelled it right

Sombra: rude

Sombra: also fuck off Trini I know

Tacos: whatever pendeja

Lucky drunk: y are u like this

Walk like an Egyptian: lol

Lucky drunk: I’m going to kill u Sombra

Sombra: do it u won’t

Lucky drunk: **╭∩╮( ͡° ل͟ ͡° )╭∩╮** fuck u

Swisscheese: Why are you like this

Lucky drunk: beat u to it

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {All Irish r drunk}]**

Iwantedtobeacowboii: What is the chat name?

Walk like an Egyptian: The ruth

K-pop: lmao ruth

Sombra: ruth

Fish n’ chips: ruth

Vishnuindahouse: What happened?

Honhonhon: I don’t want to point fingers but…

Honhonhon: @Sombra

Sombra: Wow okay

Sombra: fake-ass friends

Sombra: Y’all r snakes

Sombra: Bye, I have better things to do than talking to snAKES

Hentai: hiss hiss bitch

Fish n’ chips: Oh my god

**[Sombra added Reaper to {All Irish r drunk}]**

**[Sombra changed Reaper to Mi torta]**

Mi torta: Sombra…

Tacos: join the Mexicans binch

Sombra: I knew I crashed ur chat for a reason amiga

Copper crotch: wow

**[12:48 pm]**

**[Kims’ property entered {Doomfist me Papi}]**

Kims’ property: what happened here?

Honhonhon: u dont want to know

Kims’ property: Amélie?

Kims’ property: Les français ne rient même pas comme ça

Sombra: hmm, hon hon oui oui baguette croissant

Bi mess: titty croissant

D/VA: tiTTY CROISSANT?

Honhonhon: I hate all of u

**[Gay doctor changed the chat name to {Amelie ate baguettes stuffed with fries}]**

Bi mess: **B̷̮̹̋͐R̴̙̒I̵̻̫͋́̆̎̐ͅN̵̙̣̈́͑̉̒͘͜G̵̦̯̱̬̾̾͊͛ ̸̙̬̮̚͜M̴̦͗̌͐̌E̸̦͇̫̾̚ ̸̞̆̓̈́̕͝M̴̞̠̦̱̣̌̌͐̌O̸͚̹̝̼͎̍R̶͚͖͌̎E̷͙̻̰̖͈̾̌͝ ̸̫̜̿P̷̢͉͚̜̭͑̍̕A̷̗͂Ş̵͙͂T̸͇̮̺͚͐̽͌̇Ą̴̫̅̆̈́**

Sombra: Excuse me, the fuck?

Gay doctor: You read that correctly, also

Gay doctor: Are u okay Kim?

Bi mess: Mayhaps

Trini: u can get more pasta from the kitchen Kim, I left it in the pot on the stove

Bi mess: thx

Kims’ property: How could you Amélie?

Honhonhon: Lena made me do it

Kims’ property: fair

**[5:27 am]**

Ana: Not to be rude but…

Ana: Amelie! What THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!!

Gay tsunami: huh?

Ana: WHY IS EVERYTHING PINK???!!1

Gay tsunami: It wasn’t me

Gay tsunami: Ask Genji

Genji: Ask Kim

Bi mess: Ask Amelie

Ana: I will find you all and I will kill you

**[Ana went idle]**

Bi mess: no

**[Genji went idle]**

Bi mess: She’s bluffing

Gay tsunami: hel

**[Gay tsunami went idle]**

Bi mess: She’s bluffing

Bi mess: She’s just an old lady

Bi mess: Trini?

Bi mess: I hear footsteps

Bi mess: Habibi help me

Bi mess: My will is in the bottom drawer

**[Bi mess went idle]**

Zack: and this is why you don't do school, stay in milk, get 8 hours of drugs and drink a glass of sleep kids

**[8:54 am]**

Gay doctor: What happened?

Ana: Justice has been served

Tracer: Wheres Amé?

Ana: She’s down in the gym thinking about what she’s done

Trini: Ana

Ana: yes?

Trini: did u seriously throw Amélie, Genji, and my girlfriend in a crocodile-infested pool?

Trini: wiTH BARBED WIRES AROUND TH EPOOL????!?!??!?

Ana: Sounds about right

Tracer: AméLIE LOST TWO FINGERS ANA! TWO!!

Ana: oh…

Trini: and KIM WAS SCRATCHED IN THE FACE

Ana: That doesn’t sound so bad

Trini: IT BIT HER EAR OFF YOU DUMB FUCK

Gay doctor: Ana, what the fuck

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {RIP Widowmaker and Kim}]**

Genji: I’m fine

Bi mess: I’m not

Zack: f

MomFriend: f

Sombra: f

Tommy: f

Kims’ property: hi, what the fuck

D/VA: read up

Kim’s property: Ana what the fuck?

**[Ana left {RIP Widowmaker and Kim}]**

SonBoy: Is this seriously Overwatch?

Gay doctor: This chat was a mistake

Bi mess: yall crashed our chat so this is on u

Tracer: So...Widow ran away again

Sombra: ffs

Bi mess: She’s meditating with Zenyatta

Gay tsunami: u suck Hart

Bi mess: At this point, ur mother should have swallowed

Gay tsunami:

Sombra:

D/VA: y the sudden use of memes

Kims’ property: how did they recover so fast

Tommy: U overestimate Kims’ ability to give a fuck

Kims’ property: ah

Zack: Lmao, rip Widowmaker indeed

Gay tsunami: I will shoot you.

Bi mess: If you held any power here, I would maybe consider what you said.

Gay tsunami:

Sombra: Idk im loving this

Bi mess: fight me n00b I dare u

Gay tsunami: (^ಠ_ಠ)>︻╦╤─

Gay doctor: who took my chocolate?

Sombra: Moira

Genji: Moira

Jesse: Moira

Bi mess: def Moira

Gay geneticist: no

Gay rocket: she didn’t

Gay tsunami:...

Gay doctor: Amelie?

Gay tsunami: bye

Gay doctor: Amelie!!!!

Bi mess: Horses

Sombra: huh?

Bi mess: I thought we were naming things that were faster than Angela

Zack: is she fucking high rn or smth?

Gay geneticist:

Bi mess: lmao

D/VA: Moira is the best

Gay rocket: can confirm

**[Gay doctor left {RIP Widowmaker and Kim}]**

Kims’ property: pussy

Shegos’ property: u r what u eat

Kims’ property:...I love u

Shegos’ property: I love u too Shego

**[Gay tsunami went idle]**

**[11:09 am]**

Gay geneticist: Holy SHIT!!

Kims’ property: whut happened?

Gay geneticist: Someone yeeted a tree at Widowmaker

Shegos’ property: Hasn’t the poor woman gone through enough?

Sombra: Nah

Shegos’ property: She’s been tortured, brainwashed, and forced to kill her husband by some David Bowie impersonator. Lost two fingers because of some hotshot sniper who is too scared to tell her husband that she is alive and is now dating and living with a British woman who is constantly on sugar high and some psychotic ginger who won’t let her walk outside alone.

Tracer:...

Emily:...

Gay geneticist:...

Ana:...

Tommy: And I fucking oop

Genji: and that’s the tea **ŝ̪̳͔͚͚̪̣̱̩̌͑̑͠î̶̛̜̠̯̝͚͙̺̬͔̺̆̌͋̇̑̕͘͝s̶̜̖̳̠͕͙͚̩̫̃̽̕̕͡͡**

  
  


Sombra:

Trini: On other news, Kims’ mom went with her to her doctors’ appointment

Zack: Oh shit, what happened

Trini: Idk but Kim looks like she saw a ghost

Bi mess:

**[Bi mess left {RIP Widowmaker and Kim}]**

Tommy: bet she spent all that time looking for this meme

Zack: bet that she already had it saved in her phone

Genji: That’s so sad, Alexa play despacito

MomFriend: can u guys shut up? Im trying to concentrate but my phone keeps vibrating

**[Bi mess entered {RIP Widowmaker and Kim}]**

Bi mess:

Trini: Kim, are you okay?

Bi mess:

D/VA: rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the suffering continues for Widowmaker and Kim


	6. Wingmen in action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trini: no
> 
> Bi mess: What kind of lesbian would u be if u don't have a cat?
> 
> Trini: no

**[6:16 am]**

**[Tracer created a chat with Gay tsunami, Emily and fifteen others]**

**[Tracer change the chat name to {Widow is gay}]**

Gay tsunami: what?

Tracer: u like Satya

Gay tsunami: we’re friends

Tracer:

Gay doctor: Amelie, do u like Symmetra?

Gay tsunami: perhaps

Lucio: oh my god

D/VA: she admitted it

Emily: good, ask her out then

Winston: I cannot believe you created a chat just for that purpose.

Tracer: it be like that sometimes

**[{Let Kim have a dog}]**

Bi mess: all im saying is that a dog brings people together

Trini: we are not getting a dog and that’s final

Gay tsunami: u done?

Bi mess: y?

Tracer: shes gonna ask Satya out

Bi mess: sPOiLEr mAN

Gay tsunami: @Satya

Satya: Yes?

Gay tsunami: will u go on a date with me?

Satya: Of course, when?

Gay tsunami: is tomorrow at 7 alright?

Satya: it is.

Gay tsunami: Magnifique <3

Satya: <3

**[Satya left {Let Kim have a dog}]**

Sombra: Fucking superb u funky little pansexual

**[12:05 pm]**

**[Sombra added Satya to {Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Sombra: ur back right? How was it? Wheres Amelie?

Satya: Amelie is currently resting but the evening was highly enjoyable.

Sombra: u had sex didn’t u

Satya: No, Amelie is tired because she spent an hour playing dance dance revolution to get enough tickets to offer me a giant penguin plushy that I had my eyes on.

Tracer: that’s our Ame

Brigitte: Amelie? My father has your fingers ready, u can come to the armory to collect them

Gay tsunami: of course, thank you

Sombra: Booooring

**[{Let Kim have a cat}]**

Bi mess: Come on Trini

Trini: no

Bi mess: What kind of lesbian would u be if u don't have a cat?

Trini: no

Sombra: Kim wants a cat?

Zack:

Zack: wait…

Zack:

Trini: u should already know that I’m always right

Bi mess: This is bi erasure

Bi mess: Hol up I got one

Bi mess:

Zack: u arent even ace

Bi mess: Still

Genji: Ayyy, asexual gang

SonBoy: Ayyyyy

Sombra: nothing fun is happening

Gay tsunami: I need assistance

Kims’ property: spoke too soon

Gay tsunami: I broke Emilys’ teacup

Bi mess: rip

Emily: I will kill u

**[Emily went idle]**

Bi mess: legit forgot that she was on this chat

Sombra: It’s always the same with u three

Tracer: let me live

**[Satya entered {Let Kim have a cat}]**

Satya: Amelie is currently with me. I would mind your step, Emily.

Emily: I understand but she must be punished

Satya: Rest assured she will be sleeping on the couch for a week.

Emily: Acceptable, tell her to get ready for our date

Satya: Of course.

Sombra: that is the most sophisticated conversation I’ve ever seen on the chat

**[Gay tsunami changed the chat name to {I’m dating 3 women}]**

Genji: im a little jealous ngl

Gay doctor: Moira Kamehamehad the wall

Gay doctor: then she naruto runned away

SonBoy: what happened to this chat?

**[11:59 pm]**

Tommy: Hakuna Matata

Bi mess: What a wonderful phrase

Kims’ property: Hakuna Matata

Zack: Ain’t no passin’ craze

Bi mess: It means no worries, for the rest of ur days

Gay tsunami It’s our problem-free

Kims’ property: Philosophy

Bi mess: Hakuna Matata

Tommy: we have achieved our goal and made this chat Disney trash

Tommy: meet in the break room at 0800 hours

**[Bi mess change the chat name to {Disney trash}]**

Kims’ property: get rid of the evidence

Bi mess: of course

**[Bi mess deleted {Disney trash}]**

**[{Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Kims’ property: what the fuck Kim?

Bi mess: fuck off

**[6:27 am]**

**[{Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Winston: Why is there a picture of Rafiki in the break room?

Sombra: que?

Emily: it was Widow

Gay tsunami: Et tu brute?

Shegos’ property: I will kill u Shego

Kims’ property: I didn’t do it, I swear

Gay tsunami: hmm… the lady doth protest too much

Sombra: calm down Shakspeare

Bi mess: no no no, Shaksqueer

Trini: Shego told Kims brothers that they were like Timon and Pumba

Shegos’ property: They won’t stop singing can u feel the love tonight whenever Shego enters the room I’m in

Trini: I probably have too many regrets considering my young age

Kims’ property: lol, okay mom


	7. What do you do when you're stuck in a room?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy: let’s go blast Evanescence
> 
> Bi mess: that’s a horrible idea onward men

**[6:12 am]**

**[Gay tsunami created {Chat}]**

**[Gay tsunami added Kims’ property, Bi mess, and 4 others to {Chat}]**

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Bi mess: noice

Tracer: noice

Tommy: noice

Kims’ property: noice

**[Emily created the chat {Tea lesbians}]**

**[Emily added Satya, Shegos’ property, and 2 others to {Tea lesbians}]**

Satya: I like the name.

Emily: Thx

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Tracer: so...What now?

Bi mess: Idk man, Tommys’ cat stole my fucking pizza roll and my duolingo notifications are blowing up my phone

Bi mess: its all like Spanish or vanish

Tommy: my cat is perfect so stfu Kim

Zack: I was going to make a pussy joke but nvm

Tracer: Aww, ur learning Spanish for Trini

Sombra: the duolingo bird is Thanos confirmed

Bi mess: The human body has around 95 to 100 billion nerve cells and Duolingo has a tendency to get on every single one of mine.

Tommy: let’s go blast Evanescence

Bi mess: that’s a horrible idea onward men

**[{Don’t touch Kim’s Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Kims’ property: Wake me up!

Bi mess: Wake me up inside!

Tommy: Can’t wake up!

Tracer: Wake me up inside!

Zack: sAVe mEEE!!!!!

Trini: Actually stop

Emily: I can hear Evanescence from here...

**[Emily went idle]**

Gay tsunami: again?

Bi mess: I will protect u brother

Kims’ property: same

Gay tsunami: merci mes camarades

Sombra: Can the brotherhood chill out?

Bi mess: La fraternité built this country binch

Tracer: hey lesbians, whats that typical straight guy thing u do that u pull off way better than any guy? Mine is sitting with my legs far apart

Kims’ property: Sleeping in boxers

Bi mess: Loving and caring for women

Zack: hello 911? I have just witnessed a murder

Kims’ property: rip straight men

Bi mess: men r weird

MomFriend: huh?

Zack: No yeah, I agree

Lucio: seconded

Sombra: si

D/VA: yeah, take Mcree for example

D/VA: Im sure that at some point Hanzo has woken up in the middle of the night hissing “j e s s e” and turned around and found Jesse outside trying to deepthroat a snake

Bi mess: Poor snek

Shegos’ property:

Gay doctor: Hanzo has developed a sixth sense for when Jesse does any dumb shit

Jesse: rude

**[11:46 am]**

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Sombra: Guys, where r u?

Kims’ property: we’re locked in a room

Zack: y r u guys locked in a room?

Bi mess: r u not?

Zack: no im with Tommy at McDonald’s

Gay tsunami: we’re all in the same room, y are we texting?

Bi mess: says the one responding with a text

Sombra: get rekt

Sombra: I'm watching through the cameras so don't fuck each other or whatever

Sombra: what do yall have on you?

Gay tsunami: a computer and my phone

Tracer: unpoped popcorn

Kims’ property: My plasma powers

Bi mess: porn

Sombra: what?

Bi mess: A USB filled with porn

Tommy: disappointed but not surprised

Tracer: What kind?

Bi mess: the authentic lesbian kind that you need to pay to see

Zack: how convenient

Sombra: ok, Shego heat up the popcorn, Kim plug the USB into Widows computer

Kims’ property: r we doing what I think we’re doing?

Sombra: Watching porn while enjoying popcorn? Hell yeah

Tracer: Nice

Tommy: wish I was there ngl

Zack: same

**[{Tea lesbians}]**

Emily: guys

Satya: What?

Emily: there r noises coming from the room we locked them in

D/VA: oh my god they’re fucking each other

**[Satya went idle]**

Emily: there she goes

D/VA: She’s opening the door

Trini: wut?

Satya: They were watching porn, the sounds were from that.

Shegos’ property: rly?

**[{Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Lucio: I can’t believe u would do that

Genji: rly guys?

Bi mess: Hey, good lesbian is good lesbian porn

Gay rocket: tight

Gay doctor: Fareeha!

Gay geneticist: she’s right

Gay doctor: I’m done

Reinhardt: HI DONE, IM REINHARDT!

Gay doctor: …

Bi mess:

Gay doctor: Oh Mein Fucking Gott

Sombra: ragebirdmom mode activated

Bi mess: Not to completely disregard Angela’s suffering but I’m having a moment

D/VA: wdym?

Bi mess:

Zack: Only lesbians will understand

Trini: You can't hear me right now, but I'm sighing.

Kims’ property: I’m a PROFESSIONAL LESBIAM

Bi mess: YEaH

Tommy: Says the bisexual

Sombra: I feel like bi people say “I’m gay” more than gay people

Trini: with Kim yeah, idk about other bisexuals

Bi mess:

MomFriend: Please stop

Genji: you guys r wild

Zack: tru, Kim is just worse than most of us

Bi mess: News flash Zack

Bi mess: The butthole does not lubricate itself

Sombra:

Kims’ property: THe bUTtHolE DOeS nOT luBRIcaTE iTSelF

MomFriend: it doesn’t?

Bi mess:

Tommy:

Zack:

Zack: Hey Kim, look at what I found

Zack:

Bi mess:

Tommy:

Sombra: do u just have these memes ready to go?

Bi mess:

Zack: nice

Sombra: I hate u

Bi mess: Wow

Bi mess: didn’t I let you watch my expensive lesbian porn with me?

Bi mess: fake-ass friend

MomFriend: …

Gay tsunami: she ain’t wrong

Kims’ property: I thought we were blood sisters

Bi mess: u were my sister from a different mister

Sombra: omfg Kim I’m sorry

Sombra: I would never let down my brother from a different mother

Bi mess: I know u aren’t trying to misgender me so im gonna let it slide

Sombra: oh shit sorry

Bi mess: It’s cool, u wanna watch Thor Ragnarok?

Sombra: im always a slut for Cate Blanchett

Zack: im coming too but lets put the volume on max to piss of Trini

Tommy: that’s a horrible idea, what time?

Bi mess: 8 pm be there or be square

Zack: **( ͡° ͜? ͡°)**

Sombra: tf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm projecting because I've been listening to Evanescence on repeat for the past week :/


	8. Maybe she snapped?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily: DOUBLE-DOUBLE TOIL AND TROUBLE I'LL HAMMER YOUR BONES INTO RUBBLE
> 
> Bi mess: mom im scared, come pick me up

**[10:32 pm]**

Bi mess: Guys

Bi mess: Trini is so hot

Kims’ property: we been knew dumbass

Zack: Don’t mind her, she’s drunk

Bi mess: You know why I am drinking so much?

Sombra: y

Bi mess: Because Trinis’ hot and I am g a y.

D/VA: mood

Tracer: what do u do during ur sleepovers?

Zack: we only follow rule 4 during our sleepovers

Gay geneticist: what is rule 4?

Zack: No deaths

Kims’ property: I can get behind that rule

Sombra: what r the other rules?

Zack: don’t know don’t care

Bi mess: cAN NOT COMPUTE

Zack: she drank waaayy too much

Emily: maybe u should stop drinking Kim

Bi mess: Processing request…

Bi mess: No

Sombra: oof

Emily: Kim

Emily: DOUBLE-DOUBLE TOIL AND TROUBLE I'LL HAMMER YOUR BONES INTO RUBBLE

Bi mess: mom im scared, come pick me up

Gay rocket: Dear Allah, please have a little mercy on our sanities.

Sombra: Allah just called, he says no.

Tommy:

Gay doctor: leave my baby alone you overgrown purple gremlin

D/VA: At least the purple gremlin gets fucked

Bi mess: Wanky

Zack: okay Santana Lopez

Gay doctor: Excuse me Dorito gremlin but I have two service top gfs who r willing to eat me out any day of the week so shut the fuck up

Bi mess:

Gay rocket: Oh beautiful maiden, do not say such vulgar things.

Sombra: *Vomits in spanish*

Tracer: I am so shooketh right now.

Gay doctor: Cry me a river sonic reject

Tracer:

Gay tsunami: Angela, would u like some ice cream?

Gay doctor: Read the next text carefully

Gay doctor: No

Gay tsunami: touché

Gay doctor: Die mad about it

Gay tsunami:

Emily: Why so edgy?

Gay doctor: I didn’t get a Ph.D. in kindness, or a Masters in consideration.

Emily: I want that on my grave

Emily: Also

Emily:

Gay doctor: Stop it with the meme!

Trini:

Gay doctor: *throws a facehugger at you*

Zack:

Gay doctor: *Brandishes a nutcracker*

Trini: O_o

Trini: IMMA DIE HELP!

Gay doctor: heroes never die bitch

Trini: I mean, to be fair im not part of Overwatch

Satya: Okay folks, the show is over, go home.

Sombra: huh, Satya made a joke

Satya: That is not funny.

Sombra: ur eyes deceive u, there is no joke

Satya: I came out to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now.

D/VA: Where did u learn to meme Satya?

Satya: Don’t ask questions your not ready to hear the answer to.

Gay rocket:

Satya: (눈_눈 )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one this time because I ran out of energy.


	9. Is pbj a salad? Discuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi mess: wait, starfish have mouths in the middle of their bodies right?
> 
> Tracer: ye
> 
> Bi mess: mermaids use them as bras

**[7:36 am]**

Bi mess: hi bitch

Bi mess: bet u thought you’d seen the last of me

Trini: Kim, I love u but please shut up

Bi mess: triple kill my heart, soul, and body.

Kims’ property: yall r so extra

Gay geneticist: aren’t u the one who took ur girlfriend on an all-expense-paid three-week vacation to Vegas? Just because?

Kims’ property: irrelevant

Tracer: my gfs tried to kill each other

Shegos’ property: I used to fight my gf for a living

Trini: I though my gf was straight until I saw a picture of her making out with her old friend...And all the sexts they sent each other

Zack: Amanda?

Trini: Amanda

Bi mess: I work my ass off all day for my family and this is what I come home to? Depression?!

Sombra: what the fuck is e v e n h a p p e n I n g

SonBoy: Edit to log. Social experiment day 452: people are exhausting.

Genji: yeah

Jesse: True

Sombra: yall r still here?

Ana: yep

Gay doctor: I see you’re all using your fingers for something besides fucking ur bitch

Gay tsunami: YOU KNOW I HAVE TRAUMATIC MEMORIES ALREADY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I FEEL SO BETRAYED

Gay rocket: (⚆ _ ⚆)

Bi mess: wait guys, peanut butter and jelly sandwich is a salad

Genji: Nani the fuck?

Tommy:

Bi mess: Bread comes from plants, peanuts come from plants, jelly and jams are basically just squashed plants. Therefore, PBJ is a salad.

Trini: my girlfriend is an idiot

Satya: Do cure her Dr. Ziegler, please.

Gay doctor: I am not a miracle worker, there is no cure for stupidity.

Zack: That’s still probably the smartest thing Kim has ever said

Bi mess: It looks like the only casualty of this ordeal is me yet again

Bi mess: I mean physically I seem all right but mentally I’ve been through war

Gay tsunami: oh non

Bi mess: Bitch I will murder u

Tacer: dont u dare hurt her!

Bi mess: watch me binch

Tracer: Hypothetically, would you guys care if I killed someone?

Bi mess: Hypothetically would it be self-defense if the person trying to kill me attacked first and I attack 2nd?

Gay doctor: HYPOTHETICALLY I WILL MURDER YOU TWO IF YOU HYPOTHETICALLY SAY HYPOTHETICALLY AGAIN!!1

Bi mess:

Tracer:

Trini: who took my beanie?

Zack: not it

MomFriend: not it

SonBoy: not it

Tommy: not it

Bi mess: fuk

Trini: Kim what did u do?

Bi mess: I didn’t do anything

Zack: The gay lie is so strong.

Tracer: So much gay lie.

Sombra: Gayness cannot conceal the lie.

Bi mess: Fine, I put them in the washing machine but accidentally put a red sock in so now all your beanies r pink

Trini: accIDENTLY?

Bi mess: I was curious

MomFriend: u spelled stupid wrong

Bi mess: Zack wanted to see what would happen

Zack: rly Kim?

Bi mess: I mean, at this point in our friendship, u should have expected me to fuck up so badly that it would affect u

Zack: touché

Satya: Why do you date her Trini?

Trini: it’s one of those things where I love her, but it makes me question my life decisions

Satya: I know the feeling.

**[10:47 pm]**

Bi mess: guys, my ex called me

Zack: Amanda or Ty

Bi mess: Amanda

Zack: ah

Trini: what did that puta say to you?

Bi mess: Well first she called me, I didn’t answer

Sombra: good move

Bi mess: so she texts me “I called” and I said “Yeah, I watched the phone ring”

Kims’ property: brutal

Bi mess: so she asks me to get back together so I send back “I once thought you took my breath away, but my friends made me realize something. I realized I was just choking on your bullshit.”

Zack:

Bi mess: then I explained to her in detail how I made Trini cum with my fingers last night

Kims’ property:

Bi mess: so yeah, how was your afternoon?

Sombra:

Trini: istg every day I love and hate you more and more

Bi mess: u want sex?

Trini: ye

Bi mess: cool, where r u?

Trini: im at the cliff

Bi mess: be there in fifteen

Trini: make that ten and ill give u head

Bi mess:

Bi mess: I need to send this one sry

Bi mess:

Trini: god I love her

Zack: Blocked, all of you are blocked. None of you are free of sin.

**[9:01 am]**

Bi mess: global warming can suck my dick

Sombra: well global warming can suck MY nonexistent dick

D/VA: big mood

Bi mess: do u think they serve caffeine in IV drips?

Kims’ property: Won’t u look at that, the probability of an accident occurring today just reached a stunning 97%

Bi mess: OH SWEET EMBRACE OF DEATH, HOW I LONG FOR THEE.

Hanzo: Excuse me, is she high?

Hanzo: She is sitting in the break room with Hana and Genji and I can confirm that she is saying everything that she is texting out loud.

Sombra: too many words

Bi mess: RYUU GA WAGE TEKI GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Genji: yep

Bi mess: why is a pizza box square but the pizza is a circle and the slices are triangle???

Trini: who gave Kim marijuana?

Gay rocket: it was I

D/VA: doubts

Gay rocket: pardon me but u really hurt my feelings

D/VA: die mad about it

Gay doctor: God made a mistake when he made you

Bi mess: assuming god exists

Trini: Kim no

Zack: Kim yes

Bi mess: Trini, I know what the officiator should say at our wedding

Trini: what?

Bi mess: Queerly beloved, we are gathered here togay

Trini: I love you

Gay doctor: shut up children

Bi mess:

**[Gay doctor left {Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Bi mess: pussy

Tommy:

Bi mess: I want a boneless girlfriend

Zack: @Trini

Trini: u don’t deserve to live Taylor

Zack:

Trini:

Bi mess: more like

Zack: omg

Trini: ...I will kill you

Bi mess:

Trini: wife?

Bi mess:

Trini: r u serious?

Bi mess: I was going to send this

Trini: oh my fucking god

Trini: it’s a yes by the way

Bi mess:h

Trini: you’re adorable

Zack: Can I be the best man?

Gay tsunami: Attends une minute, did they just get engaged in front of all of us in a group chat?

Sombra: yep, I want to be the officiator and I will say “Queerly beloved”

Bi mess: yall r real ones

Bi mess: wait, starfish have mouths in the middle of their bodies right?

Tracer: ye

Bi mess: mermaids use them as bras

Trini: …

Sombra: I guess they’re having fun

Tommy: she’s still high

Gay tsunami: je te hais


	10. Communism will prevail one way or another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi mess: before I die I'de like to tell u all something
> 
> Bi mess: Winston hides the Nutella on the top shelf next to the oven
> 
> Bi mess: Pink ranger out *dabs*

**[12:14 am]**

**[{Don't touch Kims' Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Genji: what kind of gay are you?

Tracer: sport gay

Bi mess: drama/sport gay

Trini: ain’t that the truth

Sombra: as fun as this is, I’de like to see some drama

Genji: wow okay

Gay tsunami: may I suggest a game of volleyball

Zack: hey! Kim used to do volleyball

Bi mess: I only remember one thing

Bi mess: SNaP yOUr RiST

Sombra: sure why not

**[2:02 pm]**

Bi mess: this bitch really showed up to a volleyball game with a full face of makeup

Ana: what bitch?

Bi mess: ur daughters girlfriend

Ana: Angela?

Bi mess: yeah

Zack: this conversation passes the Bechdel test

Bi mess: I’m gonna ask an offensive question now to sate Sombras’ thirst for drama

Trini: you’d do that either way

Bi mess: whatever

Bi mess: do u believe in god?

Zack: I guess

Trini: ye

Bi mess: and unicorns?

Zack: Nah

Trini: ofc not

Bi mess: y

Trini: have u ever seen a fucking unicorn?

Bi mess: well have u ever seen god

Trini: …

Zack:

Trini: im coming for u Kim

Bi mess: wanky

Trini:

Bi mess:

D/VA: RIP Kim I guess

Bi mess: before I die I’ de like to tell u all something

Bi mess: Winston hides the Nutella on the top shelf next to the oven

Bi mess: Pink ranger out *dabs*

**[Bi mess is idle]**

Sombra: What a legend

Tracer: we will forever stan

Gay rocket: Now let’s go get the Nutella

**[12:15 pm]**

Zack: so...Hows’ life?

Bi mess:

Sombra: okay señora edgelord

Bi mess:

Sombra: I dont have a sister dumbass

Bi mess: not anymore

Gay tsunami:...

Satya: I am slightly disturbed.

Tommy: r u okay Kim?

Bi mess: **Ť̠̱͔͍͍̐͑͐͋̓͌̔̍͡R̩̟̮̘͕͓̖̬͔̃̈́̇̚͡͞Ĭ̹̭̺̟̬̤͌̃͋̿̀̄̑͘N̵͖͚̝̟̟͚̱̄͌̈̓̌̐̃̏I̴̡̛̛̯̞͉̳̫͂̌̊͆̉̄̿͘͟͜ Ị̸̧̛̩̲̠͖̖͕̫͌̿͌͞S̢͓̝͉̖͓̦͐̄̓͒͛͜ A͈̻͚̯̗͔͎̓̌͋W̢̻̣̲͍̣̎̅̃̾̐̽͌̔̚A̧̲̩̬͖̯͉̭̼̍̌̄̕͟͞͡Y̶͙̖̻̞̻͇̘̐̽̇̓̋͞͠ R̶̘̪̱̰͕͔̟̥͆̐̍͐̉͒̓̋͊̕͟ͅI̶̤̺̠̬̩̓͂̂̅̾̄̓́̈́͞G̵̮̮͚͉̗̦̖̅̅͑̀̂H͔̻̱͎͐́̎̾̆͒͢T̵̙̪͚̙͚̝̝͈͛̎̏̎̿̽̐͞ N͈̱̙̪̭̉̾̃͆̑̊͌Ǫ̟̬͖̠̱̭̜͔͆̈͆͘͡W̯̪̯̝͎̠̗͇͍̉̃̆͛͘ͅ Ș̡̨̟͆͋͑̒̎̏̒̂̔̿͢Ǫ͎̟͚͈̺̺͕̮̈́̓̌̋͆͛̚͝ Y͖͓͙̙̘͖̼̊̋̿͘͢͝͝O̡̠͍͈̲̬̔͋͒̂͘͞Ữ̷̢̡̡̖̫̜̻͇̿͂̆͢ W͔̹͖̭͔̯͎̬̥͗̅̈́͐͂͋Į̩͔̜̻̭̉̂̂̄̋͠͡͞L̸̡̨̛̖̟͍̠͓̟̙̙̾̋͂̐͋̍̚͞L̷͈̻͙͍͎̗̞͌̋̀̑̓͌̚ A̯̜̠͎̺̥͍̳̱͒̌̍̒̚͠͠͡L̲̦̩̼͍̄͑͆̓͜͠L̛̖̞̱̠̝͚̆͌͊̌̑͜ F̵̠͇͓̠̦͕̯̩̐̿̀̄̕A̸̦̱͙͈̺͖̞̐̉̽̔̈̂͜͡͝C̵̡̳̹̮̤̠̪̫̐̃͐͊̔͐͠E̡̫̤̩̩̗̩̦̽̔̇̀̏͛̐̚͜͝ͅ M̴̨͎͈̩̙̯̆́͛̉̓Y̧̻̣̬̬̣̝̪͓͊̈́̓͌͋̇̅̎̄͞ͅ Ŗ̡̛̭̪̝̺͙̲̑͋̎̈̉̄̍̔͗͜Á̠̼̲͈͈̰̩͑͋͞T̜̝͎̟̝̝̙̎͆̇͗̅̐͜H̡̖̦̪̰̗̓̾̒̽͐̑̾̅͢**

Bi mess: *does renegade*

MomFriend: stop

Bi mess:

Tommy: u don’t even play Roblox Kim

Bi mess:

D/VA: who the fuck is in the kitchen at midnight

Zack: Kim, don’t touch the food!

Bi mess:

Tommy: sTOP!

Sombra: she’s eating the leftover ramen

Genji: Kim StOP! That’s my ramen

Bi mess: Our ramen, comrade

Jesse: No

Bi mess: u can't stop communism fool

Sombra:

Bi mess: try me binch

Trini: @Everyone

Trini: @Bi mess

Bi mess: …

Bi mess:

**[Sombra left {Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate them.


	11. The Cate Blanchett cult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trini: Kim stop
> 
> Bi mess: *Renegade intensifies*

**[11:07 pm]**

Zack: so...Kim just sent me some of those pervert uncle memes and eye-

Ana: what the fuck?

Gay tsunami: Is Kim okay?

Zack: idk she sent this 

Emily: do u need to talk to someone sweetie?

Bi mess:

Gay geneticist: what on gods green earth is this fuckery?

D/VA: idk but im scared

Trini: Kim stop

Bi mess: *Renegade intensifies*

Ana: r we just going to ignore the uncle things?

Tommy:

Kims’ property:

Shegos’ property:

**[Sombra entered {Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Sombra:

Gay tsunami:

Tracer:

Satya:

Sombra: fuck, Satya found the best one

D/VA: I need more cate Blanchett in my life

Bi mess: get into the break room, Tommy and I r setting up Carol, Thor Ragnorok and Oceans 8

Sombra: @Everyone, meet in the break room

Kims’ property: we’re going to give Cate Blanchett the respect she deserves

Trini: I’ll bring the popcorn

Bi mess: *Renegades in happiness*

**[3:14 pm]**

Tommy: hey Zack

Zack: wut?

Tommy: Are you a 45-degree angle?

Tommy: cuz u a cutie

Zack: aw thanks

Kims’ property:

Tommy: is ur name google? Cuz ur everything I’ve been searching for

Zack: ily bb

Sombra:

Trini: they have worst pick-up lines than Kim

Bi mess: and yet u agreed to marry my dumbass

D/VA:

Trini: Shut up u fuckin gremlin

Sombra:

Trini: we are not starting this shit again

Bi mess: yeah guys, lets not

Zack: whipped

Trini: as if Tommy doesn’t have you wrapped around their fingers

Tommy: it’s kind of the other way around tbh

Sombra: so I met this girl and I like her a lot

Trini: go on

Sombra: what should I get her?

Bi mess: flowers

Sombra: I dont think she’d want something as superficial as flowers

Tommy: damn Sombra, that’s some poetic shit

Sombra: yeah, im like a modern Sappho

D/VA: who is this girl?

Sombra: you dumbass

Bi mess: *Pretends to be shocked*

Sombra: I don’t appreciate this slander

D/VA:

**[D/VA went idle]**

Zack: rip Sombra

Sombra: this is so sad, can I get an f in the chat?

Bi mess: u brought this on yourself bitch

Sombra: rip me I guess

**[1:00 am]**

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Bi mess:

Kims’ property: let me ask my mom first

Tracer: lmao

Sombra: guys, Hana is mad at me

Bi mess: can I get an f in the chat

Tracer: f

Gay tsunami: f

Kims’ property: f

Tommy: f

Zack: f

Sombra: oh, so now u want to drop an f?

Bi mess: relax dude, just take her out to dinner or smth

Gay tsunami: wait, why is she mad with you in the first place?

Sombra: idk

Kims’ property: great start

Sombra: well what do u do to Trini when she’s angry Kim?

Zack: phrasing

Bi mess: I eat her out

Gay tsunami: okay then

Bi mess: 

Kims’ property: what the fuk

Sombra: every day I worry about u more chica

Bi mess: fuck all of u imma go get some fuck

Tracer: at least one of us is getting laid today

Gay tsunami: va te faire foutre connasse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no excuse for this.


	12. Club penguin bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse: have u seen my virginity?
> 
> Genji: no
> 
> Jesse: nvm, ur brother has it

**[9:12 am]**

**[{Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Zack: We going to the beach bitch

Tommy: hell yeah

Sombra: wish that was me ngl

Bi mess: fuck u I guess

Trini: Kim

Bi mess: sry

Kims’ property: how does it feel to go to the beach?

Bi mess:

Tommy: do any of yall even remember club penguin?

Zack: Oy, that was the shit back then ok?

Bi mess:

Tracer: and I fucking oop-

Trini: club penguin is homophobic pass it on

Tommy: ripperoni pepperoni

MomFriend: I would like to show u all what Kim did when she first logged onto club penguin as a high school student

Jesse: this better be good

MomFriend:

D/VA: lmaoo

Shegos’ property: oml

Genji: the sad thing is that I’m not even surprised

Bi mess: fuck u all

Bi mess: this is Jason joining club penguin

Bi mess:

Zack: Oh my fucking god bro

Tommy: I dont even know which one he’s supposed to be but this is hilarious as fuck

Jesse: uh excuse me

Jesse: have u seen my virginity?

Genji: no

Jesse: nvm, ur brother has it

Genji: …

Sombra: ffs

D/VA: can I get an f for Jesse lost virginity?

Kims’ property: f

Tommy: f

Emily: f

Shegos’ property: f

Sombra: high key forgot u guys were here

Kims’ property: fuck u too Colomar

Satya: What exactly is club penguin?

Emily: gasp

Bi mess: disgusting

Gay tsunami: no she is right, what is it?

Tracer: I am debating breaking up with u

Gay tsunami: Quoi?!!

Sombra: rip Widowmaker I guess

Kims’ property: we haven’t bullied her in a while

Trini: this is literally what it is

Trini:

Satya: ...I want to understand.

Gay tsunami: Je comprend un peu

Tracer: that’s all I ask

Emily: Come home, I’m setting up an account for u and Satya

Gay tsunami: Interesting

Satya: Of course.

Bi mess: they work quickly

SonBoy: Kim, are you finished with your painting for Trini?

Trini: …

SonBoy: Oh no

Sombra: oH NO?

Trini: Kim?

Bi mess: Bye

Zack: Kims’ lying ass rn

Sombra: wdym?

Zack: she hid the actual thing from Trini and pulled out a blank canvas

Sombra: rip

Zack: Trini just asked why Kim was lying to her and Kim deflected so now Trini locked herself in her room and won’t come out

Tommy: Trini rn

Sombra: yall just want to us more cp memes

Tommy: yeah but this is also an accurate description of what is happening in MY house rn

Sombra: oof

Zack: idk, they resolve things easily

D/VA: how?

Zack: they have a system, one of them goes up to the other after a fight and is like

Zack:

Zack: then whoever needs to apologize does and they have hot steamy sex, the end

Kims’ property: wow

Kims’ property: I actually have to talk shit out with cupcake

Kims’ property: get deep and shit

Sombra: Giggity

Bi mess:

Tommy: sure

Bi mess: To be Frank I’d have to change my name

Zack: Kim using the last of her life force on this joke

Zack:

Satya: That is terrifying.

Bi mess: I have a question for u Satya

Bi mess:

Satya: Excuse me?

Sombra: ashkflasfklhafih

Zack: ffs Kim

Tracer: poor Satya

Bi mess: hmm, the lady is not protesting

Satya: I am merely ignoring your silly statements.

Bi mess: nvm, the lady doth protests too much

Tommy:https:

Ana: what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Bi mess: u got a prob moM?

Zack: sorry mOM

Gay rocket: Yeah MOM

Trini: no offense but I forgot u were on this chat

Gay rocket: fuck you but okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got distracted


	13. [Corona has entered the chat]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi mess: sucks to suck bitch
> 
> Kims’ property: ok u fucking curry smelling bitch
> 
> Tommy: KBEFKASFJU EBRTJDKL SN G

**[1:09 pm]**

**[** **{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Bi mess: Stay away from me u fucking sicko

Sombra: Huh?

Kims’ property: STay bACk ALl oF YoU!!1!!!11

Tracer: whut

Gay tsunami: Je voulais aller en Italy

Sombra: You? Still?? Can?????

Bi mess: No ONE IS SafE FRoM COronA

Zack:

Bi mess: No u fucking imbecile

Bi mess: unfriended, blocked, fucking leave

Zack: Issa joke chill

Tommy:

Bi mess: as an American, I will say that this is true

Kims’ property:

Sombra: I’m sending that to Hana and Kim

Kims’ property: wait no

Bi mess: sucks to suck bitch

Kims’ property: ok u fucking curry smelling bitch

Tommy: KBEFKASFJU EBRTJDKL SN G

Bi mess: Listen here u piece of white colonial garbage

Kims’ property:

Bi mess: wTf bITCH?

Kims’ property: tag urself you dumb slut

Kim's property:

Tommy: well shes obviously the pervert/depressed one

Sombra: OMLDSasdsFAHBDIUSBcjnKLJD

Bi mess: Oliver u dumbass ur part of my friend group

Tracer:

**[Kim created {Chat}]**

**[Kim added Trini, Zack, and 4 others to {Chat}]**

**[Zack changed the chat name to {The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Shego: fuck u

Kim: Not to be gay on main but Mrs. Clarkson is so hot

Kim: she could step on me and I’ de thank her

Tommy: Yeah, no cap

Jason: She’s subbing for our English teacher

Tommy: id sub for her if shed like ;)

Kim: HeR THighs

Trini: agreed

Tommy: istg she stretched and Kim broke her pencil

Zack: stop being gay on main

Shego:

Zack: Choose your fighter

Zack: Kim chocking because Mrs. Clarkson praised her

Zack: Trini pulling her beanie over her eyes so no one will see her blush

Zack: or Tommy who’s staring at Mrs. Clarksons ass

Trini: I hate all of u

Kim: >:(

Trini: not u cariña

Kim: >:)

Shego: disgusting

Kim: fuck u bitch

Shego: fuck me urself u coward

Tommy: well well well, how the turntables

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Bi mess: imma try something on Trini in the main chat

Kims’ property: can’t wait for this to inevitably fail

Bi mess: fuck u but okay

**[{Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Bi mess: hey Trini

Trini: huh?

Bi mess: u have nice eyes

Trini: thanks, I need them to see

Sombra: oUHDOUYgdhOIfgyguASGHFFYjKDBHSCA

Kims’ property: rip Kim

Shegos’ property: hmm?

Kims’ property: im talking about Hart, not u bb

Bi mess: I dont appreciate this slander

Kims’ property: fuck off

Bi mess: mmm u used to call me on my cell phone

Tommy: no, we don’t us Drake lyrics here

D/VA: let her express herself

Trini: no

Zack: if I don’t get to use Taylor Swift lyrics u cant use Drake lyrics, it’s only fair

Kims’ property: Keke, do u love me?

Bi mess: rip me I guess

**[Emily created the chat {Gay and European}]**

**[Emily added Lena and Amélie to {Gay and European}]**

Emily: If I get Olivia and Hana on a date u have to kiss me

Lena: aight bet

Amélie: Bien sur

**[{Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Emily: Sombra I have tickets so that u can take Hana on a date to Disney land

Sombra: But its corona season?

Emily: @Gay tsunami @Tracer

Tracer: We’re on our way

Gay tsunami: I will confirm that

Bi mess: They fuckin ಠ_ಠ

Sombra: during corona?

Tracer: Noah fence but can u fuck off?

Bi mess: maybe I will bitch

Gay rocket: make sure to wear a mask!

Bi mess: while fuckin?

Gay rocket: mayhaps

Tommy: Does anyone have a harness I can borrow?

Bi mess: r u serious rn?

Tommy: ye

Trini: tell Zack that oral is just as good as getting fucked in the ass if he thinks hard enough

Tommy: uhh

Zack: Well excuse me but some of us are bottoms okay

Sombra: I never thought I would see the day were Zackary Taylor admits that he is a bottom

Zack: and I never thought Trini would be a bottom for Kim of all people but here we are

Trini: …

Kims’ property: tea tbh

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Bi mess: @Kims’ property I hate u

Kims’ property: same bb <3

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Kim: yo Tommy u can use my strap-on

Tommy: lit

Shego: wait u have a dick y do u need a strap-on?

Kim: dp

Shego: o fuck >:0

Billy: what?

Zack: ljdBBDLJBJSBFASKLNDSAD KIM NO!

Trini: Kim, stop

Kim: hey, u wanted two in u so I put two in u okay?

Shego: asdfghjklQWERTYUI

Jason: If you two don’t stop talking about double penetration I will make you train for five hours straight even with the whole corona outbreak, got it?!

Kim: …

Trini: …

Billy: …

Tommy: …

Shego: …

Zack: so u know what double penetration is huh?

**[Jason has gone idle]**

Kim: he a freaky bitch

Zack: we been knew sis

Shego: sis we been knew

Tommy: sis boom bye

Trini: no

Tommy: y’all r fake af

Shego: ooo they got opinions

Tommy: fuck u

**[2:04 pm]**

**[{Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Gay rocket: gimme the tea

Sombra: haven’t seen u in a while huh?

Gay rocket: I was fucking ur bitch

Tommy: Trini likes dp with Kim and Jason knows what dp means

D/VA: and I fucking oop

Shegos’ property: what is dp?

Kims’ property: double penetration

Shegos’ property: meaning?

Zack: Either someone is getting it in their ass and pussy or two in one hole

Shegos’ property: oh

Bi mess: u really gonna expose people like this Oliver?

Tommy: ye

Bi mess: u might be non-binary but u still a fucking snake

Tommy: hiss hiss bitch

Sombra: adsfGHJKL

Jesse: a yes, the usual Sombra key smash

Jesse: I'm glad we've come this far

Sombra: fuk u, go suck Hanzos furry dick

Genji: can u not

Sombra: no

Tommy: rekt

Gay geneticist: Wow, so what happened here while we were gone?

Sombra: read up bitch

Gay geneticist: I dont want to

Sombra: ur loss binch

Bi mess:

Gay rocket: rip

D/VA: where is angela?

Gay rocket: idk

Kims’ property: ur a bad gf

Gay rocket: go back to eating Kim out

Kims’ property: gingersnap my fucking neck then

Shegos’ property: Are u okay Shego?

Kims’ property: no can I get kisses?

Shegos’ property: ofc bb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Corona time!
> 
> Hope you're all staying safe :)


	14. Depressed but well dressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shego: anytime u pink skyscraper
> 
> Kim: Was that supposed to be an insult?
> 
> Shego: a guy on snap just sent me a dick pic and told me that he could turn me str8t so I’m annoyed nd tired, lay off

**[1:23 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Tommy: so I had a last reunion with my relatives before we’re all quarantined

Kim: rip

Tommy: and my uncle walks up to me and asks

Tommy: “Have u picked a gender to identify as?”

Tommy: honestly, God bless him, he’s trying to understand but I couldn’t

Tommy: so I look at him and say

Tommy: “Never in my life have I chosen to do something I don’t want to do”

Tommy: “I have procrastinated so much that at this point I’m too lazy to pick a gender so no, I have not picked one uncle, can u pass the salt please?”

Zack: adsfghjkowecfiu axaB BABE!

Kim: at least he’s trying

Tommy: Yeah, we all had a good laugh and he’s definitely one of the good ones

Tommy: he bought this huge book about non-binary ppl and said that when quarantine is over he would be done with it and we could talk

Shego: that’s fucking adorable, my family can’t even accept that I’m gay

Kim: rip

Trini: sry Shego

Shego: it’s cool, Kims’ parents love me

Kim: Me or Possible?

Shego: guess dumbass

Kim: that hurt

Shego: sry

Tommy: r they being?? u know??? civil??????

Shego: I can appreciate a dumb bisexual who doesn’t have an impulse control

Kim: I can appreciate a stupid lesbian with questionable morals

Shego: Ayyy

Kim: Ayyy

Billy: Im happy you got over your differences but Hana wants to know who rigged all the Dorito bags in her pantry to explode?

Kim: According to Fareeha, Junkrat did it

Jason: who?

Zack: Junkrat

Shego: Junkrat

Trini: I’m going back on the main chat to ask

**[{Don’t touch Kims’ Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Trini: who’s Junkrat?

Satya: Is he on base again?

Tracer: ye

Trini: so he works for Overwatch

Sombra: kinda

D/VA: WHO MADE MY DORITO SUPPLY EXPLODE?!!

Bi mess: Junkrat

Tommy: Junkrat

Kims’ property: Junkrat

Zack: Junkrat

Satya: How do you four know that?

Bi mess: idk

Kims’ property: we’re psychic

D/VA: suspicious

Tommy: well fuck u then

Gay rocket: It was Junkrat, on accident

Gay rocket: he threw bombs in the pantry and they might have stuck to the Dorito bags

D/VA: how do u know that Fareeha?

Gay geneticist: And why are you not in quarantine like the rest of us during a global pandemic?

Gay rocket: gotta gay

**[Gay rocket went idle]**

Sombra: huh, this is the first time Fareeha is actually in trouble

Bi mess: rip

Kims’ property: It was her time

Gay tsunami: May we drop an f for our dear Fareeha?

Trini: yeah cause yall know what it’s like huh?

Zack: I mean…

Bi mess: yeah ngl

Tommy: Can I get an f?

Sombra: f

Kims’ property: f

Bi mess: f

Zack: f

Gay tsunami: f

Tracer: f

Gay geneticist: f

Trini: notice how only those who actually get in trouble dropped an f

Bi mess: fuck off tin man

Zack: asdfghjkl

Jason: oml Kim

Bi mess: What? We’re all in quarantine so it’s not like she can come over and hurt me

Trini: Kim, we literally live in the same house

Trini: im coming for ur sins

Tommy: rip Kim guys

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Kim: I want the phrase “Died for the pussy” on my grave

Shego: ur a real one Hart

Shego: And I will make sure ur wish is fulfilled

Kim: thx u green bitch

Shego: anytime u pink skyscraper

Kim: Was that supposed to be an insult?

Shego: a guy on snap just sent me a dick pic and told me that he could turn me str8t so I’m annoyed nd tired, lay off

Kim: o shit sry

Shego: its cool just wish my gf was here

Shego: quarantine sucks

Kim: tru

Trini: u r aware that this isn’t a private chat?

Kim: fuk hold up

**[Kim created {Chat}]**

**[Kim added Shego to {Chat}]**

**[Shego changed the chat name to {We gay, keep scrolling}]**

Kim: noice

**[Shego changed Kim to Dicaprio]**

Dicaprio: not so noice

**[Dicaprio changed Shego to MJ]**

MJ: y

Dicaprio: cause u a smooth criminal

MJ: ah

MJ: noice

Dicaprio: wut about mine?

MJ: idk cause u like sweeping Trini off her feet for no reason

Dicaprio: I’ll take it

MJ: noice

Dicaprio: we’re so lame

MJ: agreed

**[{Don’t touch Kim’s Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Bi mess: Shego misses her gf

Kims’ property: so do u dumbass

Bi mess: Leave me alone u fucking green lantern whore

Kims’ property: shut up u fucking uniqua looking ass

Tommy: tf is uniqua?

Hanzo:

Sombra: lmao okay

Bi mess:

Zack: OMLASDFGHJK what is wrong with u?

Bi mess: everything

Kims’ property: except the way we dress

Bi mess: ayyy

Tommy: oh so now ur friends

Bi mess: mayhaps binch

Kims’ property:

▬▬▬.◙.▬▬▬

▂▄▄▓▄▄▂

◢◤ █▀▀████▄▄▄▄◢◤ 

█▄ █ーJ ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀╬||||||||| 

◥█████◤

══╩══╩══

Bi mess: tf?

Tracer: nose

Tracer: I typed “nose” with my nose guys!

Gay tsunami: congratulations chérie

Kims’ property: heart

Bi mess: dick

Sombra: nipple

Ana: what is wrong with you guys?

Bi mess: everything

Kims’ property: except the way we dress

Bi mess: noice

Kims’ property: no prob

Sombra: okay but like, I actually typed that with my nipple, praise me

D/VA: if we weren’t in quarantine rn I would offer to kiss u but...

Sombra: no I get it cariña

Kims’ property: irrelevant but Kim’s mad at me

Sombra: what did u do to ur gf?

Kims’ property: idk

Bi mess: I know what u need to do

Kims’ property: wut?

Bi mess: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipvEIZMMILA ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipvEIZMMILA)

Gay rocket: oh my god I love that song

Zack: ffs

Kims’ property: what the fuck Kim?

Bi mess: Just show her a little swing

Sombra: jUSt SHoW hER A LittLE SwiNG?????

Tommy: Yall r wack

Trini: and who was the one who woke us up at 4 am because they were blasting “Llama in my living room” in our living room?

Bi mess: omg yeah!  
  


Zack: best moment of quarantine

Tommy: but it was boring since Kim was already up

Gay tsunami: Why were you awake Kim?

Bi mess: I’m fasting

Gay rocket: Ramadan?

Bi mess: Ramadan

D/VA: r u sure Tommy wasn’t trying to ruin ur routine?

Tommy: no

D/VA: r u serious?

Tommy: I plead the fifth

Trini: I think not binch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> But real talk what animal was Uniqua supposed to be?


	15. The common enemy => Online class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy: rip my teacher, she logged back on and wants to see you, Kim
> 
> Bi mess: fuck her im watching porn
> 
> MomFriend: im telling her u said that

**[11:30 am]**

**[{Don't touch Kims Tikka Masala unless ur Trini}]**

Gay geneticist: where is Kim?

Trini: online class

Sombra: f

Trini: she says its the most awkward thing she’s ever done in her life

Tommy: 

Gay rocket: wait, ur all in school?

Trini: college

Zack: tag yourself bitch

Tommy: wheres the one who pretends to always be buffering?

Zack: u right

Trini: We all know which one Kim is right?

Tommy: Walter

Zack: Walter

MomFriend: Walter

SonBoy: Walter

Bi mess: wow okay

Sombra: she’s back

Bi mess: yeah, Tommy muted the teacher so I told her to click ALT + F4

Zack: ooo what a rebel, I see ur type Trini

Trini: fuck off

Bi mess: anyways, Jason is Winston and Trini is Warren

Trini: fuck u

MomFriend: whatever Kim

Bi mess: im sorry but ur internet connection is shit

Zack: ye

Tommy: sry Jace

MomFriend: we live in the same damn house you sad fucks

Tracer: how wholesome

Gay tsunami: truly

Emily: y’all really interrupted this?

Gay tsunami: mayhaps

Zack: where have u assholes been?

Tracer: none of ur business

Emily: fucking

Tracer: really

Zack: where is Billy?

Tommy: with Jason

D/VA: r they, u know?

Bi mess:

Trini: leave them alone Kim

Bi mess: fine

Zack: whipped

Satya: What? Are you implying that Trini whips Kimberly?

Zack: ye

Tommy: they prob do that

Zack: they freaky bitches

Bi mess: fuck u

Trini: what we do is none of your business

Tommy: power bottom?

Zack: power bottom

Bi mess: actually stop

Tommy: service top?

Zack: service top

Jesse: ur so stupid I can’t

Zack: cowboii cant handle it

Genji: I wouldn’t start that

Genji: Hanzo doesn’t like others hurting his pets

D/VA: OMLSDFGHJK

Tracer: WTF GENJISAKJD

Bi mess: dislike that

Trini: u dislike everything

Bi mess: except u

Sombra: affection? Disgusting

D/VA: if we weren’t in quarantine I would hug u

Sombra: sucks to suck conejita

Bi mess: my brain autocorrected hug to bug smh

D/VA: Oh honey I don't need to be near anyone to do that

Zack:

Bi mess:

Tommy: rip my teacher, she logged back on and wants to see you, Kim

Bi mess: fuck her im watching porn

MomFriend: im telling her u said that

Bi mess: do it u won’t

Bi mess: Jason?

Bi mess: Jace?

Zack: ur so dead

Trini: wait, why are u watching porn?

Bi mess: gotta gay

**[Bi mess went idle]**

MomFriend: I told her

Zack: what did she do?

Tommy: She says that what Kim does in her free time is her business but that she should still be at scheduled online classes if she wants to graduate

Zack: oof

**[Sombra changed the chat name to {Kim got caught watching porn}]**

Bi mess: no I didn’t

Zack: I smell a liar

**[3:01 am]**

Bi mess: racecar backward still says racecar

Bi mess: The word bed looks like a bed

Bi mess: My mother could have ruined my life by naming me shit

Bi mess: The word therapist literally spells out the rapist

Bi mess: I know ur all asleep but one of u must be awake to witness this

Bi mess: whatever bye bitches

**[8:38 am]**

Kims’ property: Just show her a little swing

D/VA: _Just show her a little swing_

Tracer: **Just show her a little swing**

Tommy: jUST Show Her A LiTtlE swING

Gay rocket: **_JUST SHOW HER A LITTLE SWING_ **

Sombra: **J̷̹̼̬͇̹̩̤̜̫͒̊̑͆͒̓̍ṵ̸͈͔͚̙̼̓̇̔͢͞͠͡ş̴̛̛͉͉̣̪̻̓̇̌̓͊̓̉͝ͅͅt̛̞͎̯͙̓̒̈́̉͘͢ s̛̖̤͍̖͇̙͔̳͍̤̋̈́̽͛̓̒ḣ̷̨̛͎̯͎̗͓̘̦̟̉͋̽̕͜͠ǫ̷̬̠̼̫̥̏̾͗̓̓͒̄͗̈w̡̻͉̣̠̠̐̊̓̓͗͛̚̚ h̤̙͓̺̯̯̓̐̏̆̌̌͝ȩ̷̧̝̩̰̉͋͊̃̓̾̽̓̒r̩͚̗̘̞̉̇̓͛͐͑͗͘͜͟͜ a̵̧̮͖͍̾́́̓̿̊͘ͅ ĺ̵̨̮̳͍͂̅̈̿̈́̂̅͒̕͜ỉ̸̛̘̥̪͎̫̩̪̘̓̀́̒̚t̶̹͉͉̞͇̙̺͈͚̭͌̓͗̑́͊̓͞t̶̢͚̳̬͕̫̬̬̮̂͛̓̔̾̾͘͘͞͝l̷̡̠̠̳̮̫̰̗̐̍̋͋̑͘͜͝͝e̷͉͓̪̼̥͇̜̓̂͋̆̅ ș̨̠̤̺̲̲̪̈͋̓͋͘w̢͈͓̳̤̞̜͓̗͗̒̒̊̽̚͟͠i͉̩̙̦̭͇̓͋̐͆̕͠͠n̶̛̦̱̞̥͊̊̽̕͜͠͡ģ̵̛̞̺̹̩̳̥̲̦̾͊̂̾̏͠ͅ**

Gay geneticist:

Tracer: ADSFGHJKl

Sombra: Moira why?!???!?

Tommy: I love that

Zack:

Trini: AFSDGhfgJHKJKL:LXDUTCYIVUOBIPN{}?W

Tommy: I think u broke her Zack

Trini: You have watered my crops, cleared my skin, raised my grades

**[This is Winston. For secrecy and work purposes, I will be terminating this chat. Please do not attempt to contact any Overwatch agents or personnel as we will be going into hiding. Thank you for your understanding]**

**[Winston deleted {Kim got caught watching porn}]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Online class was the fucking worst istg


	16. The Rangers regain control of the chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy: great, on other news Undyne could punch me and I’de thank her
> 
> Jason: why are you people always so horny?
> 
> Bi mess: I’ve never been attracted to a fish before but I guess there’s a first time for everything

**[11:03 pm]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Kim: I can’t believe Winston did that

Tommy: I feel betrayed

Billy: I’m sorry, but who’s turn is it to go on patrol?

Jason: Zack

Kim: Zack

Tommy: Zack

Trini: Zack

Zack: wow rude

Billy: How about we all go?

Shego: sup nerds

**[Kim changed Shego to Green]**

Green: okay bitch

**[Green changed Kim to Bi mess]**

Bi mess: hmm

Bi mess: understandable

Zack: so we’re all going on patrol?

Trini: yeah

Green: oop-

Jason: I’ll meet you all at the cliff

**[Jason went idle]**

**[1:02 am]**

Billy: um, why are Kim and Zack standing on the roof of an apartment?

Trini: I’m already multitasking so don’t ask for my help

Jason: Kim, Zack what are u doing?

Bi mess: I don’t really know

Bi mess: scoping out pretty girls I guess

Zack: I felt that

Green: mood

Trini: u have a gf bitch

Bi mess: yeah but she’s multitasking so…

Zack:

Trini: I’m going home

Bi mess: understandable have a nice day

**[Trini went idle]**

Billy: that was a little harsh Kim

Bi mess: Sorry

Bi mess: we had a fight earlier so yeah

Green: about what?

Bi mess: Some people have been harassing me about being trans for weeks and I didn’t tell Trini and she found out yesterday

Bi mess: and she was angry that I didn’t tell her so I told her that it was my problem not hers and she just blew up on me

Green: who’s harassing u? Imma give them the good old burn mark on the ass

Bi mess: it’s fine guys

Bi mess: I can handle assholes

Zack: doesn’t mean u need to take it

Bi mess: I can’t do this right now guys

**[Bi mess went idle]**

Green: is it just me or are u guys actually more depressed than before?

Zack:

Green: tf

Jason: he does that sometimes

Green: Imma go check up on Kim

**[{We gay keep scrolling}]**

MJ: whats up Kim?

Dicaprio: idk

MJ: u said people were bothering u, wanna go beat them up together?

Dicaprio: hello, this is Trini and Kim wants u to know that she doesn’t want to talk about it

MJ: oh

MJ: tell Kim that im sorry if I upset her

Dicaprio: she says that it’s fine but that she really wants to forget about it

MJ: k

MJ: r u two cool now?

Dicaprio: Yeah

Dicaprio: onto more important questions

Dicaprio: ← Why is this Kim’s name on the chat?

MJ: gotta blast

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Sombra: Winston will not delete this chat

Zack: still as chaotic as ever I see

Kims’ property: lmao yeah

Bi mess: I still think PBJ is a salad so :/

Tracer: I beg to differ

Bi mess: then beg

Sombra: not to be a weenie but I missed u guys

Bi mess: how does that make u a weenie?

Kims’ property: aren’t u like 26? And u still use the word weenie?

Sombra: I missed everyone on this chat except that bitch

Kims’ property: same bitch different situations slut

Gay tsunami: Can you please talk somewhere else? Satya is trying to sleep

Bi mess: ooh, is someone getting laid?

Tracer: Nah, we just finished

Zack: …

Tracer: what?

Kims’ property: wish that was me ngl

Tommy: shut up u horny bitch

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Trini: I would like to take a moment for u all to plan an intervention for Kim about her issues

Bi mess: Miss this is a Mcdonald’s drive-thru…

Green: lmao okay

Tommy: shut up all of u im watching pretty little liars

Zack: oooo

Zack: What season?

Tommy: 3

Tommy: Spencer is so hot I literally can’t asdFGHJKl

Green: they’re rly in deep

Zack: lmao have u seen Spencer?

Green: im not disagreeing

Trini: okay but consider this

Trini: Shay Mitchell

Green: u right

**[11:10 pm]**

Trini: so Kim is crying

Green: who hurt her? I’ll kill em

Trini: she took a test to see which route she would be in Undertale

Trini: She got soulless pacifist

Zack: that doesn’t sound too bad

Green: what does that mean?

Trini: it’s doing pacifist after doing genocide

Bi mess: [ https://www.quotev.com/quiz/8125290/Whats-Your-Undertale-Route ](https://www.quotev.com/quiz/8125290/Whats-Your-Undertale-Route)

Bi mess: u will all suffer

Green: I got neutral

Zack: Neutral

Tommy: True pacifist

Jason: Pacifist

Billy: True pacifist

Trini: Neutral

Bi mess: what the fuck guys?

Bi mess: I don’t want to kill any of the monsters

Tommy: Kim, it’s just a stupid quiz

Bi mess: I am a disgrace!

Zack: while everyone is stuck playing animal crossing I’m just going to replay Undertale until I pass out

Tommy: same tbh

Bi mess: chARA WAS INNOCENT!!

Green: FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT!!!!

Trini: I have to agree

Tommy: yeah

Zack: Wow, look at the united front

Green: seriously, u can’t blame Chara for the genocide route when ur the one killing everyone

Zack: u got me there

Tommy: great, on other news Undyne could punch me and I’de thank her

Jason: why are you people always so horny?

Bi mess: I’ve never been attracted to a fish before but I guess there’s a first time for everything

**[1:02 am]**

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Kims’ property: random question, what run did u guys first do in Undertale? I did neutral bc I killed Toriel, doggo, and Jerry

Tracer: Neutral and same

Sombra: Genocide only because I thought the point of the game was to kill everyone

Sombra: the sans fight was brutal, I think I got ptsd from it

Gay tsunami: I have not heard of this Undertale

Kims’ property: get widow to play and we’ll check in later

Tommy: I did pacifist

Zack: Neutral I accidentally killed Toriel and Mettaton

Bi mess: true pacifist ‘cause I wanted Alphys and Undyne to d8 ;)

**[5:56 am]**

Gay tsunami: I did neutral

Gay tsunami: I killed a few lesser monsters and that annoying flower

Kims’ property: lit

Gay tsunami: I really like this Chara character that Sombra was talking about

Bi mess: same tbh

Bi mess: they’re cool

Bi mess: Have u ever considered

Bi mess: Chara x frisk

Zack: oh my god

Zack: stop this immediately

Sombra: no she has a point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of this fic will be more rangers centered since my brief hyper-fixation with Overwatch is over.


	17. TERF's are trash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason: I neg to differ
> 
> Jason: *beg
> 
> Bi mess: then neg slut

**[11:28 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Jason: guys, we have an interview scheduled in an hour. Please get ready

Bi mess: RIP, another interview of me pretending to be a cis straight

Green: tf?

Tommy: she doesn’t have to but she wants to keep her sexuality and gender identity from the public

Green: Kim, it would be really cool if you came out as the pink ranger. Think of all the LGBT kids you’de make happy when they see that one of the heroes that protect them is like them

Bi mess: shit u got me there

Tommy: it’s only a matter of time before gay panic claimes one of us and we spill everything anyway

Zack: spilling the tea with [Inster the name of whatever news person is interviewing us]

Trini: “How I got the media off my ass about dating a guy when I have a girlfriend!” (Not clickbait)

Bi mess: “How I got the media off my ass about being cis and str8t when I’m trans and bi!!!” (Free merch, links included)

Green: u guys r wild

Jason: so are you guys ready?

Bi mess: no

Trini: yes

Zack: no

Tommy: no

Billy: Of course

Bi mess: majority rules! No one is ready

Jason: I neg to differ

Jason: *beg

Zack: lmao neg

Bi mess: then neg slut

Green:

Jason: stop it, Kim

Bi mess: no

Billy: Kim, we really need to go. I want to see if they will give us cake when we get there

Bi mess: huRRY UP BITCHES WE’RE TAKING THE MYSTERY MACHINE

Trini: we don’t have a mystery machine

Tommy: yet

Bi mess: lmao okay

Zack:

Green: oh shit really?

Jason: Can you guys hurry up?

Bi mess:

Trini: Kim, what the actual fuck is that?

Bi mess: breaking news cant u read?

Zack: wow

Bi mess: I struggle a lot

Zack: examples

Bi mess:

Zack: f

Tommy: f

Green: f

Trini: can u not for like two minures?

Bi mess: minures

Zack: minures

Green: minures

Trini: fuk u

Jason: we need to go

Bi mess: I’m spilling all the tea today

Bi mess: and soon I will be the most hated ranger

Trini: not if I can help it

Tommy: “Yellow ranger kills horde of transphobes because pink ranger cried.” (uncut video)

Green: great title 11/10

Bi mess: ily Trini but don’t kill any1 pls

Trini: fine

**[Zack changed Trini to DownToFight]**

DownToFight: damn right i am

Tommy: oop-

Bi mess: aww, I can’t wait to marry u bb

Green: there goes corona, ruining weddings

DownToFight: fr

Jason: hello? We still have an interview to get to

Zack: oh fuk yeah

Green: well, tell me how it went I guess

Bi mess: whatever

Green: good luck bitch

Bi mess: thx bitch

Tommy: how nice

Bi mess: shut up Oliver

**[5:39 am]**

**[Bi mess changed DownToFight to Gay]**

Gay: u bitch

Bi mess: >;-D

Green: I have a problem

Zack: what?

Green: Cupcakes brothers were annoying me

Zack: and?

Green: so I told them that God was coming for their sins and left

Bi mess: …

Zack: …

Gay: Wish I said that to my brothers ngl

Bi mess: biTCH WhAT The FuKjbhskdn

Green: I’m not a pussy

Bi mess: doubts

Green: fuck off Hart

Bi mess: damn someone isn’t getting laid

Jason: Can you please stop? Billy and I are trying to watch v for vendetta

Gay: v for vagina

Green: all this talk about pussy and im still not getting any smh :/

Zack: ADSdfghJlkj;ASDFGHJKL

Zack: TrINi!

Bi mess: the snack that smiles back

**[Zack removed Bi mess from {The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Gay: zACK!!

Zack: shes n time out

Green: rip

**[11:29 pm]**

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Bi mess: People r so annoying

Sombra: what happened to you, Hart?

Bi mess: people

Kims’ property: oof

Bi mess: okay bitch

Bi mess: I was hoping for some support but whatever

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

**[Gay added Bi mess to {The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Gay: Kim are you alright?

Bi mess: i-

Billy: what happened?

Jason: I knew we shouldn’t have done the interview

Jason: If we hadn’t we wouldn’t be in this mess

Zack: JASON SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SHOVE MY SNEAKER SO FAR DOWN UR THROAT THAT ULL TASTE THE SWEAT AND TEARS OF THE CHINESE KID WHO MADE IT!11!!!!!!

Gay: zACK CALM DOWN

Zack: NO, THIS DUMBASS NEEDS TO CHECK HIMSELF BEFORE HE REKS HIMSELF OR ISTG

Jason: sorry

Gay: Kim what’s wrong?

Bi mess: can I just get a coffee first?

Gay: of course bb, how do u want it?

Bi mess: can I get espresso shots in it?

Gay: how many?

Bi mess: yes

Gay: im gonna put two okay?

Bi mess: fine

Green: rip, u good kim?

Bi mess: I’m muting my twitter

Zack: wait, ur allowED TO MAKE A TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR THE PINK RANGER BUT I CAN’T GIVE THE BLACK RANGER A SOUNDCLOUD ACCOUNT?!!

Tommy: and eye oop-

**[10:12 am]**

Tommy: guess what we need to read for English class over the summer?

Green: Shakespeare?

Bi mess: The 120 days of Sodom

Green: ASDFGHJKLyckfb’;m

Gay: why are you reading porn?

Bi mess: welcome to AP literature were u can read porn without being a pervert because it’s in the syllabus

Zack: now I wish I had taken AP lit

Tommy: u pervert

Zack: u literally watched porn in front of me last night

Tommy: u were there too so ur argument is invalid

Bi mess: I’m depressed <3

Gay: <3

Billy: Why are you sending Pacman eating breasts?

Green: eye-

Tommy: thANKS, NOW I CAN’T UNSEE IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst? In a group chat fic? It's more likely than u think.


	18. Heard that u were talking shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy: it’s one of my many talents
> 
> Tommy: besides being able to read a 200k fanfic in two hours

**[1:24 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Gay: zack, wtf r u doing?

Zack: in this world its yeet or be yeeted

Gay: stop this buffoonery

Green: wut happened?

Gay: Zack just walked into my room, grabbed my pink ranger funko pop and threw it out the window

Bi mess: whY WOULD U YEET ME OUT THE WINDOW ZACK I FEEL SO BETRAYED!!

Zack: its yeet or be yeeted Kimberly

Billy: what is wrong Zack, you usually do not do such things

Zack: Tommy

Green: oop-

Gay: rly? Thats why u yeeted my figurine? Because Tommy is doing their whole ‘am I a boy or a girl? who knows but everyone likes me so that makes everyone gay’ thing

Zack: ...Fuck u Trini, u would know

Gay: huh?

Zack: literally everyone who ever talks to Kim gets a crush on her no cap

Gay: I banish u to the Gulag

Zack: u know im right. All the little freshmen at uni that Kim would help 110% had a crush on her

Green: and I fucking oop-

Gay: shut up Shego

Bi mess: they did?

Zack: just because u have a gf doesn’t change the fact that u r a dumb oblivious bi binch

Bi mess: rude but ok

**[Gay left {The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Green: aight but seriously Kim, u wouldn’t know that someone was pinning for u if they slapped u in the face with a wet rotten fish

Zack: graphic

Bi mess: idk, I’m not really that good looking and I’m weird

Green: …

Zack: …

Tommy: what the actual fuck is wrong with u Kim?

Tommy: u r literally flawlessly hot tf?

Bi mess: oh

Bi mess: cool

Bi mess: To repeat Trini’s earlier statement, u have ur whole ‘am I a boy am I girl who knows but everyone likes me so that makes everyone gay’ thing and that’s nice

Tommy: it’s one of my many talents

Tommy: besides being able to read a 200k fanfic in two hours

Green: fr

Jason: whos in the kitchen banging pots and pans?

Bi mess: …

Jason: Kim y?

Bi mess: I drank an espresso so I'm blaming this situation on that

Tommy: u mean that huge cup of espresso was drunk all by u

Bi mess: ye

Billy: I am slightly concerned

Bi mess: it’s fine, I once drank three of these in a day for finals week

Bi mess: I blacked out for a good four hours during my math & english exam but I got an A so it's fine

Zack: kIM!

Green: asdGFHJK that’s not okay

Tommy: wAIt sO thATS whAT WAs WRoNG WitH yoU DUrinG LAst YEArS TEsT??1?!

Green: explain

Tommy: aight so, Kim went into our English exam about journalism and free speech and after like half an hour she stood, stared at our teacher and declared that Celebrity tabloids were basically the same as those spam emails about boob surgery

Green: sHE What

Tommy: yep

Bi mess: so that’s why Mr. sheen always glares at me

Zack: lol, only get Kim decaf from now on

Bi mess: fair enough

Green: hold up

Green: y does trini have a pink ranger funko pop when she’s literally dating the pink ranger?

Bi mess: gotta blast!

**[12:34 am]**

**[{beT ON IT}]**

**[Bi mess added Shego to {beT ON IT}]**

Bi mess: im bringing this chat back from the dead because I need help

Trailer: aight

Tommy: aight

Shego: aight

Bi mess: so, Trini asked me out on a date

Tommy: yall r already dating so what’s wrong?

Bi mess: I’m the problem I don’t like being out in public now

Trailer: because of the TERFs? Or corona?

Bi mess: both. It honestly surprises me that Trini is still with me

Bi mess: I’m literally a wreck. Like if someone looked up the definition of emotional baggage and internalized hate they would see a picture of me

Tommy: lmao have u seen me?

Trailer: oop-

Tommy: im telling u all rn that the only person who can roast me is me so stfu

Tommy: ok but no cap, Kim ur okay

Tommy: we all have our issues and tbh ur dealing with them better than most the thing is that u internalize everything even though u have friends that have had similar experiences and r willing to hear u

Bi mess: thx

Bi mess: I just dont know if she’s rly happy with me

Trailer: u two r literally engaged tf

Bi mess: ik but, what if shes feeling pressured into marrying me?

Shego: aight listen

Shego: she must like u

Shego: ive seen the way she looks at u.

Shego: she has the gay longing gaze™

Tommy: ye, she can’t possibly look at u with that look™ and somehow not be into u

Bi mess: oh

Bi mess: that’s nice

Trailer: lit

Shego: go get ur girl

Tommy: and have fun

Bi mess: thx guys

**[4:28 pm]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Jason: can someone please explain the news headling I just read?

Green: context?

Jason: I’m looking at this tabloid with the title “Recently out and proud Pink Ranger was found kissing a high schooler outside a Krispy Kreme”

Tommy: oop-

Zack: KIMWTFASDFGHJKL

Green: pics or it didn’t happen

Jason: I would rather not

Green: coward

Bi mess: yo

Zack: bitch WTF IS WRONG WITH U ASJFDKHGFLKJ

Bi mess: uuuuuuuh Idk

Tommy: read up ^

Bi mess: oh

Jason: explain

Bi mess: well

Bi mess: trini and I went to the krispy kreme down the street to get food for our date

Bi mess: and when we were walking out she dragged me into a back alley and kissed me

Bi mess: and I may have morphed because of reasons and me being like extremely turned on

Bi mess: and someone may or may not have seen us and taken a picture

Jason: what the fuck Kim?/???!?!?

Bi mess: oops?

Tommy: sadfgFGJGHKDSZFINO

Zack: oh mygod Tommy

Bi mess: what?

Zack: if u haven’t realized we r all connected by the ranger sense bullshit

Zack: so when u were getting all hot and bothered with crazy girl me and Tommy were stuck with the most impromptu boner we have ever had

Tommy: fr

Green: didn’t yall ask for a harness not too long ago?

Tommy: ye and?

Green: y did u need a harness if u already have dicks?

Tommy: dont asks questions ur not ready to hear the answer to

Green: okay then

Bi mess: lmao sry guys

Zack: im trying to imagine billy in this situation but hes too pure

Bi mess: u absolute heathen

Green: back to the tabloid what u gonna do about it?

Jason: im scrolling through the comments and it doesn’t seem to bad

Zack: lol guess whats trending on twitter

Bi mess: wut

Zack: #PinkRangerisaplayer

Green: oop-

Bi mess: yeah, some people r tweeting that I’m a cradle robber but Trini is like

Bi mess: 19?

**[Gay entered {The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Gay: I’m 20 so shut the fuck up

Bi mess: oh

Bi mess: anyways yeah

Bi mess: im literally a year older than her smh

Bi mess: its because ur so short trini people think im some sort of pedophile

Gay: who the fuck called u a pedophile? I just wanna talk to them

Bi mess: ppl on twitter

Zack: some are deadass mad at Trini bc they ship the yellow ranger with the pink ranger im-

Tommy: lmfao the irony

Green: if only they knew the truth

Gay: stfu

Jason: please refrain from going out in public, both for your safety and my sanity

Bi mess: lol okay mom

Zack: yo look what I found

Zack: Giggity

Green: WTFSHGJJKHLSASDGFHGJ

Zack: sWIGgiTY sWOotY Im cOMinG FOr tHAt bOOTy

Tommy: omg zack thankUFORTHIS

Bi mess: biTCH WHATTHEFUCKTAYLOR?!1??1?

Gay: what the hell is this?

Green: sCREENSHOITTED

Bi mess: noo sotp

Tommy: lmao sotp

Zack: sotp

Gay: zack why?

Zack: I was looking into the pink ranger issue in twitter

Zack: and someone dm that to Kim

Bi mess: y r u on my twitter account?

Zack: u left ur computer on the table with ur ranger account open

Bi mess: fuk I forgot to turn off my dm

Gay: kim ignore them

Bi mess: I mean, I don’t like the hate but that pic is hilarious

Zack: pink ranger approved

Green: truly a badge of honor

**[4:12 am]**

Tommy: let it be known that Kim is an ass grabber

Green: tea

Zack: fax nd context pls

Tommy: so me and kim r at this club right?

Tommy: nd I think she got like super hammered cuz she thought I was trini so she grabbed my ass and was trying to kiss me

Tommy: then she backs away and says “Did ur butt get smaller or r u not trini?”

Tommy: so I said that I wasn’t trini nd she ran out of the club nd now I cant find her

Zack: oh shit

Zack: we need to find ger before trini wakes up

Green: so

Green Kim just called me saying that shes hiding in a Walmart and idk

Tommy: did she say which one?

Green: next to krispe kreme apparently

Green: she sounds rly drunk

Zack: aight lets go

Zack: tommy, get in the car we’re gonna look for this dumbass

Tommy: ok fine

Green: this is gonna be like finding waldo isnt it?

Tommy: finding waldo sicko mode binch

Green: o shit u right

**[8:39 am]**

Gay: @Bi mess y arent u anwering ur phone?

Bi mess: ur so prtty trini

Gay: thx but where r u

Bi mess: in zak nd tom car

Bi mess: tom is a comfortable pillow

Tommy: kim got drunk but its fine

Zack: ye we got her

Gay: kim, where did u go

Tommy: no

Bi mess: Walmart!

Zack: oop-

Tommy: run zack

Gay: im coming for ur shins oliver

Tommy: rip me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you have any suggestions!


	19. Depressing statements & masks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack: im gonna get u
> 
> Bi mess: if I dont move the cis wont see me
> 
> Tommy: lmao okay
> 
> Green: *cries in cis*

**[12:09 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Tommy: im throwing a mini party in the living room who wants to come?

Jason: I’m busy

Billy: I am working on something but I will join you when I am done

Tommy: aight

Zack: im ready

Bi mess: im here already

Gay: why tomtom?

Green: whaT KIND OF NAME IS TOMTOMWTFASDHGJLK

Tommy: be there or be square binch

Bi mess: do we got some games?

Tommy: u should know that all the games I have are here to break up relationships

Bi mess: its fine, trini basically roasts me every day

Gay: I will neither confirm nor deny that statement

Zack: fuk we know. We were there when trini dragged your outfit choice yesterday, what did she say anyway?

Bi mess: smth like “u look like a business major who won’t stop buying ridiculous patterned ties for no reason and has probably stuck their dick in a burning hot cappuccino at least once”

Bi mess: jokes on her cause ive done it twice

Tommy: Kim WTF?

Green: r u serious?

Bi mess: maybe

Zack: say sike rn

Bi mess: no

Zack: im gonna get u

Bi mess: if I dont move the cis wont see me

Tommy: lmao okay

Green: *cries in cis*

Bi mess: wheres trini? I wanna kiss her

Tommy: damn hart on a scale of 0 to gay that was a solid 420

Bi mess: blaze it bitch

Zack: guys, trini just walked out of kims room and shes doing the weird smiley thing

Bi mess: what?

Zack: well u know how shes usually like this ¬_¬

Zack: but when shes with u shes like this ¬‿¬

Bi mess: shes adorable

Bi mess: sometimes istg shes the only thing keeping me from killing myself lol

Zack: adding ‘lol’ after saying something depressing doesnt make it less worrying kim

Bi mess: whatever

Jason: can we move back to the part where kim said she stuck her penis in a hot cup of coffee?!1 tWICE?!??!!?

Tommy: oh yeah, how did it feel kim?

Bi mess: it hurted

Tommy: imma go do it

Jason: wHY?!??!

Tommy: ide like to feel something again

Bi mess: tru, ill join u

Tommy: fuk the party we’re doing a competition on who can keep their dick in boiling water the longest

Green: wild

Gay: kim if u do that im withholding sex for the next month

Bi mess: MOntH??!

Gay: yes

Bi mess: sry guys i cant do it

Tommy: understandable have a nice day

**[12:29 pm]**

**[{beT ON IT}]**

Bi mess: I need someone to teach me how to sk8t

Toon: oop-

Bi mess: im serious, I want to learn

Trailer: now isn’t the best time

Trailer: we’re in quarantine

Shego: [ https://wwhttps://www.wikihow.com/Skateboardw.wikihow.com/Skateboard ](https://www.wikihow.com/Skateboard)

Shego: here, now go to sleep

Bi mess: thx I guess

**[6:58 am]**

**[Shego changed the chat name to {Kill me baby one more time}]**

Shego: quarantine has me dead inside

Bi mess:

Shego: u bitch

Toon: dont disrespect larry slut

Shego: @Bi mess

Bi mess: imma try it

Bi mess: sry, mercury is $276 a pound lol I cant afford it

Toon: not this again

Shego: I got another

Shego:

Bi mess: yeah lmao

Trailer: for the hundredth time kim, adding lmao and lol to a depressing statement doesnt make it funny

Bi mess: hahan’t?

Trailer: hahan’t

Bi mess: T_T <UHHHH)

Toon: kim if u need to talk to anyone we’re here

Shego: ye ur sounding mildly suicidal

Bi mess: my constant mood is literally ‘never-ending simmering desire for death’ its not like I can get any worse guys

Tonn: tru

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

**[Bi mess changed Jason to Carrot]**

**[Bi mess changed Billy to Vegan]**

Carrot: why?

Bi mess: it just seemed like the right thing to do

Tommy: I need help

Green: if u need help hiding a body im down

Tommy: …

Bi mess: thats probably the most supportive thing you’ve said on this chat

Green: if I killed u all now u wouldn’t be able to spread that information

Zack: ffs

Zack: we get it

Zack: ur a top smh

Tommy: lmao yeah

Zack: problematic statement but

Zack: the tops r losers

Green: y?

Zack: there just trying to prove something to their dads

Green: I-

Tommy: oop-

Bi mess: ANywhORe

Bi mess: what did u need help with Tommy?

Tommy: hmm? oh nothing

Bi mess: …

Bi mess: what?

Tommy: I lied

Green: oop-

Bi mess: I feel so betrayed

Tommy: sucks to suck bitch

Bi mess: I was there for you in your darkest times

Bi mess: I was there for you in your darkest night

Bi mess: But I wonder, where were you?

Tommy: lmao okay drama queen

Bi mess: :(

Gay: who do I need to kill princess?

Green: how do u literally spawn out of nowhere whenever someone insults kim?

Gay: its a special gf skill which u havent acquired yet

Green: what binch? Im a good girlfriend

Gay: then y r u here instead of being with ur gf

Green: …

Green: u got me there

Green: well by bitches imma go see cupcake

**[Green went idle]**

Bi mess: huh, people can change

Gay: bb

Gay: have u checked twitter lately?

Bi mess: no y?

Zack: the people want u to release a statement about the girl u were kissing

Bi mess: oh

Carrot: go ahead kim its just to clear the air if you want

Bi mess: aight, imma get the camera

Vegan: Actually why is this my name, Kim?

Bi mess: cause vegans eat carrots

Carrot: kIM WHAT TEH HELL?

**[Bi mess went idle]**

Tommy: tea

Zack: u got anything to say for urself Jace?

Carrot: no

Gay: he’s whining just ignore him

Zack: suffering jason is best jason

**[3:28 pm]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Toon: so like

Toon: did anyone watch kims video?

Shego: kimmy forced me to watch it

Trailer: I saw it

Toon: she went off ngl

Toon: deadass I got shivers

Trailer: I mean…

Shego: she just put it all out there so idk

Shego: cupcake didnt have an issue with the video nd she has like a minimal amount of context

Bi mess: hey guys

Bi mess: oh

Bi mess: so the video was ok?

Trailer: dont worry hart it was fine

Bi mess: ok cool

Toon: listen

Toon: I just got a package delivered and I dont know whos shit is whos so rangers assemble in the livingroom pls

Bi mess: im coming

Shego: wow

Shego: yall actually order shit?

Trailer: we cant all be badass thieves with a grey moral code who can create bURNinG PLaSmA with their hands

Shego: its a gift

Toon: guys, I just pulled out a bunch of power ranger face masks and im-

Bi mess: yeah trini ordered those, im calling the pink one

Trailer: obvs I want the black

Shego: u fucking nerds got ur own face masks?

Bi mess: technically trini got it but whatever

Toon: someone also ordered all of the harry potter movies so i suggest we all regroup and watch all the movies

Bi mess: im in

Trailer: same

Shego: wish I was there ngl

Trailer: sucks to suck I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment!


	20. Wait! You have jobs?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay: If any of you hoes touch the bleach I will bite your fat cankles until they bleed out fucking pussy juice
> 
> Bi mess: …
> 
> Tommy: eye-

**[11:51 pm]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Zack: never let kim become a pilot pls

Gay: y?

Green: context?

Zack: she said that if she was a pilot nd that if another plane tried to land before her she would challenge them to a race and win

Bi mess: lol airplane go brrr

Tommy: kim doesn’t deserve to be a pilot

Bi mess: by Allah shut your mouth or I will beat u with my shoe

Tommy: I think not binch

Bi mess: I will unleash the might of the Jinns on you heathen

Tommy: jinns?

Tommy: u mean like a genie?

Bi mess: no

Bi mess: Jinns are supernatural creatures in early pre-Islamic Arabian and later Islamic mythology and theology. Like humans, they are created with fitra, neither born as believers nor as unbelievers, but their attitude depends on whether they accept God's guidance

Tommy: oooooh

Tommy: gotcha

Zack: I dont get it

Bi mess: what do u mean

Zack: if there r angels nd demons then y tf r there jinns?

Bi mess: demons dont exist in Islam

Bi mess: to us there r only angels nd jinns

Zack: so what? jinns r demons?

Green: no, as the definition said jinns r like humans since they can choose to be good or evil while angels dont have a choice

Zack: interesting

Green: ye but apparently the whole demon possession thing applies to jinns

Green: but only if u let the jinn in since the still need ur permission to do stuff to u

Tommy: oop-

Bi mess: yeah but they’re not all evil

Bi mess: the bad thing is that they can see us but we cant

Tommy: lmao imagine some jinns watching while were fucking

Green: dont ruin it

Zack: well that was an interesting bit of info

Zack: I thought everyone believed in demons

Bi mess: I mean, I dont know y Allah would make something that is inherently evil and then not expect bad things to happen so idk

Zack: it makes sense when u say it like that ig

Gay: stop talking about jinns and devils okay, they group around u when they hear people talking about them

Tommy: wHAT?

Bi mess: oh yeah tru

Tommy: TF DOYOU MEAN TRUSAFDGFHJK

Bi mess: they can crave attention just like humans

Tommy: that makes sense ig

Green: I mean isn’t life literally just anxiety and then u die? Is that what they go through?

Bi mess: idk but thats accurate

Gay: splendid now sleep

Bi mess: yes ma’am

Tommy: whipped

Gay: u too Tommy

Tommy: yes ma’am

Green: …

Zack: yes ma’am

**[2:31 am]**

Carrot: who THE FUCK turned the light on in the hallway?

Tommy: whut?

Tommy: zack and I r sleepin rn

Carrot: if you’re sleeping why are you responding

Tommy: look zack fell asleep on top of me and I can’t move so idk

Bi mess: ^3^

Tommy: wtf kim?

Bi mess: wrong chat

Carrot: are you the one who turned on the hallway light?

Bi mess: ?no??

Tommy: I smell a liar

Bi mess: ‘m not lying, im in trinis room

Tommy: y r u in trinis room?

Bi mess: none of ur business bitch

Tommy: rip me

**[10:13 am]**

Bi mess: I found bleach under the sink

Zack: bet

Tommy: yall ready for bleach shots?

Zack: bET

Gay: If any of u hoes touch the bleach I will bite ur fat cankles until they bleed out fucking pussy juice

Bi mess: …

Tommy: eye-

Zack: thoughts kim?

Bi mess: hot

Zack: yup there it is

Carrot: why were you going to drink bleach?

Carrot: istg were you all dropped on the head as children?

Tommy: who would like to do the honors?

Bi mess: me

Zack: go for it kim

Bi mess: *clears throat*

Bi mess: bold of you to assume I was even held as a child @Carrot

Carrot: …

Green: well good morning everyone, what a jovial convo I see here

Bi mess: fuck off u green ninja turtle reject

Green: I see. So you’ve chosen death

Bi mess: kill me bitch

Bi mess: bet u dont have the balls to kill me

Green: )<=@0@=>(

Bi mess: -_-

Gay: stop

Bi mess: can u give me a kiss bb? ^3^

Gay: fine ^3^

Zack: ew cute lesbninis

**[Green changed their name to Lesbninis]**

Lesbninis: eat shit and die fuckers

Bi mess: I wanna be the very best

Zack: no

Zack: stop

Zack: we are not doing this again hart do u hear me

Bi mess: :( okay

Lesbninis: do yall not have work?

Gay: I work

Bi mess: I work too

Zack: same

Tommy: ^

Carrot: we all work

Lesbninis: huh rly?

Gay: yeah I deliver pizza

Zack: ^

Tommy: ^

Bi mess: idk I work at an auto repair shop

Vegan: Jason and I work in retail

Lesbninis: interesting

Lesbninis: I just steal from banks

Bi mess: bitch wtf?

Tommy: shes literally a criminal y r u surprised?

Bi mess: idk

Lesbninis: so kim is basically a mechanic?

Bi mess: ig

Lesbninis: i see ur type trini (¬‿¬)

Gay: I banish u to the Gulag heathen

Lesbninis: I bet u want to lick the sweat off kims abs huh?

Gay: stop

Lesbninis: or do u roleplay? Where u ask her to fix something but its not ur car its ur pussy that needs fixing?

Gay: asdfghjkl

**[Gay went idle]**

Tommy: tea

Lesbninis: pussy

Bi mess: gotta gay

**[Bi mess went idle]**

Tommy: y r they like this

Zack: they horny bitches

Lesbninis: im still getting over the fact that u all have jobs aND are superheroes

Zack: basically

Zack: u wont believe the amount of people we had to save when corona started

Zack: not counting the people who were faking being kidnapped and just wanted to grind on one of us

Lesbninis: whut

Tommy: idk some people looked like they wanted to climb us no cap

Lesbninis: wow

Zack: ye

Lesbninis: where do yall live

Zack: angel groves and please never say yall again

Lesbninis: yaint

Zack: no

Lesbninis: whomst d’ve

Zack: stop

Lesbninis: whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es

Zack: aAAAHHHHAHAHAHHAHHH

Lesbninis: my work here is done

**[Lesbninis went idle]**

**[1:43 am]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Bi mess: I dont want to be that bitch

Bi mess: but

Bi mess: I walked down the hall nd the TV just turned on by itself so…

Bi mess: is someone pulling a prank on me?

Toon: tf

Toon: what do u mean the Tv tURNeD oN BY itseLF??!?!?

Bi mess: it did

Bi mess: it kind of looks like theres a person sitting on the couch but idk

Toon: fuck fuck ufkufkckfufkcncjnnkn

Bi mess: what should I do?

Toon: hold up, go on the main chat and tell everyone now!

Bi mess: aight

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Bi mess: guys theres someone in the living room

Carrot: whos in the living room?

Vegan: not me

Tommy: not it

Gay: just let me sleep

Gay: ffs

Bi mess: bb, someone is in the living room and its not us

Gay: wheres zack?

Zack: im with tommy so its not me

Gay: fuk

Bi mess: sooooo

Bi mess: whos gonna go check

Tommy: I vote kim

Zack: ^

Carrot: kim

Vegan: thank you for going to check it out Kim!

Bi mess: …

Bi mess: u little shits

Bi mess: except billy and trini

Bi mess: I love u both

Gay: thx bb but u need to go check

Vegan: thank you kim

Bi mess: relationship ended with trini, billy is my best and only friend now

Vegan: :)

Gay: whatever drama queen now go check

Bi mess: fine

Bi mess: if I die im blaming all of u

Bi mess: im gonna haunt ur asses

Zack: she went inside the living room

Tommy: do u hear anything?

Zack: no

Zack: wait fuck

Tommy: what

Zack: I just heard a scream

Tommy: idk trini just zoomed towards the living room so whoever is in there finna die soon

Zack: im going in

Vegan: be careful

Carrot: take a weapon

Zack: we r literally rangers but ok

Tommy: what do u see?

Zack: Oh my fucking god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment!


	21. Don't inhale gasoline kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi mess: wait
> 
> Bi mess: so the milk ive been drinking for over a month was sour cream?

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Zack: u bitch

Lesbninis: OwO

Zack: how dare u

Lesbninis: DwD

Carrot: what happened?

Bi mess: Shego showed up in our living room

Lesbninis: yep

Bi mess: so now she lives here I guess

Zack: what no

Lesbninis: that hurted zack

Gay: u might have corona

Lesbninis: I don’t

Gay: press x to doubt

Bi mess: lmao okay trini

Lesbninis: im serious

Lesbninis: I wouldn’t put u all in danger like that

Bi mess: I trust Shego

Lesbninis: awww

Carrot: are you sure kim?

Bi mess: yep

Gay: do u think she knows what she’s doing?

Carrot: I wouldn’t go that far

Bi mess: wow okay

**[3:23 pm]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Toon: I don’t know who did this

Toon: but someone finished all of my sour cream and I need to know how did it

Bi mess: we have sour cream?

Shego: huh?

Trailer: where did u put it?

Toon: I usually leave it in the old milk bottle

Bi mess: wait

Bi mess: so the milk ive been drinking for over a month was sour cream?

Shego: lmao

Toon: why kim

Bi mess: I thought the milk tasted funky

Bi mess: ive been living a lie

Shego: just one? Ive been living like ten

Toon: are you two okay

Bi mess: ye

Shego: sure

Trailer: I still cant believe trini let shego stay with us

Bi mess: she has a good heart

Toon: yeah ive seen u staring at her...heart

Bi mess: u wanna go bitch?

Trailer: can we just revisit the fact that kim ate sour cream thinking it was milk for a whole month?

Bi mess: I usually think things through

Toon: kim sweetie I once saw u eat a marshmallow that was on fire

Shego: ah yes the dumbass energy I came to collect

Bi mess: stop

Toon: she isn’t stupid I guess

Shego: proof?

Toon: she aced all of her exams and I mean all of them

Trailer: tommy kim literally asked me if soap had calories last week

Bi mess: zAcK

Shego: afsdgfhgjh

Bi mess: whatever imma go cuddle with trini

Toon: dont do it on the couch

Bi mess: y

Trailer: o no

Toon: kim

Toon: I AM SICK OF YOU LESBIANS, LESBIANING ON THE FUCKING COUCH!

Bi mess: sorry?

Toon: thx I guess

Shego: sooooo

Shego: what do u people do for fun?

Bi mess: we can play monopoly or risk

Shego: aight, meet in the living room folks

Toon: this sounds like it will end in a disaster

Toon: ill be there

Trailer: same

**[6:38 pm]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Gay: guys dinner is ready

Bi mess: we’re busy

Tommy: ye

Zack: ^

Lesbninis: ^

Carrot: it’ll be cold if you eat late

Bi mess: I dont care

Gay: what r u doing kim?

Bi mess: we’re playing risk

Bi mess: I conquered all of asia

Tommy: fuck u kim

Tommy: if ur happy with asia then leave my europe alone

Bi mess: no

Bi mess: I will conquer all of this fucking territory

Gay: who else is playing?

Lesbninis: I have africa and australia

Zack: I have all of america

Gay: great, leave the game there come eat then u can continue playing

Bi mess: no

Lesbninis: no

Zack: no

Tommy: no

Carrot: guys

Tommy: I need to protect europe okay? Leave me alone!

Bi mess: nd I need to steal australia from the green bitch

Lesbninis: unoriginal and fuk u

Vegan: I made ramen and kale salad

Bi mess: ur a blessing billy nd I love u we're coming

Tommy: ^

Zack: ^

Lesbninis: ^

Gay: oh so ull listen to billy?

Bi mess: sry bb but billys ramen is the best

Gay: fair

**[12:49 pm]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Bi mess: I know none of u r awake but imma go inhale some gasoline now

Bi mess: peace

**[6:12 am]**

Toon: oh my-

Shego: what the fuk kim

Trailer: where is she?

Shego: off to snort some gasoline apparently

Trailer: oh fuk

Toon: is it that bad?

Trailer: it counts as an inhalant

Trailer: and the side effects r problems with attention, memory, and problem-solving, dementia, nephritis, and tubular necrosis

Toon: that sounds copy-pasted

Shego: mate I used to sniff glue and gasoline as a kid now look at me I'm fucking green

Toon: cant argue with that

Shego: do you have a garage here or smth?

Trailer: im heading down rn to stop kim

Shego: good luck ig

**[6:16 am]**

Trailer: so I found kim

Toon: is she okay?

Trailer: her nose is bleeding a lot but she’s conscious I guess

Shego: fuk, make her lay down with her head upside down to keep the blood inside

Toon: should we tell trini?

Shego: yes

Toon: ur serious?

Shego: guys this is fucking serious if kim keeps doing this she could die

Toon: from inhaling gasoline?

Trailer: inhalants are still drugs tom

Toon: ooooh gotcha

Toon: lets go snitch

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Zack: @Gay

Gay: what

Zack: we found kim in the garage inhaling gasoline

Gay: …

Gay: ur kidding

Lesbninis: sadly no, we managed to stop her before anything bad happened but her nose is bleeding pretty badly

Gay: fuck

Gay: take her to my room ill take it from here

Lesbninis: sure

Carrot: has kim been doing this for a long time?

Tommy: idk but it seems serious

Lesbninis: its going to be hard to do anything more since there's a fucking pandemic happening

Tommy: yup

Carrot: well shego, since you have battled with addiction before maybe you can speak to kim about it

Lesbninis: okay I guess

Zack: alright

Zack: kim is going to be fine for now but we need to lock the garage door at night in case she does this again

Vegan: tell Kim that I am making Tikka Masala for her

Zack: ur a fucking saint billy thank you

Vegan: I try :)

Gay: Okay, what was that? Why did she do that?

Vegan: I am a little worried as well. Usually, people turn to drugs and such when they are extremely depressed.

Lesbninis: Can confirm

Tommy: is it possible that terfs r messaging her still?

Gay: if that’s the case we need to make a public announcement as the rangers

Lesbninis: or I could start burning people

Gay: no, we are superheroes so we can try to put an end to this

Lesbninis: fair

Zack: either way someone needs to talk to kim

Lesbninis: im the one who has the most experience with this so ill do it

Gay: thank u shego

Lesbninis: no prob

Gay: well, kim is napping rn so billy can u please put her food in a container

Vegan: I will trini

Gay: thx

Zack: great, can we go play monopoly now?

Gay: sure

Zack: lit, let’s go squad

Tommy: aight

Lesbninis: I call the plane piece

Tommy: fuck

Tommy: make sure to tell us when Kim wakes up cause she’s gonna get the best pep-talk she’s ever gotten in her life

Gay: okay real talk

Gay: I know I insult u guys alot but

Gay: you really are good friends

Zack: awww

Tommy: T_T thnk u trini

Lesbninis: I think im going to cry

Gay: alright, imma go lay next to kim so bye fuckers

Zack: annnd shes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to leave a comment!


	22. What happened here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shego: I’d like to take the time to say that my worth as a bad bitch is not characterized by my inability to play a game as stupid as cubes
> 
> Bi mess: its called minecraft u ignorant slut
> 
> Toon: eye-

**[1:59 pm]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Bi mess: so

Bi mess: thanks for helping me guys

Tommy: no prob kim

Zack: yeah, can u just explain y u did that

Bi mess: idk, gasoline just smells lit

Lesbninis: cant fault u there

Gay: kim, never do that again okay?

Bi mess: kay

Bi mess: sorry if I worried u

Zack: anyways

Zack: we just got an alert that some putty were spotted near the cliff soo

Tommy: go go power rangers

Lesbninis: ffs

Lesbninis: im going with u

Bi mess: yes

Carrot: let's move out team

Bi mess: I hate when he does that but sure

Tommy: lmao

**[3:23 pm]**

Lesbninis: I don’t want to sound hypocritical since I worked with someone who had fucking blue skin but

Lesbninis: y do the putties look like that?

Gay: like what?

Lesbninis: like fucking

Lesbninis: failed lab experiments or smth

Vegan: it is quite possible that they are in fact failed lab experiments

Lesbninis: huh

Bi mess: does anyone want to play minecraft with me

Zack: what the fuck kim

Bi mess: dont act like u dont hype up tommy whenever they’re fighting anything in minecraft

Zack: …

Lesbninis: wig

Zack: shut up

Lesbninis: well kim I would like to play

Bi mess: cool

Lesbninis: im gonna fucking bury you

Bi mess: …

Bi mess: do u know what minecraft is?

Lesbninis: not in the slightest

Bi mess: great

Bi mess: meet me in the living room and ill show you how it works

Gay: seeing them act like normal human beings is so weird to me

Zack: ur? Literally?? Dating??? Kim???

Gay: still

Bi mess: fair

**[7:12 pm]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Shego: I’d like to take the time to say that my worth as a bad bitch is not characterized by my inability to play a game as stupid as cubes

Bi mess: its called minecraft u ignorant slut

Toon: eye-

Shego: whatever, imma show you how to play assassins creed and laugh when you fail

Bi mess: bet

Bi mess: sounds like a stupid game anyways

Trailer: no kim

Trailer: its the best fucking game I have ever played

Bi mess: okay but you only play a total of three games

Bi mess: Fortnite, COD and that

Trailer: whatever

Shego: what AC do u have?

Trailer: the first one the Ezio trilogy and the third

Shego: lit

Shego: imma stick kim with ac II

Trailer: lit

Bi mess: what?

Shego: dont worry about it

Bi mess: I worry a lot actually

Shego: lmao okay

**[2:26 am]**

Toon: guys

Shego: what

Toon: Am I the only one who can hear knocking coming from my bathroom?

Bi mess: uh

Bi mess: why is my bathroom making sounds?

Shego: adsgfhgjhkh MINE TOO

Toon: um should we tell Jace?

Shego: waitwaitwait

Shego: wHY THE FUCK IS THERE KNOCKING SOUNDS COMING FROM INSIDE MY BATHROOM????DS1GFHFJ

Bi mess: im scared

Bi mess: trini is still sleeping idk how

Toon: trin could sleep through an earthquake and u cant prove me otherwise

Bi mess: is zack with u?

Toon: ye

Toon: he grabbed a broom and told me to go check whats in the bathroom

Toon: I am now debating breaking up with him

Bi mess: pls dont

Bi mess: u two r good for eachother

Toon: lmao I know its just

Toon: fsdghjkl I dont want to go in there

Shego: wait

Shego: we all have superpowers right

Toon: mhm

Bi mess: ye

Shego: so I want each of you to go in your bathroom, guns blazing and kill whatever is in there

Bi mess: tight

Toon: onwards men

Shego: It is an honor to die protecting u all comrades

Toon: same

Bi mess: ^ now lets go

**[3:23 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Lesbninis: I can’t believe we were woken up in the middle of the night by some spirit bullshit

Zack: bloody mary

Lesbninis: all because ZaCKarY TayLOR decided to play fucking bLOOdy mARy in his bathroom while we were playing games!?

Zack: sounds about right

Tommy: why

Tommy: u almost gave kim a heart attack

Zack: dont u mean a hart attack?

Lesbninis: u deserve punishment

Tommy: I will break up with u dont test me taylor

Bi mess: oop-

Zack: shut up kim

Bi mess: I can’t believe Jason, Billy and Trini slept through all of the screaming

Gay: I am tired

Bi mess: understandable have a nice day

Gay: its ur fault

Bi mess: love u too bb

Gay: *exaggerated sigh*

Gay: love u too

Lesbninis: smh whens the wedding?

Bi mess: when we’re done with college

Tommy: oh u have a date?

Bi mess: no

Bi mess: I just want the timing to be perfect when I marry trini

Zack: shes blushing btw

Gay: no im not

Bi mess: u r

Gay: …

Gay: stop

Bi mess: k

Gay: good, now go to sleep

Lesbninis: …

**[7:34 am]**

Zack: lesbiams what is ur wisdom?

Lesbninis: be gay do crimes

Gay: kiss women

Bi mess: invest in silver

Zack: I know that kim is bi but thats rly good wisdom so ill let it slide

Carrot: well good morning to you all

Bi mess: begone tHOT

Carrot: …

Tommy: lmao

Zack: get rekt

Carrot: I retract my comment

Lesbninis: >;3c

Tommy: eye-

Gay: shut up all of u

Zack: someone ain’t getting laid. Kim?

Bi mess: idk she’s just horny

Gay: I will flay u alive

Bi mess: then who’d fuck u?

Gay: …

Lesbninis: y am I invested in this?

Zack: lol instead of investing in silver kim should have invested in her relationship

Gay: kim

Bi mess: h-hewoo yes?

Gay: if ur not in my room in three minutes I will burn all of ur Funko pop figurines

Bi mess: omw

Tommy; what the fuck guys?

Zack: why aren’t u ever like that Tommy?

Tommy: because I don’t withhold sex from u but whatever I guess

Lesbninis: I-I'm gonna go see cupcake

Lesbninis: peace

Zack: is that code for sex or am I crazy

Tommy: idk

Tommy: do u have the headphones cause its about to get LOUD in this house

Carrot: not again

Zack: lmao return of suffering Jason

Carrot: I would rather not hear of Kim and Trinis exploits

Tommy: fair

Tommy: we have extra headphones if u want

Carrot: thank you

Vegan: I made pancakes!

Zack: Billy ur a saint

Vegan: :)


	23. But we still got gyros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack: de do de daa de da doska
> 
> Bitch: skeebududadee debadedo de deo
> 
> Gay: what the fuck

**[11:27 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Zack: wait

Zack: trini was kim the first person u ever dated?

Gay: yes?

Zack: and kim how many people have u dated?

Bi mess: like five?

Zack: So u were dating Ty while banging Amanda and now ur dating a girl who’s never dated anyone besides u

Zack: ur such a player Hart

Bi mess: what can I say, no one besides trini is able to tie me down

Tommy: I cant tell if ur serious or not and that scares me

Lesbninis: ffs at least wait until after lunch before starting with ur bullshit

**[Zack changed Lesbninis to Bitch]**

Bitch: fair

Bi mess: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G53ncdAqzak ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G53ncdAqzak)

Tommy: I-

Zack: de do de daa de da doska

Bitch: skeebududadee debadedo de deo

Gay: what the fuck

Bi mess: this is art

Gay: that is garbage

Bi mess: that hurted

Gay: good

**[7:58 pm]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Bi mess: guys

Toon: what?

Bi mess: you know that huge beam on top of the very high building in the middle of town?

Toon: yes?

  
Trailer: Shego tied us to the beam and now we’re stuck

Toon: …

Toon: I’d like to say that this isn’t normal behavior but honestly I’m not surprised

Bi mess: thx now help

Toon: ur a ranger, get down urself

Bi mess: I would but

Trailer: we’re afraid of heights and we’re tied up really tightly

Toon: Kim? U?? Literally??? Fly a giant???? Pterodactyl?????

Bi mess: hmm

Bi mess: tru

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Bi mess: zack and I r tied to a beam in the city help

Gay: uh

Tommy: apparently it was Shego’s fault

Carrot: onward team

Bi mess: I really hate it when he says that

**[8:03 pm]**

Tommy: sagdfhgjhkj Jason took one look at zack and kim and left

Gay: what the fuck jace?

Carrot: I need a salary to deal with this

Zack: sry ur not an essential worker

Gay: wow, she tied u up really well

Bi mess: ye she was reading a book about bondage or smth

Gay: …

Gay: what?

Zack: the question is

Zack: is she reading so that she can tie up kim or let kim tie her up

Tommy: she already tied kim up dumbass

Bi mess: not me her gf

Gay: @Bitch can we know y u tied zack and kim to the tallest building in our town?

Bitch: hello trini, first things first, your girlfriend is a son of a bitch who doesn’t know how to keep her small nose out of other people’s business. I shouldn’t need to tell you what she did but since you are most likely innocent I will indulge you. Kim walked in on me having a skype call with cupcake and began making loud moaning sounds and when I told her to stop she didn’t so now she’s in time out

Bitch: The same can be said about your boyfriend Tommy. Zack needs to stop acting like a little bitch if he ever wishes to NOT be a bottom for the rest of his life. This little bitch ate MY lasagna five days in a row and had the gall to ask me to make more lasagna with less spices like nEWS FlaSH bitCH the lasagna wasn’t for you anyway.

Bitch: and now he is in time out too -End statment

Gay: …

Carrot: …

Vegan: oh

Vegan: so that’s why there’s lasagna all over the kitchen

Carrot: ...I’m leaving

**[1:12 am]**

Gay: oh shit we forgot about kim and zack!

**[12:54 am]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Bi mess: so I managed to cut myself out of the rope but I didn’t think things through

Toon: lmao nothing new

Bi mess: so now im limping home with zack but I have a broken arm and zack may or may not have broken both of his legs

Bi mess: oh and I also stopped to get gyro on the way

Toon: …

Shego:

Toon: bitch WTFDFJGSHKJLBHLJUIVERECO

Bi mess: im at the door

Bi mess: open sesame

Toon: im coming downstairs u idiot

Toon: fml

Toon: trini is gonna kill me

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Vegan: did we expect any deliveries?

Gay: no

Vegan: then why is there a lump of flesh in front of our doorstep?

Gay: i-

Gay: you mean a person?

Vegan: two to be exact

Tommy: thats just kim and zack

Gay: wHAT?

Tommy: yea they kind of fell off the thing so now they have broken bones and shit

Gay: …

Gay: I’m coming for ur ass shego

Bitch: oh no

Tommy: u brought this on urself

Bitch: whatever

Bitch: they deserved it

Vegan: They brought gyros for all of us!

Bitch: nvm I forgive them

Bi mess: knew u wouldn’t be mad at me forever

Zack: we even got it with extra sauce and chili

Bitch: ooh u guys

Bitch: fuk

Bi mess: what happened?

Tommy: trini got her

Bi mess: f

Zack: f

Tommy: f

Bi mess: anyways

Bi mess: help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you have any suggestions!


	24. Can I write a chapter without any bullshit?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack: what would we be without her?
> 
> Tommy: safe?
> 
> Zack: not with kim in the house

**[1:13 am]**

**[Amanda entered {We gay keep scrolling}]**

Amanda: hey bitch

MJ: hi

Amanda: who are you?

MJ: ur worse nightmare

Amanda: kim is on this chat right?

MJ: @Dicaprio there’s some weird bitch here who wants to talk to u

Dicaprio: hmm?

Dicaprio: oh

Dicaprio: hi amanda

Amanda: hey bitch why are you not responding to my messages?

Dicaprio: um…

Dicaprio: because ur bad for my mental health?

Amanda: you know you deserve it

MJ: aight back up

MJ: who tf r u?

Dicaprio: shes an ex

MJ: damn

MJ: u really dated the worst pieces of shit before trini huh kim?

Dicaprio: yep

Amanda: excuse me

Amanda: I never asked for your opinion bitch

MJ: I gave it to you for free be humble slut

Amanda: whatever, respond to my texts kim

Dicaprio: can we kick her out?

MJ: ye

Amanda: bitch you ruined my life

Amanda: the least you can do is take the beating like a man

MJ: listen here you little whore

MJ: you better check yourself before I come over there and beat your ass up

Amanda: you don’t scare me

MJ: Oh no

MJ: try again bitch

MJ: I bet ur the type of bitch that sleeps with her teacher to get good grades

Dicaprio: oh my god iS THAT WHY MR JENSEN WAS ALWAYS GIVING YOU THAT DTF LOOK??!?!?!?!?

MJ: eye-

Amanda: shut up kim

Dicaprio: amanda did u sleep with ur teacher for a good grade?

Amanda: this isn’t about me

MJ: denial

Amanda: whatever

Amanda: kim is the one being a little bitch

Amanda: all im doing is insulting you but you ruined my reputation

Dicaprio: …

MJ: all right thats it

MJ: maybe kim really fuck you up, well too bad

MJ: everyone gets fucked up in life bitch so suck it up and live with it

MJ: what is hating on kim gonna do? Make u feel better about yourself? Get real

MJ: this is only proving what a dick sucking whore you are, now I banish u to the Gulag

**[MJ removed Amanda from {We gay keep scrolling}]**

Dicaprio: thx shego

MJ: anytime

Dicaprio: my armkle hurts tho

MJ: ...

MJ: ur what?

Dicaprio: armkle

MJ: in english please

Dicaprio: uh

Dicaprio: wrist?

MJ: I dont know why I expected more

MJ: hows ur arm btw

Dicaprio: it hurts

Dicaprio: trini says that its broken

MJ: well duh

Dicaprio: T_T

MJ: chill

MJ: billy promised to make ramen for dinner today

Dicaprio: trini is probably gonna feed me

MJ: u broke one of your arms not both

Dicaprio: hmm, u wanna binge b99?

MJ: meet in the living room in 5

Dicaprio: be there or be square

**[11:48 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Bi mess: y u gotta be so cruel?

Bi mess: I did everything for u

Gay: shut up

Tommy: what happened here?

Gay: kim is upset because I told her that she isn’t allowed to play video games

Tommy: u literally cant use both hands, how r u gonna play with a console?

Bi mess: I have my ways

Bitch: did u tell trini about amanda kim?

Gay: what

Bi mess: bitcH TF??/?

Gay: what is she talking about kim?

Bi mess: amanda texted me in the gc and said stuff

Bi mess: but apparently she slept with a teacher so idk

Zack: that bitch would do that

Carrot: I though you blocked her

Bi mess: eh

Bi mess: I didn’t exactly block her

Bi mess: I just ignored her messages

Zack: attagirl now block her

Bi mess: kk

Gay: kim if that bitch tries to drag you down with her tell me

Gay: I’ll beat her ass

Bi mess: aww thx bb

Bi mess: ill block her

Bitch: great

Bitch: so I stole a cat from our neighbors and he’s camped out in Jasons room

Bitch: just a heads up

Carrot: you took a what from our what?

Bitch: a cat? From our neighbors??

Carrot: and the cat is in my what?

Bitch: are u illiterate? Its in ur room

Carrot: …

Carrot: not on my watch

**[Carrot went idle]**

Bitch: leave Mr. Cuddles alone you prick!!!

**[Bitch went idle]**

Zack: Mr. Cuddle?

Tommy: this can't end well

Gay: yeah well kim and I are staying in our room so deal with the issue yourself

Tommy: I love the moral backbone of this team, dont u zack?

Zack: yeah, we have trini who only cares about what kim does

Zack: kim who does whatever with u and I

Zack: jason who yells at everyone

Zack: and billy who is too pure for this place

Tommy: u forgot our resident arsonist

Tommy: shego

Zack: ah yes

Zack: what would we be without her?

Tommy: safe?

Zack: not with kim in the house

Bi mess: guess I won’t let u use my ps4 again

Zack: wait no-

Bi mess: too late bitch

Tommy: get rekt

Zack: fuck u kim

Bi mess: okay sour candy

Bitch: fuck

Bitch: that song is the shit

Tommy: what?

Bi mess: for someone who loves lady gaga more than life u really don’t keep up with her stuff do u?

Tommy: shE MADE A NEW SONG?/!!1?!!?

Bi mess: a new aLBuM bitch

Tommy: send me the link to this masterpiece

Bi mess: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fc2qWBIToKU>

Bi mess: listen to it its lit

Tommy: I will thx

Zack: whoever said music doesn’t bring people together?

Bitch: im going to ignore the fact that u called me an arsonist because its true tbh

Zack: thanks I guess


	25. Someone snitched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi mess: can yall send me an uber?
> 
> Bi mess: I don’t want to go anywhere but I’ll pay $500 for it to run me over

**[1:43 am]**

**[{KIll me baby one more time}]**

Shego: I’m going to hooters

Bi mess: I hate my life and I don’t want to live so I’m gonna put a fork in the electric socket

Bi mess:  **a̶̧̦͚̥̳̜̗̠̩͚͒͛͆͌̓͊̊̿̕ǎ̗͎̣̥͔̤̃̿̊͌̐͐̋͟͜͝͡ą̼̟̖͔̯̘̬̭͓̌̑͂̿̚͞͝͞͡Ą̡̛̝̺̟̦̱̜͛͋̋̊͌̍͐̇͘͢A̴̟̪̼͚̲͋͊̉̄̃͌̿́͠A̶̩͍̝̭̬̞̖̜̿͒͋͗͛̍̇̐͘͘Ä̸̢͓̩͈̈́̈̀̽̚̚͢Ȧ̵͚͙̮̦͉̪̝̫̌̿͗͒͆͊͜͠À̟͍̬͔̪̝͍̫̈́̈́͑̈̀̚Ḫ̦̥̞͓̬̟̒̽͢͝͡͝H̴̢̪̥̘̹̑̾͊̚Ḩ̛̲͚̫̙̱̩̻̑͒̿̑͞H̛̪̘̳̰̪̉̍͂̑̂͠Ĥ̸̺̞̞͕͕̖͖̅̍̚̕H̩̩̥̫͈͖̠́͑̔̊̑̑̂̑͘̕H̴̙͇̗̯̗̱̾̽͌̅͋̽̄͜͝͡H̴̯̦̬̦̼̉̃̓͘͜H̢̢̥̞̫́̑́̅͆̎͆̆͂͜͜͞H̢̰̩̜͈̪͉͓͍̙͑̑̑̊̈̚H̴̡͍̻̻̯̓̋͒̎͆͌͒̓͢͠H̨̛̫̞̪̰̘̲̙̰̿͆̂͋͊̀͘͢͠H̶̢͚͍͖̭̻̮̞̿̑̊͑͗̎̌̈́͘͟͞H̭̟͖͍̻̱̬̮͑̾̌̃͋̃̃̿H̵̜͔̖̠̄̈́͛̑̌͟H̷̰̹̻̞̜̰̯̒͐̍͋̅̐̓͋͡͞ͅH̛̤̬̲̬̹̦͙̣̉̌̉̎̓̚͘H̸̢͈̖͈͈͙̙̼̼͊͂̋̐̑̎͒͛͢͝H̷͕̮̯̦̝̯͉̀̽̆͛Ḩ̛̫͍̲͖̙͂́̕̕͜͠H̸̢̜̺̹̟̗̗̺͛̓̓̐̓̒̅͗̏̕H̩͎̘̦̭̦̦̀̽͑̒̉̉H̘̜̟̠͉̼̋̅́͞Ḣ̵͓͙͇̞̗̪̖̤̗̌̏̈̈́͞͡H̵̨̢̘̹̻̔̌͛́͗̏͜H̶̬͕̙͉̯̣͐̋̿̏͌͆̈͢͞**

Shego: …

Trailer: ah yes

Trailer: my daily dose of depressing energy

Toon: kim

Toon: sweetie

Toon: stop doing that

Bi mess: k

Toon: why r u awake this early anyway?

Bi mess: sleep is gods propaganda

Toon: …

Trailer: eye-

Bi mess: im also in town so...

Bi mess: can yall send me an uber?

Bi mess: I don’t want to go anywhere but I’ll pay $500 for it to run me over

Shego: im gonna talk to trini if u keep doing this shit

Bi mess: imma go jump off a tower

Shego: im telling

Toon: do a flip

Shego: why

Bi mess: because im bi and ready to die!

Shego: im getting trini

Bi mess: no wait-

**[9:12 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Tommy: so im currently watching shego and kim trying and failing to load the dishwasher

Zack: lol how many sapphics does it take to load a dishwasher?

Tommy: idk honestly

Tommy: they just broke like three plate

Gay: it’s a good thing im a moronsexual or I probably would have dumped kim a long time ago

Bi mess: Excuse me but this moron managed to pilot a giant pterodactyl meka on her first try

Gay: hmm but ur also afraid of heights

Bi mess: irrelevant

**[12:23 am]**

Bi mess: uh guys

Bi mess: I got hurt fighting some putties in town and im bleeding but

Bi mess: my blood is green fsr

Carrot: what? How?

Bi mess: idk

Bi mess: I never really realized that it was like that

Zack: actually yeah

Zack: that time u got a bloody nose ur blood was kind of green so idk

Gay: and you didn’t think that tHIS WAS IMPORTANT INFORMATION?!?!??

Zack: nah

Zack: we’re rangers

Zack: this shit happens all the time

Gay: That doesn’t explain why Kim’s blood is fucking green?

Bi mess: I mean

Bi mess: shego is literally green but ok

Bitch: this ain’t about me Hart

Bi mess: hmm

Bi mess: I mean

Bi mess: we can cut you all open and see if our blood is different

Zack: ill pass

Tommy: ditto

Bi mess: pussy

Carrot: whatever, as long as kim isn’t hurt this isn’t a pressing issue

Bi mess: im hurt but sure

**[10:23 pm]**

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BREAKS}]**

Bi mess: I don’t want to sound patronizing but

Bi mess: I need ur help sombra

Sombra: huh haven’t heard of u in a while chica

Bi mess: sry but I need help

Sombra: I guess id be willing to cash in a few favors for you amiga

Bi mess: lit

Bi mess: So someone caught me on video demorphing and posted the video so like can u delete it or smth before people see it?

Sombra: uh

Sombra: I can delete the video but people would have probably already downloaded it and seen it by the time I do

Bi mess: oh

Bi mess: shit

Kims’ property: why do u do this every time hart?

Bi mess: I try not to but shit happens

Bi mess: this is punishment for skipping prayer this morning isn’t it?

Tommy: lol

Bi mess: dont lol me bitch Jason is going to kill me

Zack: lmao what can u do at this point?

Bi mess: im gonna die

Bi mess: Amanda & co r gonna have a field day with this

Sombra: how is this bad though? You basically save them from shit, shouldn’t they be thankful?

Bi mess: u dont understand

Bi mess: a few weeks ago they caught the pink ranger kissing trini so if people realize that im the pink ranger they’ll know that trini is the yellow ranger

Kims’ property: this is u jumping to a lot of conclusions but okay

Bi mess: uUUUUUUUUUUUUGJDHGFLKJ

Tracer: hi what happened?

Gay tsunami: I though this chat was ‘dead’?

Bi mess: I needed advice but fuk me I guess

Tracer: this will cheer you up

Tracer:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAwFVibypVM ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAwFVibypVM)

Bi mess: …

Bi mess: it did

Kims’ property: I-

Gay tsunami: chérie why?

Tracer: oy it made kim happy!

Sombra: enjoy this then 

Sombra:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k85mRPqvMbE ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k85mRPqvMbE)

Tommy: amateur

Tommy:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6h5vKIA3gk ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6h5vKIA3gk)

Zack:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

Bi mess: why zack?

Kims’ property: is it bad that I recognized the URL?

Tommy: no it just means that ur a meme veteran

Bi mess: solid reasoning im glad we’ve come this far

Zack: I like my memes like I like my partners

Zack: tight and reusable

Kims’ property: …

Kims’ property: that threw me off ngl

Bi mess: lmao I like my men like I like my women

Tommy: wut?

Bi mess: thats the fucking joke dumbass

Tommy: wait u think im reusable zack?

Zack: yeah

Zack: u can go several rounds if u know what I mean

Tommy: thats not what reusable means but ill take it

Tommy: I deadass pulled a muscle last time

Kims’ property: you cant pull what u dont have

Bi mess: oh shit

Tommy: listen here u little binch

Tommy: I have probably fought about a thousand non-recyclable life-size clay action figures that hit like a fucking truck in the past year

Tommy: I also used to go to the gym every other day and now I work out at home every day

Tommy: so dont u dare come in my house and tell me that I have no muscles

Zack: go off babe

Kims’ property: aight I was in the wrong sry tom

Tommy: it’s fine

Sombra: okay I deleted the video but people r already aware of ur identity

Sombra: sorry amiga

Bi mess: fuk me

Bi mess: whatever

Bi mess: im gonna go have some coffee

Kims’ property: get decaf

Bi mess: suddenly I cant read

Bi mess: peace

**[7:26 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Zack: why r u like this shego?

Tommy: what

Zack: so I walked into the kitchen and shego was there putting honey in her tea

Zack: and she said and I quote

Zack: ‘Get in the leaf juice u creamy bee sauce’

Bi mess: SADGFHJKHLASDTHAT BITCHWOULDDOTHATSHDGFKJLG

Bitch: what?

Tommy: please never say that again

Bitch: fine I guess

Gay: can someone please tell me why my mother just asked me if im dating a superhero?

Bi mess: gotta blast

**[Bi mess went idle]**

Gay: what?

Zack: what exactly happened with ur mom trin?

Gay: she sat me down and said ‘I know what you’re hiding from me’

Gay: And I didn’t know if she meant the gay thing or the superhero thing but then she said ‘I know ur dating the pink ranger, who also happens to be Kimberly’

Gay: so I got confused but she didn’t press me for anything else she just got up and left

Zack: yeah kim accidentally yeeted her identity out the window

Carrot: kiM DID WHAT?

Tommy: oop-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment!


	26. They lesbianing together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy: what have I just witness?
> 
> Human torch but different: the bare essentials of their relationship

**[8:43 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Bi mess: I’ve come to the conclusion that we can all be summed up in one sentence

Zack: hit me with it

Bi mess: well trini is ‘protective wife’

Bi mess: tommy is ‘gender? I don’t know her’

Bi mess: Zack is ‘himbo rights’

Bi mess: Billy is ‘pure babyboi’

Bi mess: Jason is ‘I joined a business full of crackheads’

Bi mess: and shego is ‘human torch but different’

Tommy: I-

Tommy: actually have nothing to say about that but

Tommy: what r u then?

Bi mess: ←

Tommy: understandable

**[Bitch changed Bitch to Human torch but different]**

Human torch but different: Kim snet me this nd im cryien

Human torch but different: pls watch  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5DoqH3wMiw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5DoqH3wMiw)

Zack: our kim?

Bi mess: no her gf dumbass

Tommy: **y̡̛͖͎̯͚̺͆͊͊͘O͍̮͖̯̺͇̺̹̗̟̐̐͌̔̉̍̀̍U̟͇͔̽̋͆̇̽̉̌͢͞ͅ Ţ̢̤͚̘̎̓̿͂̒́͢H̘̭̯̝̠̜̫̀̉̾̈̓̃i̴̡̫̗̤̙̼̫͔̝̋̇̂̐͗͗̓͡ͅN̷͇͇̹̤̰͙̞̐̍̈̉̒̔̉̆͑͑k̶̦͇̘̝̣͎̈̄̾͛͌̈́̾͝ Î̬̪̪͚̥͑̃̓̂̚̚̚͜͠͞ K̶̖̺̜̙͚͚̫̖͑͋͗͑͜͜N̷͓̞͚̳͔̓͊̊̅̅͞ǫ̩̫̺̲̺̜̯͈̈́̆̌̋͢W͈͕͓̱̱͇̘̖̃͌̾̌̾̍͆͞͞ Ẅ̴̬̥̟̯̼̹͌̎́̑͢H̡̢͎̟̲̯̤͓̭͚́̈̃͠͡a̷̠͖̬̜͍͉̼͛̄̍̌̆̃̊̚͜͢T̢̝̤̗̱̩͖̱̊̂̉̓͆̕͜ͅ A̢͖̘̭̳͐̌̈̈͋̚̕͢ P̶͇̜̞̘͕̥̓̏͊̽̒̒́̉͂͊͢͢a̶̛̲͔̟͕̱̅͗̃͐̉̅Ṅ̵̖̼͕̪̖̩̝̣̈͘͢Ị̖̼͈̠͇̃̍̋͑̊̏͜ņ̸͉͍͕͉͇͉̆̾͊͑̓̀̄̓͠Ị̷̧̨̲̤̭͍̯̇̄͛̈́̀̌͝͡ İ̸̖̳̱͍̠̻̥͎̉̓̕Ŝ̨̟͙͇͉̪͓̥͈̇͌́͐͟?̷̧̛̮̲̗̗̖͍͖̋͋̕**

Human torch but different: wHY ArE You BUYinG clOTHeS aT The SOuP StoRE?

Bi mess: THey’LL TakE My wiFe IF I dON’T brING TheM bURGer

Gay: you people are a menace

Zack: C O M P O U N D

Tommy: lmao imagine ordering a fucking burger at Starbucks

Bi mess: cAN I gEt a BURgeR EXtrA DIP

Zack: oh god that was priceless thx shego

Human torch but different: I aim to please

Carrot: kim we still need to talk about the fact that you outed your identity

Bi mess: gotta blast

Carrot: kim no

Bi mess: whoops?

Carrot: Whoops? WHOOPS? This is not a “whoops” situation We are far past whoops Whoops is a distant speck in the rearview mirror We are solidly in “oh fuck” territory, and I expect you to act like it

Carrot: can you be serious for five minutes?

Bi mess: my personal record is two minutes and twenty-nine seconds and that was only because I was crying for half of that time

Carrot: …

Human torch but different: deep

Gay: kim, please

Bi mess: ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Gay: this is serious

Bi mess: ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Gay: fine

Gay: ᕕ( ಠ_ಠ)ᕗ

Tommy: what have I just witness?

Human torch but different: the bare essentials of their relationship

**[9:12 am]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Bi mess: lmao someone just walked up to me and thanked me for saving their mother during one of the puttie attack things

Toon: lit

Trailer: a true hero

Bi mess: idk

Toon: oh oh I need to tell you something

Shego: hmm?

Toon: so last night zack found out that I know how to speak french

Bi mess: ye

Trailer: tommy pls no

Toon: so he told me to speak french in the bedroom and I CoulDN’t SToP LAugHInG

Trailer: dont

Toon: and I told zack that all I could imagine was someone yelling bonjour at a pussy

Trailer: ye well u still fucked me so it was a win in my book

Toon: of course bb

Bi mess: SJGDAHFKGL im gonna do that to trini

Shego: the absolute mad lad

Bi mess: im going

Trailer: o fuk

Toon: kim

Toon: KIM

Shego: KIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

**[9:29 am]**

Bi mess: im back

Shego: u good?

Toon: how did she react?

Bi mess: she said she would take me out

Bi mess: idk if she means take me out on a date or kill me but I am extremely turned on rn

Toon: ffs rly?

Bi mess: yeah

Shego: ur stupidity amazes me everyday

Bi mess: yeah well if I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb all the way up to your ego and drop down to your IQ level

Shego: I cant even be angry cause that was a good line

Trailer: lol I just ran into a karen during work

Bi mess: 0_0 what happened

Trailer: so like this woman was trying to come into the pizza store without a mask so I told her that she wasn’t allowed in unless she put a mask on

Trailer: and she told me that she had a health condition that meant that she couldnt wear a mask and I told her that she still wasnt allowed in

Trailer: she then told me that it was a very serious health condition so I told her that I had asthma and that I still wear my mask and that she wasnt special

Trailer: she threatened to call the manager and I told her that she could do whatever she wanted but she wasn’t going to step one foot in the store unless she wore a mask

Trailer: she left and the other employees made me a free pizza for my trouble

Shego: Surprise surprise the world is still on some b u l l s h i t

Bi mess: o wow

Bi mess: maybe I should do something

Bi mess: as the pink ranger I can just walk around with a spray bottle and spray people who dont wear masks while yelling ‘oH ALlaH pLeaSE CLeanSE ThIS HeATheN oF THE hARaM THEY haVE COMMittED!!’

Toon: do that pls

Toon: ill film it and ull be internet famous

Bi mess: make it a tik tok

Shego: fuck yeah

Trailer: I am now fully convinced that kim isn’t a mortal

Shego: wut?

Toon: explain

Trailer: look taking into account everything that she has done she cant be human

Bi mess: thats not proof

Trailer: I once saw u order a venti drink at starbucks filled with only espresso shots and drink it in less than ten seconds

Trailer: lets also not forget the time you actually shoved your dick in a burning cup of coffee

Trailer: and NoW you want to go around spraying people with water? though I enjoy the idea

Bi mess: …

Bi mess: u got me there

Shego: hmm

**[12:32 pm]**

**[{THE FUCK TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES}]**

Kims’ property: does anyone have anxiety prime

Kims’ property: *amazon prime

Gay tsunami: I have both I believe

Bi mess: …

Gay tsunami: I live with lena what did you expect

Bi mess: fair

Kims’ property: great I need to order some shit

Gay tsunami: I cant help you

Kims’ property: wow okay

Kims’ property: ill ask cupcake or smth

Zack: I want to stab a karen

Sombra: I would usually agree but that is, how do you say it in american? Illegal?

Zack: Im tired of seeing Karens who expect immediate service from a fucking pizza parlor when U AND UR SON ARENT EVEN WEARING A DAMN MASK BITCH!!

Tommy: sis went off

Gay tsunami: I am suddenly glad that I work with Overwatch

Bi mess: guys jason is looking for us so its time to scatter

Tommy: oh fuk

Kims’ property: peace

Tracer: why are they always so chaotic

Gay tsunami: you say that as if we aren't chérie

Tracer: got me there

**[1:12 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Carrot: kim give me the TV remote

Bi mess: give me my yellow ranger funko pop and ill consider it

Carrot: fine

Zack: that was short-lived

Bi mess: Also give me back my penguin plushie

Carrot: kim-

Bi mess: give it back or ill eat ur shower curtains

Carrot: they’re glass

Bi mess: well crunch crunch bitch you think that’s gonna stop me?

Human torch but different: that just reminded me that I like crunchy peanut butter

Bi mess: …

Bi mess: why

Human torch but different: it reminds me that I have teeth

Bi mess: disappointed but not surprised

Gay: tommy get your fucking cat

Tommy: hmm?

Gay: your fucking monster of a cat killed billy’s parrot and now its parading around the house with the dead bird in its mouth

Bi mess: ASFDHGJFHKGJLH TOMMYWOULDDOTHATIFTHEYWEREACATISTG

Tommy: my cat is beautiful, she’s just showing what an avid hunter she is

Gay: shes now bringing it to the neighbor’s cat and her chest is all puffed out and shit

Bi mess: shes proud

Human torch but different: u fool they’re in lesbians with each other

Gay: the cats?

Human torch but different: yeah, shes showing her wife that she brought dinner home

Bi mess: thats so fucking cuteasldjkh

Tommy: she learned from the best, also known as me

Gay: idk the neighbors cat came in and shes licking our cat’s nose

Bi mess: aww

Bi mess: they lesbianing together

Human torch but different: funny how a cat can be a better gf than trini

Gay: u better shut the fuck up before u get smacked the fuck up bitch

Zack: oop-

Carrot: you people are a disaster

Tommy: shut up basic white bitch no one cares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment!


	27. Mukbangs but make it scary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Human torch but different: I don't know what I expected
> 
> Human torch but different: but definitely not fucking that

**[9:12 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Human torch but different: I just set fire to the delivery man on accident

Carrot: …

Carrot: why

Human torch but different: I have mommy issues

Carrot: im afraid to ask how that is relevant

Human torch but different: its very simple mommy issues make u a sociopath and daddy issues make u a people pleaser

Tommy: I don’t want to be that bitch but where is ur evidence?

Human torch but different: azula and zuko

Gay: oh shit shes actually right

Tommy: id let azula rail me no cap

Zack: stop simping

Bi mess: Guess what bitches

Zack: wut

Bi mess: school starts tomorrow and I want to die

Tommy: aight

Bi mess: we actually need to go back to school, not online they r going to take our temperature every day and we need to bring two masks

Zack: what the actual fuck

Gay: …

Gay: I’m drinking two cans of red bull with my coffee and you can’t stop me

Bi mess: can I join

Tommy: same

Zack: ^

Gay: sure

Carrot: this can only end horribly

Carrot: I guess I'll go hose down the delivery man

**[12:43 am]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Shego: so like

Shego: kim dyed her hair pink

Shego: and now im terrified

Bi mess: boo bitch

Shego: ur rly hurting my feelings Hart

Bi mess: how do u like it?

Shego: id rather not have to deal with a Pepto Bismol x strawberry shortcake 100k slow burn looking ass bitch but here I am

**[{We gay keep scrolling}]**

Dicaprio: that was a rly good roast 10/10

MJ: thx wanna see something awesome?

Dicaprio: sure

**[MJ changed the chat name to {Is there anything better than books? Yes a really good pussy}]**

Dicaprio: noice

**[3:35 pm]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Zack: kim just took the biggest L on twitter

Human torch but different: tell

Zack: she asked if people knew her irl and everyone was all like 'u literally outed urself'

Human torch but different: big rip

Bi mess: stop

Tommy: wait r u verified?

Bi mess: yeah im a superhero?

Tommy: but I am too and im not verified

Zack: rip

Tommy: I hate this fucking family

**[6:23 pm]**

Carrot: is anyone coming down for dinner?

Bi mess: Im mentally preparing myself for tomorrow

Tommy: rip

Gay: we have nachos and salsa

Bi mess: nvm

Gay: also if any of you motherfucker double-dip I will slit your throat

Bi mess: u literally ate my ass yesterday but okay

Zack: GSDAFHGJHKJLK;

Tommy: KIM WTFKDGAJHSFLKJGR

Human torch but different: ffs

Human torch but different: why

Carrot: graphic anyways

Carrot: if you aren’t down in the kitchen in the next ten minutes I can’t promise that no one is going to take your share

Tommy: fuck im coming

Zack: same

Human torch but different: hold up

Carrot: huh it worked

Bi mess: if any of yall bitches eat my food I will personally stab you and mail your cut-up remains to your mother

Carrot: oh no

Human torch but different: over my dead body slut

Bi mess: thats the point u bitch

Gay: stop right now or none of u r getting any food for the next week

Bi mess: okay trini

Human torch but different: fine

Carrot: you are a blessing trini

Gay: I know

**[7:02 pm]**

Human torch but different: tell me what embarrassing thing your partner does cause im bored and need blackmail material

Bi mess: bet

Bi mess: trini is like rly ticklish on her neck and feet

Zack: lemme just save that information for later real quick

Gay: sometimes at night kim likes to grab my boobs and whisper ‘I love boobs’

Bi mess: WTF TRINI?

Human torch but different: wow

Human torch but different: I don't know what I expected

Human torch but different: but definitely not fucking that

Tommy: zack likes to watch mukbangs

Zack: tommy why

Bi mess: lmao

Zack: tommy sometimes walks into walls and says im sorry to the wall

Tommy: tbh I deserved that so whatever

Human torch but different: not to be a bitch but what the fuck is a mukbang?

Bi mess: meet me in the living room and ill show u

Zack: which one r u showing her?

Bi mess: Nikocado avocado

Zack: KIM NOADHKSLJKGD;SAF

Tommy: rip shego

Bi mess: hold up imma go traumatize a bitch

Zack: show her the mental breakdown™ one

Bi mess: which one? there are so many

Zack: all of them >:)

Bi mess: I will

Gay: im not paying for the therapy that shes going to inevitably need after

Tommy: fair

Carrot: dont sleep late

Zack: what why?

Carrot: school?

Zack: o fuk

Tommy: bye im going to kill myself and its ur fault school

BI mess: join me instead shego is making the funniest fucking face and its hilarious

Tommy: coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this time.


	28. We going back to S c h o o l

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi mess: it's actually bros before hoes
> 
> Notpossible: I know what I said and I stand by my mistakes
> 
> Shego: unlike my dad

**[10:35 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Tommy: guys guys guysguysguysguys

Human torch but different: what?

Tommy: kim just called trini in class and the ring tone was deepthroat by cupcakke

Tommy: deadass the teacher was doing roll call and suddenly everyone just heard ‘HUmP ME!!!' at like max volume

Tommy: trini is so red

Tommy: the teacHER LITERALLY JUST SIGHED AND ASSIGNED US AN ESSAY IM-

Human torch but different: lmao

Zack: why dont I have classes with u? Im missing all the fun

Bi mess: can I just do online? Im tired of this shit

Carrot: it?hasn’t?even?been?a?day?

Bi mess: and?

Carrot: nevermind

Bi mess: thats what I thought binch

**[4:23 pm]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

**[Shego added Kim to {Kill me baby one more time}]**

Bi mess: ey no partners allowed

Shego: tommy is here with zack

Bi mess: shit

Kim: hi

**[Shego changed Kim to Notpossible]**

Notpossible: are you serious shego?

Shego: lmao sry kim

Toon: I have a question

Shego: I may have an answer

Toon: so like

Toon: u nd kim fight each other because shes the hero and ur the villain’s sidekick right?

Shego: Used to but yeah

Toon: do you ever think about what it would have been like if you didn’t know each other’s identity? And if Shego was a student at kims school?

Shego: fuk yea

Shego: I can imagine a fucking long ass slow burn with our very flirty hero/villain dynamic

Notpossible: yeah, our attraction would stem from us fighting each other all the time

Notpossible: I should ask someone to write a fanfic about this, take our civilian identity and make an actual slow burn

Shego: how about u write it

Notpossible: sure

Trailer: would u write smut?

Shego: probably

Trailer: disgusting

Toon: can I beta it?

Shego: sure

Bi mess: this whole convo took a weird turn

Toon: are u really surprised?

Bi mess: not really

Toon: then shut up

**[6:48 pm]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Human torch but different: who the fuck set the kitchen on fire?

Zack: funny coming from u

Human torch but different: answer the question

Bi mess: I dont know how I did it im so sorry

Carrot: trini said something to her and apparently she accidentally dropped water on the still hot stove which caused a fire to erupt from it

Human torch but different: I-

Tommy: what the fuck could trini have said that would have made you s e t t h e k i t c h e n o n f i r e?/?

Bi mess: I was beating some eggs and she told me ‘will u beat me as hard as u beat those eggs princess?’ and I panicked

Zack: KSADGHHJLSLDKHJ OKAY BUT THATS SOMETHING U WOULD DO ASKGHJJHLD

Bi mess: just stop

Tommy: I’m asking you to cease what you’re doing right now

Zack: I’m demanding with an embarrassed intonation for the cessation of the actions that you’re doing in that instant because it irritates me

Human torch but different: Due to you overwhelming my patience limit, I am telling, while emphasizing on the embarrassment that it causes me, that I would highly appreciate if everyone in this collective discussion could decide by common accord to leave off the type of conversation we were having in that last moment to return to subjects that pleases me more since this one provokes in my brain a chemical reaction leading to me feeling irritation and discomfort

Bi mess: I don’t appreciate this slander

Zack: lmao whos ready for school tomorrow?

Bi mess: just snap my neck now pls

Bi mess: I cant endure this torture anymore

Gay: kim, meet me in the game room

Bi mess: omw

Tommy: I-

**[8:52 pm]**

**[{Kill me baby one more time}]**

Notpossible: shego

Shego: hmm?

Notpossible: I cant make it for our date

Shego: what? Why?

Notpossible: I need to watch my brothers while my parents go out :(

Toon: stop the domesticity

Shego: I think not

Bi mess: well u know what they say

Notpossible: hoes before bros :(

Bi mess: its

Bi mess: it's actually bros before hoes

Notpossible: I know what I said and I stand by my mistakes

Shego: unlike my dad

Trailer: SHEGO WTFKSAGDHJDFLG;SAJ

Toon: that reply has me DEAD

Bi mess: lmao team daddy issues square up

**[Shego changed the chat name to {Team daddy issues}]**

Bi mess: its what she deserves

Shego: hmm

Shego: dont yall have school or smth

Bi mess: dont remind me

Toon: goodnight everyone!

Trailer: tom ily but please stop

Toon: guess who isn’t getting cuddles

Bi mess: rekt

Trailer: fuk u kim

Shego: go to sleep u disaster children

Bi mess: whatever mom

**[9:23 am]**

**[{The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Zack: guys, come down to the science room brie brought kombucha for us all

Bi mess: b-but s-social distancing

Zack: fuck that

Bi mess: I don’t like kombucha

Tommy: ^

Carrot: ^

Zack: u dont understand

Zack: ty tried it and spit it out, u know what that means?

Tommy: it’s now Respecting Women Juice right

Zack: yUP

Carrot: dont drink it pls

Bi mess: whats this Jace? U dont respect wamen?

Carrot: …

Carrot: ill be there in five minutes

Gay: I drank too much respecting woman juice

Gay: now im gay

Bi mess: lets go bitches

Tommy: chug chug chug bitch

Human torch but different: wow

Human torch but different: wish I was there

Bi mess: get ur green ass over here then

Human torch but different: but im at home?

Bi mess: hmm

Zack: sounds like u dont respect women shego

Human torch but different: stay right where u r im omw

Bi mess: YAAAAYY11!!!!!!

Tommy: WOOOOOOOOOOO!O!O!!

Zack: leTS GO BITCHES!

Gay: …

Gay: wait for me im coming

Zack: lmao brie looks so confused

Bi mess: is she drinking it too?

Zack: ye

Bi mess: good

Gay: is brie gay?

Bi mess: with the amount of respecting woman juice she just drank I sure hope she is

Bi mess: aksjksakka tommy just walked up to her and asked

Gay: what did she say

Bi mess: she said 'yeah obvi I'm dating jade'

Tommy: a gAY ICON IS BOOOOORN

Bi mess: lmao brie still looks confused

Gay: shes a national treasure

Human torch but different: im here and ready to respect woman

Bi mess: lets go team

**[Vegan changed Vegan to Billy]**

Billy: can I join?

Bi mess: ofc my sweet summer child

Billy: I was born in winter

Bi mess: …

Tommy: fdsAGHFGKHJL moving on chug ur drink bitches

Human torch but different: it actually doesn’t taste that bad why did t* spit it out

Bi mess: cause hes a little bitch who doesn’t know how to respect wOMAN

Zack: lmao ty looks so confused

Human torch but different: he called me a freak

Bi mess: let me remind everyone that this is the same guy who once drank water from a potted plant without being dared to do it

Human torch but different: ha bitch

Tommy: Vegan level 200 folks

Gay: yeah but he still cant respect women so thats invalid

Tommy: fair and valid point

Bi mess: did he seriously call u a freak tho?

Human torch but different: ye

Zack: hello 911 id like to report a Crime

Tommy: hello crime id like to report a 911

Bi mess: hello report id like to crime a 911

Human torch but different: report hello like id 911 to crime

Bi mess: 911 report crime id hello to like

Tommy: crime.

Zack: r e p o rt

Bi mess: H HE WW O

Gay: Im having a stroke what am I even reading?

Bi mess: sry got off topic

Bi mess: tommy is beating the shit out of ty say thx bitch

Human torch but different: thx tommy

Zack: they cant respond on the chat but they said ‘anything for u boo’ tell me r u having an affair with my partner?

Human torch but different: oop-

Human torch but different: but seriously no I got a gf remember

Zack: oh sometimes I forget

Bi mess: wait

**[Bi mess added Kim to {The Power Rangers + a green bean}]**

Human torch but different: nice going now we need to change the chat name

**[Bi mess changed the chat name to {Crackhead central}]**

Human torch but different: better

**[Human torch but different changed Kim to Notpossible]**

Notpossible: y u do this every time shego

Human torch but different: idk bb

Gay: ur kim?

Notpossible yeah

Gay: im sorry u were dragged here

Notpossible: its fine dont worry

Zack: how did shego even get u to like her?

Human torch but different: I wooed her with my stunning personality and awesome pick up lines

Notpossible: yeah

Notpossible: seeing someone do the macarena to the jingle of the ice cream truck just hits different I guess

Bi mess: THE BITCH DIDNT DO THATUGOASHLFJK

Billy: I know that you all have your own issues but trini just tied a cherry stem with her tongue and that is honestly impressive

Bi mess: wow really?

Billy: yes :)

Gay: kim taught me on one of our study sessions

Zack: ur study sessions eh?

Gay: (ʘ‿ʘ)

Zack: bye everyone im leaving

Notpossible: what?

Tommy: y did a black blur just run by me and why is trini chasing it?

Bi mess: read up

Tommy: ur all disaster gays istg

Bi mess: so r u bitch

Notpossible: u aren't that bad

Notpossible: shego made it seem like u all did meth or smth

Bi mess: well

Carrot: no

Bi mess: gotta snort up all those antidepressants

Carrot: kim no

Bi mess: K i m y e s

Tommy: y e e h a w

Bi mess: y i p p e k e y a m o t h e r fu c k e r

Carrot: t̵̡̛̝͓̮͇̐͛͂̒ȋ̛̺̣̯̪͓̜͇̟̰̇̑̓̀̌m̶̧͇͈͉̰̺͔̬͈͊̌͐̚͞ȇ̢͙̗͍̦̫̈̽̒͒̉̈́̋͠ͅ a̗͔̱͉̙̎̊̏̒̂̀̾͜͢ñ̢̦͍̫͕̣͂͝d̸̛̤̘̘͙̘̤̒̆̄̀͞ t̸̼̣͙̳̬̖̟͓̦͂̓̽͗̊͜i̶̬̹͉̣̻͕̇̐̎̑̑̓̌̆̉͜m̼̬̼̰͙̘̦̪͔͒̊̑̊͝͡͡ẽ̵̩̟͕͇͔͖̼̂̑͐͂ á̙͍̦̦̗̯̟̲̈́͂͋̆̅̾̾͟g̛̪̳̮̼͈̉̃̾̀̾̊͜ạ̧̧̫̝̞̊̒͂̀̋͗̚̕͢͠ͅi͖̝̭͎͎̪͓̯̅̅͊̅̕̚͝n̶̠̤͕̮̳̹͕̗̏̾̅̉͊̚͘ y̵̧̗̠͎̰͆̽͌͗̐ȏ̶̧̢̳̭̲͉͆̎͌͒ͅu̵͎̤̗̹̳̝̗̠̽͑̿̉̓̌͋͢͠ h̵̨̡̭͉̯̙̯̾̔̉̀̾̚͟͠a̵̢̮̜̪̳͖͎̽̇̑̚͘̕v̷̙̟͙̯̠̲͇̅͂̾̅͊̽͡e̗̝̦̹̯̟̪̥̹̗̐̅̃̇̓̄͠ b̻̭̥͇̖͉͒̊̀͋͝ę̹̪̟̱̦͎̏̏̌̎̈́̍͜͜e̷̦͍̟̭̗͋̈̏̌̆̂̃̃̐ͅṅ̰͔͔̣͈͎̜̐̔̌́͘͟͠ ẉ̶̨͙̪͚̻̑͛̔̌̏͆͘a̸̢̢͕͎͚̋̽̑̕͜͠͡͡r̞̖̘̼͚̽̉̀̿̽͌͒̏̅͝ͅn̴̢̛̥͍̘̭͖͎̟͍̖͊͒̉͑̄̎̾̃͡ḙ̳̗͉͕̙̟̃͌͗͛̂͋̓̕d̨̛̖̲̖͍̦̾̌̊̄͐̋͌͜͝.͉̱̱̺̫̓͗̈́̓͞ Ì̶͓̘̲͙̭͖̅̈̌͘͘̚͞ͅ'̴̧̜͉̹̣̦̪̾̄̀̂̓͋̓͘̕͜v̛̼̤̳̠̖̱̩͆̍͋̒̓͆͌ę̸̫̜̱̯̀̅̊̕͝͝ b̨͇̥͎͇̝͍͎̓̾̒͛́͑͞ͅe̛̠̣͉͕͈̎͊͐̒̇̿̏̕͠ẽ̸̬̩̮͖͕̖̱̱̓̽͛̿̔̅ͅn̷͎̺̲͕̝̞̘͇̹̯̈́͒͑̇̆͛̚ p̹̤̗̙̰̿̓̏͐͞͞a̢͔̤̣͓͍͂̎̎̈́̃͘͠ṫ̮̝͖͓̘̑̾̈́͊̄͠͞i̷̯̘̺̦̺̦͊̿̿̃̈̔̆̚͝e̫̭͖̮̰̥̰͇͋̎͂̕͜͝ṋ̶̨̲͔̳͇͖͈̔̊̋̊̔͘͠ẗ̷͕̲̲͖̲̹͔̲̳͇̋̈́̋̊͋͒ ą̻̼̥͈͖͇̱̈̓͊͂̽̍́̍̚n̛̪̱̹̺͎͐̆̇̎̊̈͐̈́͠d̨̛̯̘͚͔͇͓̦̽͌̾̄̍͘ g̢͍̲͖̼͔͖̽̏̓̑̕͢͟͠į̠͕̥̳̎̓̌̃̂̌͘̕͢͢͝v̧̮̺̞̯̹͍̾͒̔̿͒͢e͙̹͍̖̲̻̍͗͐̑͛̌͒͞ͅn̨͚͔̩͓̠̼̥̻̙̋̎̓̽̔̚͠ ỳ̟̼̬͎͚̈́̐͐͑̚͘ơ̷̘̝̲͎̻͚̟͚͊̊̓̓̚͜ų̷̢̹̦͚̲̟͗̎̽͆̐̓̽̕͠ c̡̥̳͚̮͒͂̄́h̶̞͍̘̬̰̯͓͐̌̏̉̑͒̕͟͝ͅa̧̤͎͚̳̮̠̎͋̐̐̀͡n̨̜͕͈͉̫̯̾̋̓͑͊͐̐̚c̸̛̠̣̱̙̪͓̙͐̑͑̐͂̕̕̕ė̸̤̻̩͖͍͖͛̐̍̀̚͢͠͠͝͝s̨̢͖͈̫͔͈̺̋̇̌̌̇͛̂͟ t̜͓̘̦̜̜̗̆͂̈́͆͆̿͜ȯ̶̞̭̱̠̰͑̍͊̂͠͞ͅ t̢̮͍̲̺̖͇̤̽̈̾̂̈͗̽͑͐ư̡̡̹͈̜͇̞̰̮̐͑̑̉͒̒͊̍͘͟r̡̰͖͈̝̣͚͔̃͒̒̊͂͜ͅň̛͇͎͉͙͎̠́͗̕ ô̶̼̹̯͇̬̮̗̾̋̾̚͠v̧̧̳̝̞͑̊̒͐̋͑̓̚̕͠e͉̬̟̦̼̣͗̓͐̉̒͝r̰̪̦̩̈͑̈̅ͅ a̸̢̡̤̬̤͓͌͆͆͌̀͜ n̡̠̪͉͓͖͍̠̔̇̐̑̊͢͟ę̶̗͍͍͍͓̞͚̤̈̎͐̏̓͂͌w̧̗̰̯̜̮̍̃̌͐̾͟͟͜ͅ l̵̢͔̩͓͇͙͚̍̔͆̒̅͛͟e̛̥̝̜̖͚̤͕͇̗͋̆͋̒̒͊a̶̡̧̹͚͈̖̎̎̿̄̆̕͞͠͠ͅf̨̛̤̖͖̯̣̙͖̖͐̈̍́̇͝.̸̛̮̗̘̪̻̒͒͑͆̐̉̚͟ B̧͖̘̦̣̪̫̞̓̇̅͢͡ͅȕ̞̜̭͖̜̲̣̦̪̾̏̐̂̇̈́ṯ̷̡͇͙̰̥̰͗̓͌͒͌̇́́͐͜ d̸͙͖̳̘̪̰̲̪͑̽̈́̅̿̔̚͘͘ͅḭ̸̢̝̜̦̥̪͓͊͑̃̈́͋̆̌d̨̙̪͉̲̿̊̊̈́͋̒͋͊̚͢͞ y̸̨͍̣͈̘̹̪̥͉͐̾̌͂̕͜ỏ̸̻̱̠̱͈̘̠͈̅̈́͐̽͘͝u̜̳̬͎̖̺̜̟̩̽͒̎͠͠ l͚̹͉͖̪̜̹̱̾͂̈́͊̽̚ȋ̴̫͓͚̫̝́͂̕̚s̶̬͔̙͚͆͗̓̑̽̚̕͢͡t̶̢̡̜̣̤̳͂̌̀͑͛̍e̵̫̦̟͕͚͒̐̃͂͟͡n̡͕͎̞͔͕̾̍̋̎͛͡͝ t̵̡͇̲̘̟̬̦̜͇̔̒̊͛̉̽́o̵̧̧̩̻̳̗͛͑̒̈́͋̽̈̕͢͝͝ m̨̡̛̘̤̦͙̱̼̙̑͒͘͞ỵ̴̭͈̬̘͊̄͋͑̆̽̉͘͜͞ s̸̢̨̱͕͚̻̿̈́͂̀̅̍̎i̸̢̗͓̟̝̝̱̩̮͑̿̇̄̆m̶̢̜͖̖̞̳̩̓̿̓͗͜͞p̵̡̛̥̲̹̩̽͗͜͜͞͠ḽ̶̢̹͇͌͛̒͂̒͗̄̾͟͡e̢͍͖̜͐̓̍̈́͑̚͢͝ r̳̜̘̯̖̆̂̂̋͋͑̐̌͝ë͍͖̹̫̮̗͇̻͍́̾͐̉̅̓́̍͜q̖̉̌͘͢͢͟͟͞͡ͅu̴̡̢̗̬̦̫̲̫̎̍͋̿̊͊̊̌ͅȩ̷̫̦̱̜̪̬̇͛́͗̐͟ş̢̣͕͖͚͍̳̓̌͋̍̚̕͝͝͞͡ţ͈͔͎̱͕͎͚̖̤͆̅̄̈̂͞͠?̸̫̙̩̞̙̘̾̃̒̿̈͂͢͠ ớ̥̥̱̺̫̮̘̤̙́͗̃̉͑̊̚ͅf̵̨̟̥̳̙̫̜͛̈́̉̑̕ͅ c̢̙͇̗̥͎̾́̆̀̃̚̕͡o͓̖̥̯̤͋͗͒̾̿̔͐̽͘ȗ̸͕̣͓͍͔͙̺͓͑̊̏̾̐̓̏͘ȓ̞̘̜̦̖̜̓̂̃͋s̨̫͔̗̮͈̻̾̿́̎͑̑͟͟͞͝͠e̶̡̧͔̣̩̠̊̆́̈͞͞͡ n͉͉̲̤̘͚̩͖͚̋̂̃̇̍ơ͈̻͔̘̺̟͖͛͗̐͡ͅt̨̨̤̣͇͉͋̇̿̔̔͡.̞͈͔̲̞͙̥̞̯̾̍̌̈́̕͢ Y̢̱͖̜̙̫̮̌͒͋̌̇͜͢͞͝o̴͔͔̝͓̤̞̓̒̽̍̊͂͜͡ư̸̛̥̹̞̣̝̖͈̌̈̽͑̊̐͐ v̸̛̛̳̗̘̭͎̳̮̗̱̖̔̄͗e̶̢̺̻̟̱̩͙̦̖͐̉̓͋̎͐h̙͈̪͉͔̐̒̋̍̕ḛ̸̢̨̮͍͍̪̜͈̟̈́̂̾̉̏̏͒͞͞m̲̦̲̣͍̠̩̣̦͗́̓͐͌ͅe̵̛̤̝̱͖̹̣͍̋͗̆̌̚͢͞ņ͚̪͎̫̄̅̒̉̂ť̵̢̫͚̗͔̮͙̤̇̀̽͌̃͒̾̄̽l̛̮̖͇̲̻̄̄̈́̐͌͊̿͝y̷͇̥̺̗̪̪͇̞̤͇̍́̋̂̑ d̹͕͔̹̩̝͉͂̃͊̔͐̀̚͢͟͡e̛̹͓̲̱͓̭̘̠͈͐̾̐̔̐̉č̙̜̤͚̩͊͛̓͛̆̎͞į̨̼͈̗̦̱͉̅̾̽̈͑̕͟d̵̢̫͍̟̰̺̮̬͛̀̓̕ȩ̧͓͖̗͛̓̂͛͒͂͠d̴̛̙̼̞̦̯̩͉͑͛̉̑͟ t̶̨͖͚̳͎̭̰̐̉̋͑̏̒͝ö̢̙̞̞͉̻̻́̽̏̉̇͠͝ c̷̛̦͓̱͚̼̗̼̘̀̓̄͠o̵͇̺͈̗̣͉̞͕͑̀͂͌͆͛̃͜͠͞͠n̸̡̥̝̺̼̗̂̈́͒̋͌̿̉̔͡t̨̛̼̼̙̮̖̫͇̾̓̈͟͠ĩ̵̥̮͕̩̹͕̖̒́̾̚͢n̴̡̯̜̻̹̬̬͋̽̎̑͘̕͞ư̡͔͚̜̥̘̾̓̂͗͒͞e̵̛̮̱̪̬̤̥̮̖̒̈́́͠͡ w̮̲̝̲̜̻̘̄̔̄̇͛̆̈́̉̕͟ȋ̢̢̙͙̩̃̀̅̈̀̾̚͝͡t̵̮͚̹̖̹̪̟̎̿̑̉͢͝ͅh͖̠͓͔̠̼̞͓̝͛͂͆̄̂̔͆͟͠ ÿ̡̢͚̠̝̼̺̘̭̌̇̈́͡͡o̢̨̝̦̯̤̝̜͆̏̅͘͘ư̢̨̰͎̗̳̊̑̿̿͝r̢͎͚̞̪̍͋̋̃͘͟ ụ̵̡͚͇̫͉̪͓̄͒͒͆̓̓̓͑̚n͓̥̪̥̭̿̊̅̾g̸̝͓̖͕̯̯̈͆̐̐̉̿̎̕͠o̸̘͙̱̮̮͖̤̻̱̊̏͂̂́̕̚̕͜d̡͈̻̲̰͎̫͖̈̃̿͗̾̐̈́̋͞l̛͈̱͚̗̣̻̱͇̒̓̔̑̆̈́̑͜y̸̞͕̗̦̬͕̿́̆͌̾̆͘͝͡ ẅ̢̦͈͕̬́̎̾͢͠͞ͅa̵̢͚̤̮͔̥̘̱̺̓̅̅̏̎̈̃̚͘y̸̠̗̜̗͍̔̋͛͒̏̀̀̋͞ṡ̛̖̪͔̣̤͎̯̮̀̃̉̾ͅ s̡̠̲̮̙͈̹̠͒̌͐̿͐o̸̻͎̞̯̙̘̞͍͍̎̇͋̐͗̈͜ ŷ̷̡̬̻̩͉̼̳͚̌̐͊̎̕̕͘͜͠ó̷͇̜̭͕̥̪̲͂̔̋̿͊̆̕͟u̢͙̙̜̱̖͆̆̀͋͌͢ s̨̛̥̺͍͚̆͌͊̆̎̂̓h̨̛̼͓̺̯̯̾̽̑̍̂̏̑͟͡a̷̢͔̞̦͇͔̬̝̬͒̒̂́͘l̡̝̖̺͍̥͓̜̺̓͌̓̀̓̍͘ͅl̪̼̮̹̮̠͔̂̃͊̉̆͌̽͜͝ n͕̲̙̱̓̂͑̓͊͘͘̚͜o̻̲͕̟̲̪͙̻͋̒̈́̈́͋̔̕ŵ̸̢̥̯̦͙̭̫̦̻̇͌̚͜͝ p̡̮̗̩͈͙̿̃̕͠å̡̨̫̰̼̊́̍̃̉̌͟y̸̛̪͈͙̟̤̗̒͂̎̃̊͂̾̋̔͟ t̟̠̖̟̖͔́̑̈̆̄̇͞h̶̡̟̮̘̫̙̮̮̔͒̉̓̓̄͊̿͘e̴͓̦̠̹̘̯̤̯̔͗́̓̕͟͜ p̶̩̱̺̭͉͍̀͊͗̓͑͆͢r̸͖̮̮͔̩̩̻̻͒̕͘͜͡͠i̸͖̟͖̺̱̔̇͛̂̀͐c̶̹͓̖̫̗͖̽̀̅̂̐̈́͞͠ȩ̨̛͈̳̭̺͔̥̥̾͂̐͊͐̾.̶̡̨̛̱͙̟̤͖͇̼͒͆̈́̂̚͡

Notpossible: I-

Bi mess: WTF JASON?

Gay: hes at the end of his rope

Bi mess: CLeARLy BUt wTF?

Gay: @Human torch but different this is all ur fault

Human torch but different: what? Why?

Gay: idk

Human torch but different: *clears throat*

Human torch but different: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. *beep* A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. *ding* Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Gay: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words you little whore. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, bitch. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little _clever_ comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Human torch but different: If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY makes my writing better. As a student, I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors and spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY around my freshman year because I was just **H̶̡̧̛͉̳̺̰̩̫͊͗̽̑͌̌̈́ Ȏ̸͕͇̻̟͍̦̠͊̆̄͊̒̿͜ͅ Ṟ̵̡̙̳̦̘̣̻̾̌̍͌̒͆̾̿̉͜ R̡̨̜̯͕̒͗͑͐͌̕͠ I̸̝͇͉͇̺̠̪̘͖̾͗̃́͗͜͞ B̧̬̬̘̺̟̠̎́̔̃͐̒̌͛͘ Ļ̷̹̼̺̺͈̺̲̻͔̈́̓̑̀̋̍̅͡E̹̝̤̤̩̤͋̋̊͊̄̊̚͝** at typing! Grammarly is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY for important emails, social media posts. I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly is by far the ＢＥＳＴ for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY is making me a better writer. AND it's free. I would recommend GRAMMARLY if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.

Bi mess: eye-

Tommy: *sniff* They are battling for dominance

Zack: im watching two gods fight and im honestly living

Notpossible: nvm you guys are really as chaotic as shego made u out to be

Bi mess: we aim to please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave kudos or comments, they keep me going


	29. Lesbian PDA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay: what am I compared to u?
> 
> Gay: an emo twink
> 
> Tommy: aN EMO TWINK? WTFALHDSGJFDKH;

**[5:12 am]**

**[{Crackhead central}]**

Bi mess: who the fuck ate all the cocklate

Zack: ETHE FUCKING WHATKLSJ;

Human torch but different: I-

Tommy: kIM WTF DO U MEAN COCKLATEOLKAJF

Bi mess: fuk I meant chocolate

Tommy: SCREENSHOITTED BINCH

Bi mess: wait no

Tommy: w a i t y e s

Gay: I ate it

Bi mess: aight cool u want more?

Gay: no thx im fine kim

Human torch but different: bet if it had been one of us hart would have flayed us alive

Bi mess: damn straight

Tommy: ew str*ight

Notpossible: um-

Gay: wait a minute

Gay: wHO THE FUCK ATE ALL THE CABBAGES IN THE PANTRY?

Human torch but different: wasnt there like a shit tone just yesterday?

Gay: Y E S ?

Tommy: it was me

Gay: fucking why?

Tommy: me like the C R O N C H

Gay: oh so u have the zebra instinct too

Zack: the fucking w h a t

Bi mess: ž ë b r ã

Gay: u know when you just want the crunch and eat a lot without realizing

Notpossible: thats

Notpossible: thats called a craving

Gay: oh

Tommy: Ž Ë B R Ã Ï Ń S T Ī N Ć T

Human torch but different: there isnt a single working brain cell in this group of people

Carrot: go to sleep

Bi mess: whatever mom

**[1:13 pm]**

Zack: kIM WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK WAS THAT?

Gay: storytime

Bi mess: huh?

Tommy: lmao the teacher asked us to present ourselves and kim stood and said that her favorite part of the Gatorade squeeze bottles is that it feels like you're drinking it straight from the alligator’s nipple

Human torch but different: BITCH WTFSLAGFDSHJWNCEILHUIRCSTLFHWBQE

Notpossible: oh my god what the hell?

Bi mess: idk

Bi mess: trini doesn’t deserve me

Gay: I-

Bi mess: she deserves better

Gay: what the fuck kim?

Gay: I like ur dumbass moments

Gay: they make u cute

Gay: besides ur literally rich, kind as FucK, beautiful, smart, strong and literally loved by everyone as u should be

Gay: what am I compared to u?

Gay: an emo twink

Tommy: aN EMO TWINK? WTFALHDSGJFDKH;

Bi mess: trini-

Bi mess you are way more than just an emo twink. You’re my girlfriend and you are very dear to me. I should honestly feel b l e s s e d that you even want to associate with me, much less date me. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I dont want you to ever call yourself an emo twink again. You aren’t emo you’re punk/goth and you aren’t a twink you’re thicc as heck and I like that

Gay: …

Gay: ily kim

Bi mess: ily trini

Tommy: asdfdghjkl trini just ran into our lecture and is making out with kim

Human torch but different: pics or it didn’t happen

Tommy: ill show u later

Human torch but different: aight

Carrot: has anyone seen zack? He isn’t in class

Tommy: hes with me

Carrot: what why that isn’t his class?

Zack: im on a date with tommy but its boring

Tommy: This isn’t a date

Zack: then y did u invite me?

Tommy: I told u that I needed to leave u after lunch to get to class and u told me and I quote ‘I do what I want u big dick partner of mine’ and followed me here

Human torch but different: this is why zack is the only guy I can stand besides billy

Notpossible: ‘big dick partner?’

Zack: yea tommy is fucking hung

**[Tommy blocked Zack from {Crackhead central} for 5 minutes]**

Tommy: blocked and reported

Human torch but different: well? Are u?

Tommy: smh

**[4:31 pm]**

**[{Team daddy issues}]**

Toon: alright which one of yall dumbasses put a snapping turtle in the toilet

Shego: lmao did it bite ur ass?

Toon: no but it did almost bite kim in the balls

Bi mess: ALmOsT

Notpossible: sounds rough

Bi mess: T_T

Trailer: *clears throat loudly*

Trailer: fi yuo cna raed tihs yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

Shego: …

Shego: am I having a stroke

Bi mess: I cant read it

Trailer: I put the snpnaipg ttulre in the tielot

Bi mess: im coming for ur shins

Trailer: I THOUGH U SAIDU COULDNT READITASHLfj

Bi mess: I lied bitch

Notpossible: wait

Toon: tits fine

Shego: TiTS fine?

Toon: *its fine

Notpossible: how?

Toon: let’s just say shego held zack down while kim took one of trinis chanclas

Notpossible: …

Bi mess: the chancla never fails

Trailer: I regret everything

Bi mess: good

Toon: wait

Toon: kim how did ur parents react when they found out that you were dating ur arch nemesis

Notpossible: well

Notpossible: shego and I were making out in my room and my mom just burst in asking why there was noise coming from my room. So she just stood there until we saw her and I screamed while Shego just rolled off of the bed into the abyss

Notpossible: we explained everything and my parents were alright but shego still refuses to stay in my room alone there because she doesn’t want my parents getting the wrong idea and thinking that shes taking advantage of me

Shego: hey I might love u but im a feminist first and a useless lesbian second

Toon: vaild

Notpossible: …

Notpossible: you love me?

**[Shego went idle]**

Bi mess: OwO what is this

Notpossible: shego come back pls

Shego: ok

Notpossible: can u meet me at my house please?

Shego: u dont need to do that if u dont want to

Notpossible: I want to, It’ll make me happy if we talk about this

Shego: Oh!

Shego: Wow!

Shego: Thanks!

Shego: Yeah

Shego: haha

Shego: ttyl

Notpossible: Ill see u soon :D

Trailer: is this what second-hand embarrassment feels like?

Bi mess: That was singlehandedly the gayest and most painful thing I've ever had the misfortune of witnessing

Toon: ^

Shego: fuk u

**[5:10 pm]**

Shego: I’m coming back and I still have a gf

Bi mess: u want me to drive to pick u up?

Shego: fuk u I can find my own way home

Bi mess: okay damn bitch

**[5:23 pm]**

Shego: uh so…

Shego: I think I’m lost

Bi mess: ‘FUk U I cAN FinD My oWN Way hOME’ -Shego

Shego: I didn’t come here to hear this slander

Toon: *read

Shego: shut

Toon: I’m cute and very poor and I’d like some money pls dont be mad at me

Shego: absolutely forgiven here is my wallet, my room key, and I dont have a wife BUT if I did you could bonk her

Bi mess: SKSKSKSKKSKS bONK HER?

Trailer: I’ll go and get shego I guess

**[7:12 pm]**

**[{Crackhead central}]**

Bi mess: so like

Bi mess: im stuck in the elevator at the McDonalds down the street

Zack: the mcDONALDS HAS AN ELEVATOR?

Bi mess: yeah and im stuck in it

Gay: y didn't u call the authorities first?

Bi mess: oh the employees r getting someone here to fix this but I was bored

Tommy: u good up there kim?

Bi mess: I mean Im not dead so im fine I guess

Bi mess: the elevator is hella creaky thought

Bi mess: but what is humanity but a passenger on a creaky unstable elevator that might kill us at any moment?

Human torch but different: I hate that I fully understood that

Carrot: I don’t need to have an existential crisis right now Kim

Bi mess: I didn’t need to be vored by an elevator today yet here I am

Tommy: vORED BY AN ELEVATROLASHFKDJG

Human torch but different: Imma go save kim

Carrot: wait no

Zack: W A I T Y E S

Gay: @Notpossible control ur gf

Notpossible: control urs first

Gay: fair

Carrot: anD THAT’S ALL YOU CAN DO TO HELP???

Gay: ??yes????

Carrot: …

Carrot: I'm leaving

Zack: I call his computer

Tommy: I want his giant Totoro plushie

Gay: o fuk I cant believe uv don this

Tommy: sucks to suck

Zack: lmao skate fast eat grass smoke ass

Tommy: wait wait waitwaitwaitwaitwait

Human torch but different: Eat GRaSS smOKe AsS?

Zack: wait no

Bi mess: zACK WTFLAHJSFKDGFHMRT;

Tommy: im lIVING

Zack: im going to sleep bye

Gay: are u okay kim?

Bi mess: yeah shego blew up the elevator we got out and the police dont even suspect us

Carrot: YOU WHAT??!??!?

Tommy: lmao jasons blood pressure?

Human torch but different: through the roof

Bi mess: just like we like it

Human torch but different: *chef kiss* marvelous

Carrot: …

Carrot: you better find a good fucking hiding spot before I come over there and shave your dry ass head

Bi mess: Oh FUCK

Human torch but different: RUN BITCH

Tommy: IF WE N A R U T O R U N WE CAN DODGE HIM

Bi mess: L E T S G O T E A M D U M B A S S

Human torch but different: E Y E E Y E C A P T A I N

Tommy: R I G H T B E H I N D Y O U C H I E F

Gay: im going to bed

Notpossible: you guys are W I L D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to comment!


	30. DnD stands for dungeons and dicks right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy: Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock
> 
> Tommy: if u touch me ill beat u with my cock

**[10:32 am]**

**[{Team daddy issues}]**

Toon: lmao we’re in band and the teacher left so kim is singing something

Toon: she just got down on her knees on stage and sang ‘Scuse me, miss, but can I get'chu out of your panties?’ to trini

Toon: our little goth is blushing

Shego: @Bi mess u gave her gay bitch disease

Trailer: o so thats what the dying sabertooth tiger sounds were

Shego: dYING SAbeR TooTh TIgEr

Toon: vocal cords hit a different level

Bi mess: It’s not her fault she’s getting older and her body is changing that isn’t something she’s gonna apologize for

Trailer: I wish she would

Bi mess: SFHDGFJTGKAHlSHLDFJK

Bi mess: bitch

Shego: I wish I had died in the womb

Toon: lmao same

Bi mess: ^

Notpossible: …

Shego: :)

**[11:42 am]**

**[{Crackhead central}]**

Carrot: tOMMY

Tommy: hmm?

Carrot: what did you do to my locker?

Tommy: I put dick stickers on it

Carrot: …

Tommy: anyways im going to lunch

Carrot: You will be dead by the time lunch starts and I will feel no remorse when zack sobs over your pitiful corpse

Bi mess: we preparing a funeral now

Tommy: play the Wii music on repeat as my casket is being lowered into the ground

Bi mess: sure

Zack: dont touch tommy or I will fucking kill u jace

Carrot: I will spare them now but be warned

Tommy: yeah whatever

Bi mess: yall r one of the most functional couples here we cant lose u

Human torch but different: fuk u hart I guess

Bi mess: okay but u nd kim r different ur basically already married so u dont count

Human torch but different: are we not functional hArT?

Bi mess: ur queens

Tommy: PERIODT

Bi mess: I once saw u eating that naco thing that kim made for u even tho u hate it

Human torch but different: nOT IN THE FUCKING CHAT U BITCH

Notpossible: shego if you dont like nacos just tell me and I’ll get something else for u. I wont be offended

Human torch but different: okay kim T_T

Bi mess: cute

Human torch but different: go eat a clit hart

Bi mess: lmao okay

Gay: please shut up im still in tech

Bi mess: sry

Gay: ur forgiven I dont know about the other snails tho

Tommy: THe oTHEr sNAiLS?

Human torch but different: whatever bye bitches

**[12:12 pm]**

Tommy: Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock

Tommy: if u touch me ill beat u with my cock

Human torch but different: toMMY WTFLADSHJFEUI

Tommy: u heard me

**[Bi mess added Brie to {Crackhead central}]**

Zack: kIM WTFARE YOUDOING?

Bi mess: adding a friend?

Brie: Is this a bad time

Notpossible: for your mental health probably

Brie: that would explain the chat name ig

Bi mess: dont be like that brie

Brie: fine

**[Gay changed Brie to OwO]**

OwO: I see ur point

Notpossible: would you like to play a quick game of DnD?

Tommy: yes

Zack: sure

Bi mess: lmao ye

Human torch but different: rly kimmie?

Notpossible: shut

Human torch but different: lol yeah ill play

Gay: sure

Carrot: I'll pass

Billy: I’m finishing homework sorry :)

Bi mess: its fine billy ur valid

Bi mess: jason is a little bitch tho

Carrot: stop

Bi mess: ok :/

Notpossible: so we can play?

Bi mess: yeah go ahead

Notpossible: great this is going to be very quick so just tell me ur class and name

Bi mess: lit imma be an elf barbarian called mimi

Human torch but different: mIMI?

Bi mess: yes

Human torch but different: lmao okay

Human torch but different: ill be a warlock and u can call me pussy

Bi mess: WOw

Human torch but different: shut

Gay: Ill be a ranger then

Tommy: oop-

Gay: I guess u can just call me trini idc

Zack: hah ill be a bard

Zack: and my name will be

Zack: caprisun

Bi mess: noice

Tommy: ill be a rogue named my neck my back

Zack: Tommy what the fuck

Tommy: ;)

Bi mess: disguSTANG

Tommy: arent u the one who ate trini out on the dining table?

Bi mess: nvm

Tommy: Thats what I thought bitch

OwO: uh lemme get uuuuuuuhhh

OwO: mage named lick my pussy and my crack

Tommy: yus

Notpossible: I am already regretting everything

Zack: just shut up and get on with the campaign

Notpossible: fine

Notpossible: u all wake up at the edge of an island and right infront of you is a huge volcano that looks like its about to erupt, there is a note on the ground next to u. what’s ur move?

Bi mess: oop-

OwO: I get up and try to get the rest of my party up

Notpossible: u roll a 17

Notpossible: lick my pussy and my crack successfully wakes their party members +5 in charisma

OwO: bET

Bi mess: noice I wanna eat a coconut

Notpossible: 2

Bi mess: ASHJDKLDFG

Notpossible: mimi tries to get a coconut from a tree but she shakes the tree too much and a crab falls onto her head, she loses an eye

Human torch but different: BITCH WTFLSHJAKDF

Tommy: eye-

Bi mess: whY WOULD U DO THAT? IF U KNEW HOW I FELT THEN Y WOULD U SAY THAT? LIKE U PUT ME IN SUCH AN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS LIKE U KNOW IM NOT HAPPY U KNOW THAT IM TRYING!

Notpossible: you rolled a 2 what did you expect

Bi mess: not fucking tHAT

Gay: I try to get the crab off of kims head

Notpossible: 12 trini manages to get the crab off of mimi but it scratches her arm, she cant use her left arm now

Bi mess: thx bb

Gay: I gave an arm for u

Bi mess: and I love u o3o

Gay: -_-

Zack: me next

Zack: I read the note on the ground and I go to the beach and try to fish

Notpossible: 10 caprisun reads the note it says that u were all banished from the kingdom of Karakonat and u need to slay the giant cyclops, Ihaln that inhabits this island before being able to come home. Caprisun also crafts a fishing pole and catches four fish the whole party eats and gains + 5 in strength

Bi mess: yAAAAAAS

Human torch but different: crunch munch bitch

Zack: ur welcome

Human torch but different: I find a cave and make it a hideout for my party

Notpossible: 13

Notpossible: pussy manages to lead her party into a cave but it starts raining nd there is thunder

Tommy: finally

Tommy: my turn

Tommy: I

Tommy: grab caprisun and fuck him

Zack: asDHFJGHKJLK

Bi mess: tOMMYY

OwO: UwU I do not see

Notpossible: huh

Notpossible: 20

Tommy: YES BITCHES IM GETTIN SOME BUSSY TODAY!!

Bi mess: oh WOw

Human torch but different: heeeeeeeeeeeeheeeee

Notpossible: my neck my back invites caprisun to a corner of the cave and slowly begins undressing

OwO: does this qualify as an erotica?

Tommy: ye

Notpossible: my neck my back pulls down caprisuns pants and fucks him

Tommy: I want details

Notpossible: I haven’t even had sex with shego yet how do u expect me to write smut?

Zack: gkjashld valid

Bi mess: yall havent fucked?

Human torch but different: no im waiting

Bi mess: fair

Notpossible: idk my neck my back fucks caprisun in the ass and they have a good time the end. -3 strength +10 dexterity

Tommy: tf

Zack: *confused happiness*

Gay: I take the stones of the cave to make weapons

Notpossible: 19 trini successfully mines the stones and equips each party member with a sword +20 strength for everyone 

Bi mess: lmao Im still not over tommy earning more hand-eye coordination because they fucked zack

Tommy: I must have aimed my dick right

OwO: mom come pick me up im scared

Gay: pls stop I dont want to hear anything MORE bout dicks

Bi mess: what’s the scoop?

Zack: hehe penis

Human torch but different: go suck a dick, suck a dick, suck a motherfucking dick

OwO: suck a dick, suck a huge, a small dick

Gay: *gay screeching*

Bi mess: thats my gf T_T

Human torch but different: is getting dicked in the ass rly that good?

Zack: yes

Tommy: ive never got any complaints

Bi mess: idk

Human torch but different: trini?

Gay: …

Bi mess: we dont do anal

Gay: hmm

Bi mess: we tried once but it wasn't something that we enjoyed so

Tommy: valid

Bi mess: thx

Notpossible: Suddenly a blood-curdling scream is heard from outside. Ihaln is now standing infront of the cave surrounded by a flok of sheep

Zack: sheep?

Gay: flok?

OwO: waIT THAT W AS REALLY CUCKING FAST HOL UP

Bi mess: lol cucking

OwO: *fucking

Tommy: she said it was a short campaign

Human torch but different: idk shes probably tired of hearing about u nd zacks anal stories

Tommy: beGON THOT!!!

Zack: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Bi mess: we’re gonna die!

OwO: try me binch

Gay: guys brie is literally a mage just get her to cast a protection charm

OwO: oh ye

Human torch but different: lmao trini is literally carrying this entire fucking campaign

OwO: I cast a protection charm

Notpossible: 15 lick my pussy and my crack preforms charm successfully

Tommy: I naruto run to slice the fuckers head off

Notpossible: 3

Tommy: no fuck

Notpossible: my neck my back tries to cut Ihalns head off but trips and ends up cutting Ihalns dick off

Bi mess: asdFDGJGYKSADHULFI

Zack: go babe

Bi mess: I go and pick up the dick

OwO: kIM NO

Notpossible: 8

Notpossible: mimi grabs the dick but is attacked by the sheep they rip your arm off

Bi mess: bITCH WTF?

Tommy: get rekt

Human torch but different: I grab mimi and throw her at the bitch while saying that his name is trash

Notpossible: 17 pussy throws mimi at Ihaln. Mimi has her sword out and stabs him in the ear you deal damage -15

Bi mess: I-

OwO: I grab an arrow

Notpossible: 1

OwO: oh no

Notpossible: lick my pussy and my crack goes to grab an arrow but accidentally grabs the dick from mimi

OwO: oh

OwO: I shoot it anyways

Notpossible: 5 lick my pussy and my crack trips while shooting and sends the dick into Ihalns mouth You deal a lot of damage! -50

OwO: YES BITCH

Zack: im fucking cryin

Bi mess: noice

Human torch but different: how big is it? its for research

Notpossible: not relevant

Gay: D E E P T H R O A T D A M A G E

Bi mess: yES BABE

OwO: die bitch

Zack: I cast a spell to push the bitch back

Notpossible: 17 caprisun casts a spell and while Ihaln is moving back he trips on a sheep and kills himself on the stones the end

Bi mess: nice work team

Zack: wooo

OwO: lets do that again

Notpossible: no

Human torch but different: u will

Tommy: imma take a nap

Zack: wait im coming

Bi mess: ew couples

Gay: come on kim

Bi mess: fine

Human torch but different: this was a mess

OwO: what did you expect?

Human torch but different: fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know what happened here and I don't take responsibility for it.


End file.
